I Can’t Stop…Watching Miley Cyrus Parodies – Blog

We Can't Stop Bart Baker

Never stop.

By now you really should have gotten around to watching Miley Cyrus’ music video for her most recent single We Can’t Stop.

And as it literally is the most try-hard thing ever, it would be redundant of me to bother insulting it. Like, why would she even bother releasing a video with twerking after this had already come out?

Luckily, YouTube has taken care of that for me.

We Can't Stop Bart Baker sexy

It’s probably my aversion to vaginas talking, but whatever. He rocks it.

Bart Baker

This is definitely my favourite of the 3 I’ve seen. I’m not really a fan of most of his other parodies (the Scream & Shout one was pretty good, though. Probably because Britney is such a zoned out zombie that he didn’t need to be too crazy). And he definitely yells and overacts A LOT.

I hate this parody because he abuses autotune, which doesn’t have anything to do with the original; the Amanda Bynes reference is lazy (even if Shane Dawson pulls that shit off); and Joey Graceffa’s Australian accent is fucking atrocious. The whole YouTuber circlejerk can work sometimes, but it definitely feels insular and fanservice-y here.

You should watch it because Bart Baker’s overacting actually works as a comment on the original video; they really nail the tongue sticking out thing (which was so fucking annoying in the original); and the lyrics are included in subtitles. All parodies should do this.

Worst moment: Shanna Malcolm screeching her lines with her fake ghetto accent.

Best moment: “Miley” telling “Liam” to shut up and pour her more wine. I like to imagine it’s out of a box. I feel ya, girl.

Bonus points for including a line about heroin abuse. Awkward.


We Can't Stop Shane Dawson

She’s got the munchies.

Shane Dawson

I often find myself conflicted about liking Shane Dawson. He appears to be a decent comedic actor (outside of comedy? Not so much), but his “serious” ventures into music videos are just embarrassing.

Luckily, he’s barely in this one. Thank god for outsourcing.

I hate this parody because they praise Hannah Montana (did they watch Hannah Montana? God); the actress’s voice at the end is grating (she’s no Shanna, but, you know); and the singing is pretty sub-par.

You should watch it because her description of Miley is pretty accurate (Pink + Lady Gaga + Madonna, – talent); she gets slapped (it looks pretty real) with a burger; and she full-on butt gropes one of those black chicks.

Worst moment: the french fry skeleton joke at the end. I guess Shane Dawson needed to slip some of his trademark lameness in there.

Best moment: “And why are these teddy bears wearing sluts?”


We Can't Stop Key of Awesome Mount Slutmore

I just think it’s sweet that somebody think Paris Hilton is still relevant. #SimpleLife4Lyfe

The Key of Awesome

This one is the most disappointing of the lot. The Key of Awesome used to have the best, most pointed parodies out there. This one feels pretty phoned in.

I hate this parody because she tries poorly to replicate Miley’s accent; the Billy Ray stuff is unnecessary and is only there to give Mark something to do; and it’s the least critical (and if there’s one thing that I’m all about, it’s being way critical).

You should watch it because she describes herself as a “poor man’s Gaga” or an “albino Rihanna,” which couldn’t be more accurate; they have a very quick reference to No Bones (I totally bought the single on iTunes); and she very obviously points out her butt and cooch, which perfectly captures the message of the original.

Worst moment: the ermagherd, Goosebumps joke.

Best moment: the jumping shark.


But no matter which parody you like best, the important thing is: We Can’t Stop is catchy as fuck, even if it is soulless, vapid, awkward, and a complete mess of randumbness. I’m just glad I wasn’t a worldwide superstar when I was 17-21 years old. It’s not a good look for anyone.

Especially when you can afford to broadcast it.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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