Pretty Little Liars Season 4 Episode 7 – TV Review

Pretty Little Liars Emily legs

Though it would be hard to compete with dem legs.

Hanna Fashionistard Counter:
This week is a bummer.
Our count is now 5 in the stink, 2 in the pink (the colour pink being better than stinky. Don’t overthink my terrible puns).

Hanna’s mixture of bland and bizarre outfits aside, you can look forward to trespass, vandalism, theft, and vehicular damage this episode.

You know, the usual.

TL;DR Red Coat from the plane might have been Cece, Aria and Ezra look like they’re everything but official again (kill me. Actually, no. Kill them), Ashley is looking more and more fucked (still), and a car crashes through Emily’s goddamn living room.

Rosewood: the happening place to be.

Let’s trot out those plots, bitches:

Hanna is still centre stage with Ashley sitting in jail, awaiting arraignment. She’s looking at either 20 years for voluntary manslaughter in self defence, or life (or worse) for 1st degree murder. After much moping, Hanna advises her to take the lesser charge, but Ashley is holding strong to her innocence. Also, in an effort to sort this shit out, Caleb and Toby run around behind their ladies’ backs to track down Red Coat’s plane. They muscle a guy into telling them Cece Drake paid him to forge flight plans the night of the fire.

Aria’s favourite plot line, Ezra, is back in play. Mike is in trouble for possibly vandalising that kid Connor’s car (Aria is convinced A did it, and Mike isn’t confessing). When Ezra catches wind that the Vice Principal acted unprofessionally in his quest for the truth, Ezra encourages him to drop all action. It works, and Aria’s labia quiver for Ezra’s chivalrous embrace.

Emily puts off some treatment thing for her shoulder by leading Aria and Spencer to break into Wilden’s apartment to search for a link to Jenna or Shana. They instead find a meat delivery with a note from A. To get into the apartment, Emily stole a key from her mum’s desk at the police station. The cops blame Pam for the mishap, and she gets suspended, causing her financial stress. Then a car crashes into their house.

And Spencer just hangs around with everyone a little bit. She gets brought up to speed on what Caleb and Toby are up to, and the gang theorise that Cece might have killed Wilden and then arranged Ashley’s framing to cover it up.

So I’m glad there’s at least some theory. But I don’t think Cece is a cold-blooded killer, and bitch ain’t slim enough to pull off that Red Coat figure, gurl. She’s skinny, but she’s not Alison skinny.

If you hadn’t already jumped to the conclusion yet, it’s the Aria stuff that pissed me off this episode. I’ll never let it go. I go through phases where I try to lie down and accept that it will always be, but sometimes you just gotta say no. I will never accept this relationship, no matter how unbelievably enduring it is.

Go for Connor, babe. He’ll treat ya right.

Why I hate this episode:

I was also surprised to find PLL taking an ambiguous stand on the car vandalism thing. I thought it was pretty obvious that Mike was the one doing it, but Aria only entertains that idea briefly before deferring to “A did it.” Mike, though suspicous as fuck, maintains his innocence, too. Huh? Also, who cares? Is PLL so desperate for plot lines that they’ll turn some petty car vandalism over a nobody, one-shot character like Connor into a multi-episode arc?

Emily totally fucks over Pam. She blows off her new treatment, which is fucking expensive, so she can go snooping at Wilden’s. Then she shows the barest of distress over Pam being suspended and potentially fired/charged for losing the key. She’s got legs, but compassion ain’t her strong suit.

Toby and Spencer still refuse to fill anyone in about what they’re looking into regarding his mum’s supposed suicide. Again, why?

In an attempt to shoe-horn him into more scenes, Ezra has an exchange with Hanna where he allows her to postpone some assessment while her life is in shambles. Ugh, can’t you just accept that you mean nothing to anyone except Aria and butt out? Plz?

Emily’s little “fucking leaving dumbass evidence for the cops” debacle hasn’t finished playing out yet. Pam hasn’t been informed by Roma. Groan.

Though practical, and I am a proponent of practicality, Hanna’s a bit ridiculously selfish when she advises Ashley to do the self defence plea and get the 20 years. Hanna’s like “I’ll take 20 years over never seeing you again.” Dick, you’re not the one who has to serve the sentence. What have I said about disrespectin’ mah Ashley, huh?

Oh, and Toby’s “threat” when he and Caleb are interrogating Nigel (the guy who works at the flight centre) is to almost drop the lighter into a tiny wastebasket with a few crumpled up pieces of paper. That’s about as impressive as Blake Lively’s acting range.

Reasons to watch:

On the other hand, they do play things cool with a bribe at their first meeting. And virtually any bribe scene reminds me fondly of the one in Scream 3.

I’m thankful for the theory about Cece. I don’t for a second think it’s right, but I’m happy that our little crew are trying to work things out. And I like having Cece around. Hopefully this means she’ll be back soon.

And as harmful as it is to Pam, I’ll give Emily some points for breaking her ass into Wilden’s apartment. Proactivity is better than no activity.

The highlight of the episode is obviously the car crashing into the Fields house. Pam and Emily are okay. I’m a li’l bit keen to see what the fuck it was all about, though.

Ashley’s stoicisim is the other major draw of the episode. In Hanna’s earlier visit to her in the episode, she acts dejected and defeated, sadly rebutting Hanna’s hope of her release/acquittal. Later, when Hanna comes in with her “just do 20 years lolz” thing, Ashley stands up for herself, and delivers this ball-busting speech worthy of a Marin: “Listen to me, Hanna. I can accept responsibility for the choices I made that put Darren Wilden in our way. But I will not admit to a murder I didn’t commit. He doesn’t get to die and leave me looking like a criminal.” I’d throw a “you go, girl” out there for that, but I think it would come off a bit too “Alex from Glee” sassy.

Aria comes in second this episode, after having found Wilden’s porn stash in his apartment: “They were just stacked on his night stand like ‘Hmm, what do I wanna watch tonight? Jimmy Kimmel or boobs?'” I’m a gay man, and even I would choose boobs.

Watching Ezra and the Vice Principal bitch slap each other with their own heinous unprofessionalism is adorable.

Byron shows some righteous outrage for Aria when she tells him about Connor’s boast. Aww.

Hanna does some signature forging on Ashely’s utilities cheques. She constantly impresses me.

Nigel is seen talking to someone who’s off-screen. He calls them “babe,” and they have feminine sunnies. Come on out, Cece.

Toby thinks the “blonde girl” his mum’s old doctor warned him about could have been Cece.

Oh, and I’m glad Hanna is consistently back to her fashionistard ways. She combines a few blasé at-home ensembles with this blinder of a mess. I gotta say, though, she is definitely rocking some good hair so far this season.

Pretty Little Liars Ashley in jail Hanna

“Not that. But dumping the orange was a good start.” -Ashley

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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