The Originals Season 1 Episode 1 – TV Review

The Originals Rebekah premiere

Nah, babe. Go back to your book.

The Originals is finally here.

Again.

Umm…

TL;DR I’m just being a dick. While it is concurrent with that TVD episode, we get everything from Elijah’s POV this time. Which includes some more deets on what the witches are up to. And a lot of info dumping for non or lapsed TVD fans.

So considerate, CW.

So yeah, the plot is the same as The Vampire Diaries Season 4 Episode 20, but we get Elijah’s side. Bascially, he comes to New Orleans and finds witchy bitch Sophie is in possession of Hayley, who is stuffed full of juicy Klaus baby. Elijah sees this as an opportunity to help Klaus find some happiness in life, and also they should totally take over New Orleans. Elijah observes Klaus’ ongoing slapfight with the impossibly handsome Marcel, and they team up. They go along with the witches’ plan to keep the baby safe and because Marcel is their common enemy. Then Klaus gets greedy and daggers Elijah. Oh no. We also see that ol’ Sophie is a backstabbing bitch (she’s fucking Marcel on the side). And Rebekah plays phone support as she only appears a couple of times when Elijah calls her.

But she did leave Mystic Falls in TVD this week, so I presume she’s on her way to New Orleans.

I’m obviously not that thrilled that this is a re-tread of an episode we’ve already seen, but it’s thankfully not a simple POV switch. We get some important exposure to the witches (the ambiguity of their plan bothered me the first time around). And it’s nice to follow the suave Elijah around, as oppposed the constantly yelling whinge-a-saurus that is Klaus.

 

Why I hate this episode:

Unfortunately, Camille (you know who she is by now) gets flipped off with a single scene. We need more Leah Pipes, guys. Much more.

Similarly, Rebekah is constrained to a couple of token, on-the-phone scenes because she was tied up with the relevant TVD plot line of the time. There isn’t enough blonde strutting here for me right now.

I’m still gonna complain about the obvious solution to Klaus’ Marcel problem: just kill all of them. He shows no particular affection or loyalty for Marcel, so I don’t know why he doesn’t just singlehandedly massacre every vampire in New Orleans and start again. This is even more painful because Klaus explicitly brags about his immortality and omnipotence to Marcel. Then doesn’t use it. Come on.

If you’re up to speed with TVD, the exposition dump could be a bit tedious. As someone who watches so much shit that it’s hard to keep up, I wasn’t too bothered by it.

Sophie thinks she’s such fuckin’ hot shit. Baby, you’re a mortal little witch twig. Don’t push it. I really hope Rebekah smacks that brat up.

The no-win bargain that she proposes to Klaus is still as absurd as it was last time (“Defy us and we kill your baby. Join us and we take your baby anyway”).

Elijah makes a bargain with Marcel that doesn’t make sense. He tells Marcel that hybrid blood can cure a werewolf bite (this is after Klaus had his tantrum and infected one of Marcel’s men). Then Elijah’s like “in exchange for this information that I’ve already given you, I want Sophie’s sister’s body.” Marcel, for some reason, agrees to this. Despite the fact that Elijah already gave that shit away for free.

Sophie claims that Hayley belongs to the witches because her sister sacrificed her life to perform the spell to confirm the pregnancy. What?

While endearing, Elijah’s nobility is cumbersome.

Oh, and Klaus daggers Elijah because he doesn’t want Marcel exploiting Elijah as a way to harm himself. Rude.

 

But it’s not all bad:

Elijah is a nice change of pace from Klaus. I’m still suffering some lingering symptoms of Klaus oversaturation from the last 2 seasons of TVD.

We get some more time with the witches. There’s a lot of them, and Sophie seemingly has elders that she has to answer to. They bitch at her for inviting more vampires into town, but luckily for Sophie, her gambit is working. And not all of them are black. It’s a miracle.

Rebekah is unenthusiastic about Elijah’s plans for Klaus, the baby and the city. She picks up best line with this scoff at Elijah’s insistence that they keep Hayley alive: “Get her? Have you lost your mind? Are we running an orphanage now?” She’s only a drinking problem and some rollers short of being almost as delicious as Katherine.

Hayley comes in a distant second with this summation of Mikael, after Elijah shows her the expository flashback: “Your dad was a dick.” To the point.

We get a bit more character development between Klaus and Elijah. Elijah feels guilty for not stopping Mikael from doing the ritual that suppressed Klaus’ werewolf side all those years ago. The flashback is pretty gnarly. Mikael strings Klaus up to a crucifix-like thing, and Klaus unsuccessfully begs his brother to step in. Aww.

Sophie and Hayley are connected by a spell similar to the one Bonnie used on Katherine in TVD last season, but without the distance limitation. And it appears to be quite permanent. That’s some serious insurance.

Sophie is in bed (literally) with Marcel. Scheming!

Oh, and now that Supernatural’s finally dead, it’s time for The CW to launch their new fleet of incest ships. Behold:

The Originals Klaus Elijah kiss incest

Oh, that’s cool then.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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