Passion – CBF Review

Passion Rachel McAdams

Mean Girls 3: The Bitchy, French Executive Years.

It’s lesbait.

That’s pretty much it.

It’s nice, though.

Our main character is Noomi “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo” Rapace, a PR/ad/marketing person working for a France-based PR/ad/marketing company. Her boss is Rachel McAdams, who is a hot bitch. They have sexual tension. And professional tension. Things go south when Rachel starts upping her bitch factor and is then “coincidentally” murdered. Noomi is arrested, but all the evidence against her is proven wrong. Or is it? It’s revealed that Noomi totally did murder Rachel, as documented by Noomi’s red-headed assistant, who also has sexual tension with her. The ending is a bullshit mindfuck that includes paranoia, twins, terrible timing, a Nokia brick being used to store evidence, and it may be a dream.

I hate this movie because the ending is annoying and dumb and unnecessary; the lesbait, which is the only exciting thing about it, doesn’t really satisfy (Black Swan already showed you how to do it. Come on. The Black Swan parody sex scene in Scary Movie 5 was better than this); and the tone can’t decide exactly how funny the movie is supposed to be.

You should watch because it’s presented in a very charming, old fashioned noir movie kind of way (overly dramatic music, Dutch angles, a POV murder scene); the product placement has hilarious schizophrenia (the company is working on a campagin for a Panasonic smart phone, but there are gratuitous shots of Apple computers); and there is no way a Rachel McAdams/Noomi Rapace lesbait movie should be dismissed. By anyone.

Verdict: 2 out of 5 stars.

I’m not saying it’s great, but, you know.

Passion kiss Rachel McAdams Noomi Rapace

I have nothing more to add.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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  1. Catching Up On Old, Cancelled Shit – Blog | I Just Hate Everything - September 20, 2013

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