Revenge Season 3 Episode 4 – TV Review

Revenge Victoria smile bitch

Bitches.

A year ago, who would have thought that Revenge would be back in (and almost topping. Almost) my good books?

And all it took was a little Victoria sass and some long overdue Nolan gay fanservice.

It’s like season 2 never even happened.

TL;DR Conrad doesn’t give a fuck about confessing anymore (but didn’t kill Paul. Damn); Victoria and Patrick make a marvellous scheme team; Aiden is already back to his bratty, double-crossing ways; nothing goes well for Emily.

Good. That just gives her more reasons to take… Revenge.

The major plot point follows on from Conrad and Paul’s Ferrari crash on their way to confess about the David Clarke scandal. Paul dies, and Conrad covers up the fact that he was driving at the time of the crash. Daniel helps out, but only so he can smother any Grayson scandals in the lead-up to his magazine launch. Emily doesn’t help matters when she bitchily provides a bio note about his DUI for the premiere issue. Pre-marital tension ensues. Conrad later finds out that he doesn’t have Huntington’s after all, and resolves to be as awful as ever. Thank you, Lord. Emily is on edge because her actions have led to the death of a good man, btw. In her efforts to prove Conrad was driving, she and Jack discover that the brakes had been cut, so although Conrad was driving, it wasn’t his fault. Meanwhile, Victoria scores a job at some pretentious gallery. She suffers being looked down upon by her former socialite friends, but she’s far too busy using Patrick to bait the gallery’s owner into authorising an illegal sale, then blackmailing her into giving Victoria ownership of the gallery. And Nolan and Patrick hook the fuck uuuuuuuuppp.

Finally.

The only sizable blemish on this episode is the continuing disappointment that is Charlotte. Her only purpose in this episode is to make some awkward small talk with Emily about how she’s going to be her Maid of Honour.

I never thought I’d be willing to see her pregancy plot line come back, but Charlotte’s desperate enough for literally anything to make her relevant right now.

And whatever happened to that possibly gay Regina chick? She was fun.

 

Why I hate this episode:

Charlotte doesn’t even get called to the meeting Conrad holds to announce that he doesn’t have Huntington’s. Charlotte is utterly unnecessary.

Although I’m happy with how her plot line is realised this episode, Emily, too, doesn’t get much play. She kinda just stomps around because she’s angry at herself, and gets into some bullshit squabbling with Daniel. Come on, honey. You’ve got some Revengin’ to do.

I’m disappointed that Conrad’s hand in Paul’s death wasn’t intentional.

Charlotte is going to be Maid of Honour at the wedding, despite her and Emily’s frosty relationship. Shouldn’t have ditched Ashley, Em.

Jack somehow outmanoeuvres Emily when he video tapes the Ferrari wreck, which proves that Conrad lied about not driving (and also that the brakes were cut). Bitch, just take the file. Fuck.

Victoria may be back to her scheming ways, but she should be putting them to use in defeating Emily. Not getting a job.

Jack brings up again that Conrad is responsible for Amanda’s death. No. He. Isn’t.

Emily accuses Aiden of cutting Conrad’s brakes. Yeah, that’s not going to backfire.

Oh, and Aiden betrays Emily by telling Conrad and Victoria about the tampered brakes. I wish Daniel had killed you, jerk.

 

But it’s not all bad:

After an eternal wait, we finally have a true return to form for Victoria Grayson, Queen of the Bitches. Her little power play against gallery owner Sheila is simply inspired: have Patrick pretend to be selling one of Victoria’s own paintings behind his mother’s back, blackmail Sheila into doing it when she initially refuses, confront Sheila later saying that you found out, blackmail her again into not only giving you the gallery, but also fleeing the Hamptons. Nice to be back on the board.

She also takes great pleasure (after Conrad’s good health reveal) in enjoying the fact that Conrad stepped down as Governor for nothing.

And with Aiden informing her and Conrad about the tampered brakes, I suspect he’s gonna pin that on Emily, and we could have a good ol’ Victoria/Conrad hellstorm in the brewing. Juicy.

Conrad is back to his diabolical ways, too. Both in his relentless coverup of the accident, but also his newfound bad attitude after being cleared of  his disease.

Even Daniel’s in on the Grayson scheming fortune this episode. And the fact that he’s only helping his father for the most selfish of reasons is just gravy.

Fuck, Jack even hits a home run when it’s his independent investigation that leads to the discovery of the cut brake line. Good scheming, everyone. Snaps.

Emily’s plot line about lashing out due to guilt over causing Paul’s death is something she needed to humanise her. She is the main character, after all, so she can’t be a flawlessly cruel bitch the whole time. That’s what Victoria should be doing, baby.

Jack gets a snarky best line when Emily tries to warn him off handing the evidence of Conrad driving over to the police:
Emily: “There could be consequences.”
Jack: “You didn’t think about that when you lied to me for 2 years.”
Mmm. Hmm.

Victoria comes in close when she gets fed up with Conrad’s insistence that he wasn’t driving: “Good luck getting the authorities to swallow this tripe.” She really pops the “p” in tripe, and that’s what’s important.

Aiden gets upset when he finds out Emily has revelead her true identity to Jack. Dat jealousy.

Nolan caves on his pledge not to indulge in any more cyber stalking and investigates Patrick. He slips down to Florida to question Patrick’s ex-wife, who hates him.

Oh, and later, Nolan and Patrick kiss. And, presumably, have sex. The next episode better start with them in bed together.

Revenge Nolan Patrick kiss

This wouldn’t have happened on Arrow.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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