Revenge Season 3 Episode 2 – TV Review

Revenge season 3 Emily

I don’t know. Does it count as “trying” if you don’t even have to try?

Yes, it’s dull and redundant.

But it’s still good enough to keep me going.

I just can’t resist a good old “poisoning someone to dupe them into thinking they have a fatal illness.”

TL;DR Because Emily is still doing that to Conrad. Patrick has a bumpy ride when Victoria tries to integrate him into the family; Daniel gets a new job (yawn); Emily goes after a revenge target, but it gets complicated; Aiden begins his scheming with Victoria.

She might finally be in the loop for once.

The main revenge plot this episode (nice to see we’re staying on formula) involves Emily going after one of Grayson Global’s old sweet-talking salesmen. He’s a priest now, but Emily don’t give a fuck about that. Nolan does, though, and he incurs bitchiness from Emily when he suggests that the dude might have changed his ways. Emily comes to the same realisation, but it’s too late to stop her plan. Aww. Meanwhile, Daniel gets into business, but not into bed, with that French Margot chick. Meanwhile, Aiden, in an effort to instil trust, tells Victoria about how he, Nolan and Emily stole the Amanda Clarke Foundation money. And Charlotte feels guilty about inadvertently causing Declan’s death.

Silly Revenge. We don’t care about Declan anymore (or ever).

You know, I’m a little bit impressed that this episode takes the “maybe they’re not all literally Hitler” approach to Emily’s revenge targets. A few of her past marks might have been a bit clean, but they were all ultimately naughty. Paul the priest appears to have genuinely made a commitment to leaving his devious past behind. Revenge is growing up.

On the other hand, this just raises further complications for Emily carrying out her revenge. I don’t want her second-guessing everyone. Just take those suckers down and end this nonsense. A little collateral damage is no biggie.

 

Why I hate this episode:

Ain’t nobody cares about Charlotte feeling guilty over Declan. This subplot was only tolerable because I got to be reminded of how funny it was that Declan went to Grayson Global because Charlotte lied to him. Like, I enjoy that she accidentally bumped him off, but I just don’t care. The baby got dropped. We don’t need to bring this up again.

Also, what the hell is happening with Conrad and the Initiative? I know that none of us want the Initiative to come back, but last season’s ending had Conrad ascending to their ranks or whatever, and we haven’t heard anything about it since. Not even from Victoria, who was disgusted by Conrad in the extreme. Maybe next week?

I don’t care about Daniel’s job hunting. It was interesting when I thought he might have fucked Margot, but then it turned out he didn’t, and I went back to sleep.

Charlotte has a whinge to Jack about how bad things happen to good people, meaning Declan’s death and Conrad’s illness. Girl, Declan was barely a prop, and Conrad (even in your own eyes, CharChar) is far from a good person.

She also turns on Emily because she gossiped about Victoria’s supposed affair or something (I don’t listen to Charlotte. Do you?). Stop cutting off your allies.

She also cuts off Conrad because Jack tells her he knew about the bomb at Grayson Global, and she therefore blames her miscarriage on undue grief over Declan’s death. So the only ally she has left is Jack? You poor thing.

Victoria chucks a psych when her introduction of Patrick to the family goes poorly. Despite the fact that she’s really only holding the dinner so Aiden can poke around Emily’s house for the Infinity Box (it’s not there, fyi). I’d rather Victoria spend her self-righteous points on something worthwhile, instead of some emotional indignation over her randomly slapping her son and family together.

Oh, and I liked Nolan better when he was fun and mean. Now he’s just doling out moral lessons for Emily.

 

But it’s not all bad:

At least he gets to have hot gay sex again.

I actually had a good time with Aiden’s little info dump on Victoria. The quicker she gets into the loop, the quicker she and Emily can have a legitimate showdown. They’re still sniping at each other across the passive aggressive divide, but I’m holding hopeful for some inspired scheming.

Emily spikes another of Conrad’s drinks to get him to have an episode of his fake illness. During dinner. This has the delicious effect of having Charlotte blame Victoria’s stressful throwing of Patrick at them for the turn. The Graysons just need any excuse to attack each other.

Feeling bad about her takedown of Paul, Emily realises that if she can save him, then she can use him to get Conrad to confess all his wrongdoings. Because she runs into Conrad at the church, and he’s feeling spiritual due to his assumed, impending death. Emily is one cold motherfucker.

Jack is looking at a bunch of new puppies. And you know I loooove puppies.

Charlotte stumbles onto best line this episode. She’s just had her shitfit at Conrad for knowing about the bomb, and she’s not very subtle about her feelings: “You deserve to die miserable and alone.” People keep saying that to me, too, and I don’t know why.

Second best line goes to Victoria, when talking about Conrad: “He’s always viewed God as a competitor.” Up until he got crippled by this Faux-itis, I’d say he was in close contention.

Patrick tries to take a potshot at Conrad for sending Frank to threaten him years ago. Conrad happily tells him that Victoria ordered that, Victoria tries to apologise, and Emily rolls her eyes in the background. I love it.

Later, Emily tries to play nice by going to see Patrick. But he’s ready for her shit and slams the door in her face. I’m keeping my eye on him.

Oh, and Victoria extends her passive aggression to Nolan, which results in some unintentional UST.

Revenge Nolan Victoria

We know Nolan isn’t opposed to bitchy queens.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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  1. Revenge Season 3 Episode 3 – TV Review | I Just Hate Everything - October 14, 2013

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