I’m Probably Not Psychic: BBAU Predictions Follow-up – Blog

Big Brother Australia 2013 Sonia 80s outfit

Just like skinny jeans don’t make you skinny, vintage clothes don’t make you younger.

EDIT: About an hour after I posted this, Big Brother had their Late Night Feast special where the Housemates got drunk (and a wicked case of wine lips). And Tim totally brought up boat people, and although it wasn’t a huge fight, I’m claiming it, bitches. I’m leaving the original post in-tact, but Tim’s should actually read Accurate, and my final score should actually be 6 Accurate and 9 Wrong. Maybe I am psychic.

We’re almost a month into Big Brother Australia 2013, and after 3 evictions, a few of my prediction deadlines have passed.

So let’s see how I did.

It’s not good.

It’s not Movie 43-level bad. But it’s bad.

My predictions for the original Housemates can be found here, and the Latecomers here. Keep up.

Let’s go:

Mikkayla
“Prediction: will only be able to survive first 3 evictions because nobody will remember she exists.”
I’m counting the first 3 evictions, not the first 3 evictees (stupid double eviction). Either way, Mikkayla is still there. Though she is proving way more visible than I thought she would. I really wish she would stop sucking up to Katie & Lucy, though. She’s gonna get diabetes (which she’s already well on her way to).
Result: Accurate.

Xavier
“Prediction: top 5, but won’t win.”
Nope, evicted 3rd. My bad.
Result: Wrong.

Tahan
“Prediction: she seems ready to do dumb shit for no reason, so she should do well at the Friday Night Games reboot.”
There’s only been 3 Showdowns so far, so she still has time to get there. But I wouldn’t back her.
Result: Wrong (so far).

Ben
“Prediction: all the straight guys will pretend to get along with him to be progressive, but will relentlessly nominate him.”
Well, fucking everyone is nominating Ben, so I guess I’ll count that as a win? Also, if he doesn’t go soon, I will kill myself.
Result: Accurate.

Tully
“Prediction: at least one of the straight guys will go for it. Maybe. This is Channel 9′s Big Brother. On Channel 10 they would have already gone through the condom supply.”
I miss Channel 10. This one got a bit weird, as Tully seems to be going for Drew more than he is for her (why would anyone pine after Jade?). I’m taking it as a win, though. Because what would I be without my crippling selfishness?
Result: Accurate.

Tim
“Prediction: he will get into an argument about boat people.”
This one was kind of a joke, but I’d feel dirty if I went back on a joke. They’re my babies. My stolen, malformed babies.
Result: Wrong (so far).

Sharon
“Prediction: she won’t.” She won’t win, is what I was saying.
First evictee, bitches.
Result: Accurate.

Ed
“Prediction: he will flirt with Sonia Kruger during one of her crosses, purely to remind us that he isn’t dead.”
Ed is dull, so I got it right there. But I have failed to pay attention to any aspect of him that isn’t his abs. Nevertheless, I think fucking Ben has flirted more with Sonia than Ed. I’ll let this one go.
Result: Wrong (so far).

Matthew
“Prediction: he will never wear a shirt.”
I am a victim of my own hyperboles.
Result: Wrong. Obviously. He’s not an animal.

Heidi
“Prediction: will be within first 3 evicted.”
Nuh.
Result: Wrong.

Jasmin
“Prediction: Like Lisa from series 1, she will coast through until about halfway, then everyone will realise she’s a glorified houseplant and get rid of her.”
Well, gurl turned out to be more bitchtastic than I had anticipated. And now she’s gone.
Result: Wrong.

Caleb
“Prediction: he can hang out with Heidi in the first 3 evictees’ pavillion.”
Nuh. Unfortunately. Also, the way he talks is fucking weird. It’s like he’s breathless and has a slow-loading brain.
Result: Wrong.

Jade
“Prediction: she will run afoul of someone and be promptly nominated and evicted.”
Does being a dirty, wrinkled ho count as running afoul? Will you let me have this one? No? Rude.
Result: Wrong.

Drew
“Prediction: there is absolutely nothing relevant about him. He will be evicted near the middle when everyone realises he has no value.”
Well he’s still there, so I guess we’ll just have to wait a few weeks more to see if this one holds up.
Result: To Be Determined.

Rohan
“Prediction: he’s an “actor,” so will naturally be hated by any slightly real person he encounters. Don’t get attached to him, which I’m sure won’t be a problem for about 100% of you.”
Second one out the door. Bask in my divine wisdom.
Result: Accurate.

Katie & Lucy
“Prediction: they’re too gross to be desired by any of the male housemates, so they’ll be right behind Rohan with their ticket outta there. Unless the housemates mistake them for being mentally deficient and take pity on them.”
Caleb was desperate enough to go for Lucy (the ugly one. Wtf?). And Jasmin followed Rohan out, so it’s another concession from me. Fuck these scrags.
Result: Wrong.

Alright, let’s see how I went:

I got 5 Accurate (Mikkayla, Ben, Tully, Sharon, Rohan)

I got 10 Wrong (Xavier, Tahan, Tim, Ed, Matthew, Heidi, Jasmin, Caleb, Jade, Katie & Lucy)

And 1 To Be Determined (Drew)

So basically, I suck.

There were a few with the “so far” qualifier, though (Tahan, Tim, Ed). So you never know, I could end up snagging those babies. And Drew might come through for me.

Let’s just hope the inevitable Intruders are easy to peg.

PS: Tully is the devil.

Big Brother Australia 2013 Tully

Well, pretty much everyone except Tahan and occasionally Mikkayla, but still.
Look, Tully sucks, okay?

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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