Pretty Little Liars Season 4 Episode 4 – TV Review

Pretty Little Liars Spencer Aria film Melissa

“What? I’m only filming my sister without her knowing it. It’s not creepy.”

Hanna Fashionistard Counter:
This week is oui oui (you will see. Below).
Our count is now 2 Ew, 2 Ooh-la-la.

Well, it only took them 4 episodes, but we’re gettin’ some serious answers up in this one.

Courtesy of Melissa.

So, you know, maybe reserve your belief for now.

TL;DR At least they’re giving us something. Melissa explains a whole lotta deets about the lodge fire, Hanna is pretty sure Ashley killed Wilden, Emily’s swimming dreams are worse than ever.

And Aria is barely in it. So it’s good times all around.

Let’s plot these bitches:

It’s still the Hanna show (hell yeah). Hanna has some encounters with the po-po about Wilden’s death (the cute guy’s older, ballsier female partner is now in the picture, too). Ashley is really not looking good. Hanna tells her what Caleb learned from Tom, and Ashley doesn’t do a great job of denying it. So Hanna thinks she probs killed the dude.

Speaking of not denying murdering Wilden, Melissa pulls a similar thing. It’s probably the only thing she doesn’t spill her guts on. Spencer sets up a scheme to force her into admitting what she knows about the mask. It works. Very well. Meanwhile, Toby goes alone to see his mother’s doctor from her time at Radley.

Emily faces questioning from her parents about how she got her shoulder injury. Things are made worse when she finds out she may never swim again because of it. A keeps the Family Services pressure on.

And Aria acts mainly as pack mule for Spencer’s scheming this episode. She does have an awkward run-in with Malcolm while on a date with Jake, which leads to her telling Jake all about how she fucked her teacher. He slams on the brakes with their relationship. Good.

Really, the Melissa tell-all is reason enough to justify this episode’s existence.

I’m still not convinced that Ashley has it in her to cold-bloodedly murder Wilden (despite her past actions), though. Bitch needs to just fill Hanna the fuck in. She plays the “I’m protecting you” card to qualify her silence, but come on. You and Hanna have gotten through tough shit before. I think she’d be an asset.

Why I hate this episode:

Hanna would fight for you. Let her.

As happy as Jake’s backing off from Aria made me, he did it because Aria is still pining over Ezra. Oh my. Fucking. God. Get over him, already! It’s done. It’s finished. He has a son. He’s your teacher again. Nothing about this relationship fits, except for the Serena excuse of “I love him. That’s enough.” Love isn’t enough when you’ve had 3-and-a-bit seasons of bullshit to tell you otherwise. Hell, I’d be happy for her to start dating Lucas at this point. Just anyone except Ezra, please.

Why is Spencer hiding what she and Toby are looking into (his mum) from the other Liars? Did I miss something?

For someone who was utterly convinced that she and Emily would both magically get swimming scholarships to the same school, Paige takes the news of Emily’s possible no-swimming future very well. And is even supportive. Paige is starting to become simply a morality refuel for Emily whenever she’s feeling down. I miss Evil Paige. This happiness is gettin’ old.

Aria lies to Jake about her relationship with Ezra, then in the very next scene she has told him the full story. Like, literally the next scene. Awkward editing. Since when has Aria been able to decide to do (and actually do) anything without at least 12,000 episodes of contemplation?

The twist of Toby’s mum’s doctor being a patient at his new hospital was so obvious.

Emily has a painfully melodramatic running away scene after her parents badger her for the truth about her shoulder injury. Girl’s been taking lessons from the lesbians’ daughter on Under the Dome.

Caleb lies to the investigators to protect Ashley from being questioned. Yeah, it’s sweet, but it’s pointless. And lying to the police hasn’t gone so well for anyone on this show in the past.

Why does the mask maker just allow Melissa to barge into his shop, take her shit, and start smashing it and throwing it into the lake?

Oh, and the last scene before the stinger has Hanna thinking Ashley is Wilden’s killer. Then a kettle starts screeching… DRAMATICALLY. So stupid.

Reasons to watch:

On the other hand, that scene also involves A telling the Liars that Melissa hasn’t got the chutzpah to be Wilden’s killer. We’ll see.

Okay, so onto Melissa’s info spill. Here’s what we’ve got:

  • She was on the Halloween train in the same outfit as Wilden (similar to Mona’s story).
  • She saw Mona wearing the Alison mask, and went to Shana (because she worked at the costume shop) in search of answers.
  • This led her to the mask maker. He tells Aria that he has the Melissa mould because she made a mould-for-info deal, like Emily did last episode. We don’t know what she wanted to know/what he told her yet, though.
  • Melissa says she’s been protecting Spencer all along, even before everything started. This essentially confirms that A pre-dates the Liars.
  • Melissa says “we” were afraid of Wilden.
  • She enlisted Jenna and Shana to keep watch on the Liars when they went to the lodge in last season’s finale. She claims Wilden started the fire, but Red Coat did indeed save the Liars + Mona.
  • She doesn’t know who Red Coat is.
  • She says she didn’t try to hurt anyone on the Halloween train.
  • She doesn’t deny killing Wilden.
  • And she believes Alison is alive.

Wow. I don’t trust any of it, but wow.

Cute Cop’s partner is a no-nonsense biatch. She’s the first law enforcement officer who doesn’t seem to be untrustworthy. Which means she’ll probably be the most diabolical yet. Either way, I’ll be happy.

Spencer drops the no-college bomb on Veronica and Melissa. It goes hilariously badly. Melissa unexpectedly offers to pull some strings for her sister. I hope she does.

The cops go through Wilden’s safe deposit box and finds mountains of cash, 2 passports (1 USA, 1 Canadian) and a gun. Not surprising, but cool.

Spencer and Aria secretly film Melissa “finding” her mask mould. Spencer does condescending voice-over during it. Adorable.

Points to Jake for getting the fuck away from Aria. For now.

Best line goes to Hanna, who has mind her mind up about Ashley: “I will do whatever it takes to protecct my mother. I don’t care what she did.” See, Ashley? You need her on your team.

Hanna isn’t far behind with this second best effort. To Aria: “Is your mum really going to Austria with that Muffin Man?” I lol’d.

Toby’s mum’s doctor is bonkers, but during his delusion, he tells Toby to not let his mother interact with “that blonde girl.” It’s implied that somebody either pushed Mama Cavanaugh off the roof, or pressured her into it. Alison?

Alison appears in a flashback the mask maker has. Shortly before she disappeared she came to him, frantically demanding he pay her for the face mould. He gave her the cash and saw her being driven away by somebody. Hmm.

Oh, and Hanna has 3 outfits this episode, and I enjoyed them all. The standout would be the 1st one, which is below. The blouse has little cartoons of food on it. Hefty Hanna lives on. In fashion form.

Pretty Little Liars Hanna

I can only pray it’s temporary. Let’s not forget this.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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