Revenge Season 3 Episode 3 – TV Review

Revenge Victoria mad

Just replace the plastic surgery with obesity, and there I am.

Victoria knows just how I feel.

I’d say I know how she feels, but I’d have to overdose on a pure mountain of first world problems.

And not even watching Wonderland can get me close enough to that.

TL;DR Victoria takes her alliance with Aiden public; Emily almost gets Conrad to confess; Nolan hosts a housewarming party and almost macks on Patrick; Daniel’s all work and no play.

Hey, that makes Jack a dull boy, too.

The plot circulates around Nolan’s impending housewarming party. Aiden feeds Victoria some information that confirms Emily totes stole her money. Victoria starts to poison Daniel against Emily, using Emily’s relationship with Aiden last season as extra kindling. Victoria makes her move by bringing Aiden with her to Nolan’s party, which backfires when Emily has enough of her shit and loudly berates her for being the bankrupt ho she is. While shunned by New York society, Victoria is determined to win the war, and has Aiden move in with her for continued scheming. But twist, we find out Aiden has been working with Emily all along. Meanwhile, Emily continues her plan to force Conrad’s confession. He almost does, but his Ferrari crashes on the way to the cop shop, and it looks like Paul is dead. Meanwhile, Daniel has some business frustrations with Margot, who herself is entertaining the affections of Jack. And Nolan and Patrick flirt the fuck out of each other.

First TVD, then Once Upon a Time, now Revenge. Is it gay week? Not that I’m complaining.

God, I feel filthier each week, but Revenge seems to really be making a comeback. It’s thrown off the oppressive chains of secret organisation “intrigue,” and is back to the overblown, socialite soap opera it was always meant to be. As long as they keep going to lavish parties and someone dies at least twice a season, hope will remain.

Why I hate this episode:

Conrad’s car crash was such a cop out. Unless it’s revealed that he planned it purely to kill Paul off, I won’t be happy.

Charlotte is back to her “I’m only around out of obligation” ways. All she does this episode is rent a tailor to make a suit for Jack to impress Margot, and have a bitchy tit-for-tat with Emily over said jacket. She also stabs Conrad, but it’s in a dream. Don’t waste that new haircut, baby. Work.

The Daniel subplot is all business boring. Margot wants to make a cover story about Nolan, but Daniel thinks Nolan is a big meanie jerk and doesn’t want toooooooo. When Margot fucks Daniel off, Daniel goes crying to Margot’s daddy, who agrees and wants the story nixed.

Similarly, Margot has a spiel to Jack about how she isn’t under daddy’s thumb and that she’s worked for every dollar she’s earned since she was 15. Umm, bitch, no. You’re running a magazine that your daddy founded, and the only reason you can get anything done is because of daddy’s connections. If daddy is still influential enough in your business to veto your plans without your knowledge or consent, a self-made woman you are not.

Emily outs her motives to Paul, hoping that blackmail will be enough to prevent him from blabbing. That’s one hell of a risk. You’re lucky he got Ferrari’d.

Conrad is bizarrely eager to confess the David Clarke stuff to the police. Which leads me to believe that it was all a trick just to kill Paul. I hope so, otherwise Conrad really has lost all his badassery to this fake illness.

Oh, and not one to let the Graysons have any sense, Victoria still trusts Aiden after his false information caused her to be outed as poor on Page Six. Victoria should respect herself more. God.

But it’s not all bad:

Revenge got my first sincere gasp of the season when Aiden and Emily’s kahootz was revealed. It was a small one, but it was there.

If Conrad’s goal was to pretend to want to confess so he coud kill Paul, then that’s pretty fucking fabulous. He even convinces Victoria that he’s serious, which results in her slapping him and throwing a vase. Beautiful.

Victoria and Emily might as well be punching each other in the face each time they see each other, given the lack of civility they’ve adopted. And I love it. When Emily pops in on her and Patrick having lunch, the 2 Graysons pretty much high school bully her. It’s great.

The Patrick/Nolan stuff works on 2 levels. Firstly, you’ve got the sexual espionage aspect. But, when they meet earlier at the club, Patrick doesn’t know about Nolan and his association with Emily, and the flirting seems just as sincere then. So this could be real. And if it isn’t, at least it’ll still be hot.

Charlotte gets Jack a nice suit for his date with Margot. When Emily bumps into Charlotte, she mistakenly sees Jack’s fancy suit as something she can slag off to Charlotte to help them bond (she’s like “Margot is just some rich bitch who’s trying to change him” etc). Charlotte burns her by telling her the truth. It’s rare for Charlotte to get a leg up on anyone, let alone Emily. Take this victory.

Daniel seems disappointed that Aiden has returned. I like to think it’s because he thought he was dead.

Best line goes to Emily when describing the party: “Nolan doesn’t do ‘modest.'” Thank god.

Victoria gets some points when she calls Emily a “little bitch.” Sadly, not to her face.

Victoria is upset that Conrad is so blasĂ© about wanting to confess, especially because when she wanted to do the same thing, he tried to blow up the plane she was on. I lol’d.

Oh, and Nolan does a terrible job of perving discreetly on Patrick.

Revenge Nolan Patrick flirt sexual tension

And I ain’t even mad.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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