ANTM: They Changed It, Now It Sucks – Blog

ANTM new judges

Mmm hmm.

I’m living a trope. Good god, I’m basically Anita Sarkeesian.

Quick, someone cyber bully me so I can hustle $150,000 in pity money off delusional radfems and White Knights.

Also, what the fuck happened to America’s Next Top Model? I know I haven’t been keeping up for the past couple of years, but huh?

And no, I’m not talking about the excision of the judging panel. I already knew about that.

No, what really bothers me is this bullshit new judging system (the judges suck too, but I’ll get to that in a bit). I missed cycle 19, so the outrage is fresh for me.

In the past, Tyra and co would actually deliberate and discuss and come to a decision through a proper process. But this season, they just leave it up to cold, hard digits:

Instead of considering the contestants for themselves and weighing up all aspects of their performance, this is how ANTM is now deciding eliminations: judges’ score + challenge score + viewer score (via social media, natch).

Why I hate this system:

The numbers seem bizarrely arbitrary. Each judge’s score for each contestant is something out of 10, but despite it being the first week (and Kelly being a bitch), there were hardly any scores below a 5. So even though they were ripping strips off several contestants (Mike, Bianca, etc), they still scored them at least half excellent? What is this, a video game review?

I’m glad the challenge is being given more weight, but ANTM challenges are generally just exercises in modelling. The one our contestants were scored on this week was extra fucktarded, seeing as everyone except, like, Marvin and Renee, completely fucked it up. Because they were front-facing absailing down a slippery tarp in a rainstorm. Yeah, that’s fair.

And of course, what reality show could survive without social media intruding? I would consider myself a pretty good judge of style, but I have no fucking idea what the difference between a cute picture and a good model is. And I’d wager that would apply to a lot of the other fans out there, too. Since when did ANTM become Big Brother?

Finally, no matter how much potential or promise the contestants might have, they are scored solely on their performance for that week. Which pretty much destroys all tension. And means that a single bad week could ruin the best contestants.

Reasons this system might not be the worst abomination ever:

On the other hand, we’ve all seen the token “she has so much potential, let’s cut girls who did better so we can drag her along for another couple of weeks, then realise we were too kind and cut her anyway” contestant each cycle. So maybe giving them the chop right off the bat isn’t such a bad thing.

We’ve also only seen one elimination thus far, so following episodes may indeed take past photos/performances into account. I’m not betting on it, though.

Thank god Bryanboy doesn’t actually get to give a score himself.

 

Speaking of Bryanboy, this new panel is a clusterfuck of underwhelming. Kelly’s an ugly old bitch (I’m all for the “old” and “bitch,” but I don’t come to ANTM for “ugly”), that British guy is just an unripe Tyson Beckford, and Bryanboy is, well, have a look at the pic below. Fuck.

Worse than that, they’re nowhere near as legit as past panels. Miss J was a runway coach who could actually teach the girls about, you know, modelling. That’s what the show’s about. Kelly is a PR “Maven.” She can’t teach the contestants how to model. The first 3 episodes haven’t included any teaching. No wonder they were all garbage at the photoshoot. Tyson Unripeford is just another model. Nothing to see here. And Bryanboy is a social media something something, so yet more lack of modelling expertise. At least Nigel was a photographer and genuinely knew what he was looking at.

Oh, and just before I leave it here, one more thing: this Flixel shit is possibly the lamest thing since Sonia Kruger. Are they really going to keep using it? I didn’t realise ANTM was now outputting their photoshoots in crappy gif form. Jesus.

It’s still better than Australia’s Next Top Model, though. Not even Bryanboy could inject some life into that mess.

ANTM Bryanboy elimination hat

Beatrice can finally pass on the Worst Hat torch.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

24 responses to “ANTM: They Changed It, Now It Sucks – Blog”

  1. hikonico says :

    Project runway does reality TV so much better than ANTM They never change the process but contestants change but is everything reality TV cliche’s can offer and It just delivers week after week.Obviously ANTM is going through an identity crisis. Especially with all the new elements being added to try and make it more “Hip, and cool.” The Flixel is Shit. Its just A Gif that are poorly made and makes the picture look cheap. Kelly “I’m just a loud bitch with a failed reality tv show” Cutrone is not at all helpful to the model in anyway. I have a hard time with Danny Boy seeing it as his fashion is ridiculous and he’s suppose to embody the “Viewers” when he himself is so out of this world. I used to like not having a say in who wins because I felt that the judges new what they were doing and that even though maybe I didn’t agree I at least new why they chose this person to be ANTM. But who cares anyway none of these model ever becomes too big of a success, except I did see a familiar face in that piece of shit movie Warm Bodies. Oh well. I hope I can see some good reality TV trash drama with ANTM since they added guys to the mix.

  2. sarah says :

    I’m so disappointed with ANTM. It feels like it’s staged and mix with bad girls club now… They got rid of everything that made the show great…

    Seriously, WTF.

    • ijusthateeverything says :

      The judging really disappoints me. I understand that using the strict points system is objectively fairer (and they can’t keep dragging along underperformers because “but they have potential”), but it saps it of any personality.

      I used to love watching the judges have a conversation about which contestants they liked etc. Even AusNTM, which is garbage, has fantastic judging squabbles.

      The current ANTM feels more like a standard reality show with model stuff thrown in on the side.

      • sarah says :

        Agreed. I just found myself angry with all the models throughout the whole episode…They’re all childish and annoying.
        :-T

  3. DeeV says :

    Oh please. The “judges” still pick the order they want, AFTER seeing the social media scores. They just adjust their scores to ensure their desired outcome; which explains otherwise-inexplicable 10s. If social media were really a determining factor, the judges wouldn’t see those scores beforehand. Oh Tyra, stop treating us like we’re stupid.

    • ijusthateeverything says :

      I just want to see the judges deliberate. At least make an effort to fool us into thinking it isn’t completely rigged.

    • Leah says :

      FINALLY. Someone else agrees. The sad thing is that a lot of the people voting probably really haven’t caught on to this. Sometimes when I watch and she gives the shittiest photo a 10 because of some made up “booch-tooch” reason I get so angry. I don’t know why I bother to watch anymore honestly.

  4. topmodellfanfromfinland says :

    those are exactly the same things I was annoyied about when I watched the show!! The gif thing sucks and the new judging system and the judges just ruines the show…. what were they thinking? I thought the gif thing and the judging score thing would just be in one episode but apperently not….

  5. I hate bitches says :

    America’s Next Top Model is bad now this season 22! There is so much drama between most of the models! The only model I like there is Ava Capra. She looks nice and she’s a Christian like me! The Boom Boom Boom commercial is annoying too! It’s like they’re bullying someone… :/

    • ijusthateeverything says :

      Yeah, Cycle 22 is a joke. I just watch for the constantly shirtless dudes.

      • I hate bitches says :

        Okay, but not me, I’m not into shirtless dudes since I’m not a bitch. I really hate this season 22 of ANTM! Tyra Banks is more bitchy now! Most of models there are bitchy in my opinion. It’s a bad influence to everyone… 😟 I wished they’d picked nicer models that are not bitchy, arrogant or mean… Everything is going backwards nowadays, but not me! 😕

  6. ex360 says :

    Your final photo brought me back to your blog. I wish you were still writing about this insipid horrible and boring season that it’s going to be the last! http://antmfunny.tumblr.com/post/131180781003/americas-next-top-model-to-end-after-this

  7. judy l jarvis says :

    It is not Americas Next Top Model any more. Without Trya and Mr and Mrs J it is not the same show.

    They should have renamed it.

    • ijusthateeverything says :

      I wasn’t a fan of the Rita Ora version at the start, and things are definitely for the worse without Tyra or the Js.

      But the contestants are pretty kooky this season, so I’m enjoying that, at least. It’s not a total wash.

      I do miss all the hawt boiz, though.

  8. I hate ANTM and sluts! says :

    America’s Next Top Model Cycle 23 is even worse! It’s good to see that Tyra Banks is not the host anymore for this season, but I don’t like Rita Ora! She’s a tomboy bitch (sorry for the word) and she’s not a good host to be honest… I wish they chose a different and better host than her! The slut walk idea is not good too! When I heard that the next episode is about slut walk! Oh my gosh! This show is too much already! I don’t like sluts because they are demanding on men and at least my sister is not a slut or a bitch! I’m starting to hate this season even more! The supermarket photoshoot is not good too! I wished they did the avant-garde photoshoot in a different place rather than the super market! America’s Next Top Model is getting worse, just like in the politics! Tsk! 😐 I hope Rita Ora will not be the host anymore next season, but don’t make them return Tyra! Thank you for this article!

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