ANTM: They Changed It, Now It Sucks – Blog
I’m living a trope. Good god, I’m basically Anita Sarkeesian.
Quick, someone cyber bully me so I can hustle $150,000 in pity money off delusional radfems and White Knights.
Also, what the fuck happened to America’s Next Top Model? I know I haven’t been keeping up for the past couple of years, but huh?
And no, I’m not talking about the excision of the judging panel. I already knew about that.
No, what really bothers me is this bullshit new judging system (the judges suck too, but I’ll get to that in a bit). I missed cycle 19, so the outrage is fresh for me.
In the past, Tyra and co would actually deliberate and discuss and come to a decision through a proper process. But this season, they just leave it up to cold, hard digits:
Instead of considering the contestants for themselves and weighing up all aspects of their performance, this is how ANTM is now deciding eliminations: judges’ score + challenge score + viewer score (via social media, natch).
Why I hate this system:
The numbers seem bizarrely arbitrary. Each judge’s score for each contestant is something out of 10, but despite it being the first week (and Kelly being a bitch), there were hardly any scores below a 5. So even though they were ripping strips off several contestants (Mike, Bianca, etc), they still scored them at least half excellent? What is this, a video game review?
I’m glad the challenge is being given more weight, but ANTM challenges are generally just exercises in modelling. The one our contestants were scored on this week was extra fucktarded, seeing as everyone except, like, Marvin and Renee, completely fucked it up. Because they were front-facing absailing down a slippery tarp in a rainstorm. Yeah, that’s fair.
And of course, what reality show could survive without social media intruding? I would consider myself a pretty good judge of style, but I have no fucking idea what the difference between a cute picture and a good model is. And I’d wager that would apply to a lot of the other fans out there, too. Since when did ANTM become Big Brother?
Finally, no matter how much potential or promise the contestants might have, they are scored solely on their performance for that week. Which pretty much destroys all tension. And means that a single bad week could ruin the best contestants.
Reasons this system might not be the worst abomination ever:
On the other hand, we’ve all seen the token “she has so much potential, let’s cut girls who did better so we can drag her along for another couple of weeks, then realise we were too kind and cut her anyway” contestant each cycle. So maybe giving them the chop right off the bat isn’t such a bad thing.
We’ve also only seen one elimination thus far, so following episodes may indeed take past photos/performances into account. I’m not betting on it, though.
Thank god Bryanboy doesn’t actually get to give a score himself.
Speaking of Bryanboy, this new panel is a clusterfuck of underwhelming. Kelly’s an ugly old bitch (I’m all for the “old” and “bitch,” but I don’t come to ANTM for “ugly”), that British guy is just an unripe Tyson Beckford, and Bryanboy is, well, have a look at the pic below. Fuck.
Worse than that, they’re nowhere near as legit as past panels. Miss J was a runway coach who could actually teach the girls about, you know, modelling. That’s what the show’s about. Kelly is a PR “Maven.” She can’t teach the contestants how to model. The first 3 episodes haven’t included any teaching. No wonder they were all garbage at the photoshoot. Tyson Unripeford is just another model. Nothing to see here. And Bryanboy is a social media something something, so yet more lack of modelling expertise. At least Nigel was a photographer and genuinely knew what he was looking at.
Oh, and just before I leave it here, one more thing: this Flixel shit is possibly the lamest thing since Sonia Kruger. Are they really going to keep using it? I didn’t realise ANTM was now outputting their photoshoots in crappy gif form. Jesus.
It’s still better than Australia’s Next Top Model, though. Not even Bryanboy could inject some life into that mess.