Pretty Little Liars Season 4 Episode 8 – TV Review

Hanna Fashionistard Counter:
This week is unimpressive.
Our count is now 6 not allowed, 2 subtly proud. Keep on aiming for the middle, baby.

Also, don’t let the image above excite you. It’s all in Hanna’s mind.

I will say, though, the girl knows how to strike a pose. Even when murdering someone in their imagination.

TL;DR Ashley’s situation somehow gets worse, Hanna plans to confess to Wilden’s muder so her mum can get out, and the other 3 Liars have subplots that are nowhere near as compelling as Hanna’s.

Why even bother?

Here are the plots, btw:

Hanna, following the news that Ashley is denied bail and will be transferred to the state prison, schemes to confess to Wilden’s murder herself to save Ashley. She calls in Mona to teach her exactly how to live a lie. It goes very well until Caleb catches wind and discourages Hanna from following through with it. Lucikly, Mona still does, confessing to the murder herself. What a pal.

Spencer comes upon a file from Wilden’s pre-detective days: an interview with E Lamb about Toby’s mum’s death. It contradicts the official report he later filed, which is good for Spencer for 2 reasons: 1) it’s more evidence that Toby’s mum’s death has a deeper story behind it, and 2) it shows that Wilden is corrupt (like we didn’t already know), and that someone might have been buying him off with a cushy detective promotion to fudge the report. Veronica doesn’t really give a fuck about it, though.

Emily goes to Ezra for college application advice (what happened to senór cockteased?). He says she should get a reference from her Habitat for Humanity volunteer supervisor (Emily did some thing for them in Haiti). This is Rumer Willis. They have a chat, but nothing important happens. Pam also has a mini breakdown about her shattered life.

And Aria has some shit subplot about Mike being shady because he’s started taking martial arts classes. She calls upon Jake to help her, but they just end up flirting and setting up a date.

I thought Jake had more willpower than that.

It’s another mostly agreeable episode of PLL, here. God, with Under the Dome being so consistently not-garbage, too, I’m at a loss for true targets for my vitriol. When’s Glee back on (too soon?)?

I guess I could flog Aria again. So I will.

The mini resolution she had with Jake that entailed him deciding not to see her blah blah was one of the most rational plot lines she’d had recently (or ever). And now, only 4 episodes later, here he is again, getting randomly drawn back into Aria’s gaping, black hole of a vagina because Mike has taken up karate or some shit. Jake clearly has no self respect.

I don’t expect any rationality from Aria anymore, so I’ll heap the blame on Jake. Move on, dude. You already did once. Just do it again. There must be some girl somewhere in Rosewood who isn’t a fucking messed up, daddy-issued, Serena-esque train wreck.

Why I hate this episode:

I’d say he’s pussy whipped, but he hasn’t actually gotten into the pussy yet. Just another reason to find their relationship dissatisfying. PLL could use a little sex.

Emily continues to be an indifferent cunt to Pam’s job situation. They’re living in a motel, which is already depressing enough, and Pam grimly proclaims that she’ll be needing to look for a new job. Emily can’t even manage a grunt of acknowledgement, obviously not giving a shit that it’s her fault Pam is suspended/fired in the first place.

Don’t force me to try and remember who and what E Lamb is, PLL. I’m also getting a bit of Radley fatigue. When your show starts leaning heavily on a mental hospital (unless it’s the premise of your show) for your plot lines, then you’ve got a problem.

Hanna’s decision to confess to Wilden’s murder is stupid. Doesn’t she realise that orange is not okay?

Spencer thinks that the car crashing into Emily’s house is a sign that A is getting desperate because Toby and Caleb are getting closer to the truth. Oh, silly bitch. Do you really think that little of A? After all this time?

She has a flirt with Veronica’s spunky, young intern. Whatever happened to that hot nerd? Bring him back. Preferably without a shirt.

Oh, and Hanna really shouldn’t have trusted Mona. Shock, she betrays the plan (though not in the “selling Hanna out” way I was expecting).

Reasons to watch:

Still, it’s always a good time to see Mona in action. That conspiratorial smirk is a promising sign. What’s her angle?

I’m glad that the Toby’s mum subplot is connecting with a plot that actually matters. Wilden’s official report for her death contradicts E Lamb’s interview (E Lamb said he thought she fell off the roof, the report says a window). Spencer connects this with Wilden’s swift promotion, drawing the conclusion that someone must have given him incentive to lie. This same party could also be a serious enough enemy to feasibly kill him. I love it.

Speaking of killing Wilden, during the Mona/Hanna mock interrogation, Hanna imagines killing Wilden in her head. It’s not as satisfying as Ashley hitting him with a car, but it’s a lot of fun.

Mock Wilden also snags second best line of the episode, when he’s rattling off what Hanna and Mona imagine he could have said: “You are your mother’s daughter.” He says this as a sexual proposition, just like the one Ashley went for back in season 1. I lol’d.

Best line goes to Mona:
Hanna: “The police took all the high heels in the house.”
Mona: “And left you with nothing but flats? That’s barbaric.”
Flat shoes are for quitters.

Rumer Willis is looking a bit less Stan Smith-jawed these days. She also reminds me of Sorority Row. Cool.

There is no sign of whoever was driving the car that crashed into Emily’s house (if there even was one). A is slick as fuck.

Mike is having issues with people on his “team.” Later, Aria calls him, and it sounds like he’s at a bar (she and Jake identify the noises as an arcade, but it doesn’t look like one to me). It looks like PLL is finally giving Mike his time to shine as more than just some moving, occasionally brooding prop in the Montgomery house.

Hanna calls Kate (her step-sister) a “tarantula.” I lol’d.

Aria wears a shoulder-padded dress that looks like it’s made out of comic strips. It’s fabulous.

Oh, and the opposite of that is another entry in Hanna’s bland wardrobe cavalcade. We’ve got some uninteresting grey top thing that she wears most of the episode. She puts on a basic but chic black dress near the end, but not before bringing out the old “tights are not pants” chestnut in her imaginary murder scene. Have you no ambition?

Pretty Little Liars Hanna shoot Wilden

You’re gonna have to hand in your badass points, H.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

9 responses to “Pretty Little Liars Season 4 Episode 8 – TV Review”

  1. Amadan says :

    shouldn’t emily give back the key someway already? are all female emily meets in her life lesbians? are all the male the liars meet in various subplot interested to them?
    is this plot getting somewhere? jesus i wish i was back to season 2 with an entire new season to watch and the beginning of this, now i have to wait… week by week… again…

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