Star Trek Into Darkness – CBF Review

Star Trek Into Darkness Spock/Kirk love

I don’t think Spock suffers from the same indecision.

I thought you might want some more aliens tonight.

Hot ones, this time.

The plot is some convoluted mess, but from what I gathered, the Enterprise crew (Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, the rest) have to stop Benedict Cum-in-her-snatch (say it fast. It works) from being evil or something. Despite having to team up with him a couple of times. Be honest, though, it’s really just a love story between Kirk and Spock. So haunting. So beautiful.

I hate this movie because the lens flare is still the main character; Alice Eve does sweet fuck all as a new character; and the CGI destruction of San Francisco isn’t as impressive as GI Joe‘s take on the destruction of London (the city obliteration gauntlet has been thrown down, studios. This is your benchmark).

But it’s not all bad because the relationship between Kirk and Spock is the best sneaky romance I’ve seen all year (watch the scene where Kirk is overcome by radiation. You tell me this is not an epic love); the action is pretty damn satisfying overall, with a decent effort made to use practical effects; and even though it’s 2 hours long, I didn’t come out of it feeling like I’d wasted my time.

Verdict: 3 out of 5 stars.

As far as the technical aspects of sci-fi action movies go, this is pretty much it.

Star Trek Into Darkness v hand

And you’re not even lesbians. What kind of fanservice is this? God.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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