American Horror Story Season 3 Episode 2 – TV Review

American Horror Story Coven Kyle bag pieces boy parts

She’s taking him out of the bag, so is that kinda the same thing?

Well, if I thought raping someone to death was the most fucked up thing this show could throw at me, clearly I was an idiot.

I mean, I’m an idiot most of the time.

But damn, AHS. You’re sick, bro.

TL;DR Beautifully sick. Zoe and Madison take a bag of bits and go all Frankenstein on Kyle to revive him; the truth about Kathy Bates’ immortality is revealed; Fiona wants that immortality remedy, natch; Cordelia has weird snake sex; and Lily Rabe’s character, thankfully, isn’t dead.

I was worried.

The major plot, and the episode’s namesake (“Boy Parts”) involves Madison and Zoe visiting the morgue to remake poor, dismembered Kyle. After finding out Zoe rape-killed her attacker, Madison considers it a just reward. The spell goes a little sour, though, and Zoe ends up with a confused, pained, screaming Kyle. Luckily, Misty (Lily Rabe), the witch with the gift of necromancy, shows up to lend her a helping hand. Meanwhile, Fiona finds out the truth about Kathy Bates: the black chick (Angela Bassett) gave her an immortality potion, not simply poison. They lynched her husband and daughters as punishment for her horrific crimes, then buried her in the coffin to suffer eternally. Knowing that Angela has this power, Fiona goes to see her (Angela’s still around. And fabulous). Things are tense. Meanwhile, Cordelia is having fertility issues. Although she is determined not to resort to magic, her husband convinces her it’s a good idea, and things get weird in the boudoir.

Just see the image below.

So yeah, the FrankenKyle stuff sounds tame on paper, but good god, that shit is disgusting. Madison and Zoe just chuck around chunks of the dead frat guys until they’ve got all the pieces in place. I’m a gore fan, but the nonchalance was effectively upsetting.


If I had to narrow down a major complaint with this episode then, well, I haven’t got one. I’m a failure.


Why I hate this episode:

Nitpicking, then? Okay.

Queenie makes a crack about how she grew up with witches in popular culture like Sabrina who were white, and therefore didn’t realise black witches were a thing until she discovered herself. Bitch obviously doesn’t watch TVD.

I don’t see how simply flipping the car made all the crash victims into human Lego. Madison makes a hand wave remark about how she didn’t realise it was that severe. Yeah, that’s because it wasn’t.

The spell Madison and Zoe use to resurrect Kyle includes a pledge of devotion to the devil. They are awfully cavalier about this. I know they’re kinda bratty teenage girls, but considering the shit they’ve seen already, they might wanna be a bit more careful with this stuff.

Oh, and Kathy hopes Fiona would find a way to kill her (to end her 180 years of suffering, presumably). Aww, I want more Kathy Bates. Bring that Misery flair.


But it’s not all bad:

The FrankenKyle thing is twisted, beautiful and amazing. It’s a real showcase for the utter amorality and apathy of Madison. She’s fantastic. Watching her pick the best bits of the boys, then her and Zoe chucking together what they’ve got, is beautiful.

I’m so glad Misty is back in action already. I knew Lily Rabe was in the opening credits, but I was worried by the fact that her character was burned to death last episode. It turns out having the power of necromancy can benefit oneself, too, though. She’s got a a real swamp witch thing going on, too. The opening of the episode shows her running across a couple of alligator poachers. She doesn’t care much for their actions, so revives some gator corpses to violently kill the poachers. Bliss.

And she lets FrankenKyle stay with her while she helps smooth out his gaping scars from the re-stitching. She’s a kind lady.

Fiona gets to strut around her Jessica Lange schtick, and it’s as good as ever. She ties up Kathy in her room so she can get the truth out of her. And as soon as she’s got it, she leaves the old bag tied up and goes out to see Angela. Later, after Nan has let Kathy free and Fiona comes across her out and about, Kathy tries to tell her about how her actions (you know, killing slaves for a beauty cream) were okay for a woman of her time. Fiona wastes no time in telling her she’s a disgusting trash bag who is literally a monster. I have a feeling they’re gonna make good friends.

During Fiona and Angela’s interaction, Angela states that she herself is not a witch. I might have missed something, but I’m pretty sure she’s a shaman or something like that, and she clearly holds witches in no esteem. I look forward to finding out how these politics work.

Present day Angela is shown at home later, where her Minotaur lover is also still around. Sexy.

My question about how Queenie’s power works is answered. A flashback shows her working at a fried chicken restaurant (lol, Precious). She gets in an argument with a customer, and retaliates by dipping her arm into the deep fryer. He breaks out in burns, while her arm, still submerged in the oil, is fine. Thanks for the clarification, yo.

Queenie also gets best line when she’s in a heated argument with Madison: “Bitch, I will eat you!” Stay honest, American Horror Story.

Fiona’s not far behind with this legitimate boast while admonishing Madison and Zoe: “The point is, in this whole, wide, wicked world, the only thing you have to be afraid of is me.” I wouldn’t wanna mess with her.

Fiona also has to clean up a mess Zoe makes with a couple of nosy cops who are investigating the frat bus massacre. Zoe admits to everything, so Fiona has to use some witch version of compulsion to get them to fuck off. She’s the boss.

Kathy wanted to stop the aging process, so she got exactly what she wanted.

Oh, and Cordelia and her husband’s sex is some freaky deaky shit. He seems pretty chill with the whole sitch, though. So props to him.

American Horror Story Coven Cordelia witch sex snakes

“And there were more snakes involved than usual.”

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

4 responses to “American Horror Story Season 3 Episode 2 – TV Review”

  1. Steph says :

    Random but there was actually a black witch on Sabrina – her name was Dreamer and was like a junior witch that Sabrina had to mentor or something (she was really annoying). Plus, Sabrina’s Quiz Master was black!

    Wondering how/why Angela forgave her Minotaur lover for sleeping with Kathy Bates’ daughter…

    • ijusthateeverything says :

      Oh yeah, I remember Dreama. Way to whitewash Sabrina, Queenie. God.

      And I think it’s safe to say that, given he has a bull’s head now, Angela’s forgiveness would have something to do with penis size.

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