Pretty Little Liars Season 4 Episode 3 – TV Review
Hanna Fashionistard Counter:
This week is a no-no (see below).
Our count is now 2 Spew, 1 Ooh.
Nothing really happens this week. Just putting it out there.
That’s what you get when Mona’s not around to be Asian and spicy.
TL;DR Ashley is looking more and more guilty, Melissa’s “suspicious cunt” gauge seems to have lost its dimmer switch, and Ella has relationship drama.
It’s a minor character parade. And we’re only in episode 3. Oh dear.
But hey, let’s see what our leads have been up to:
Hanna continues to snoop around in Ashley’s shit. She finds out Ashley is lying about what she was doing while in New York. Tension ensues. Elsewhere, Caleb finds out from Papa Marin that Ashley came to him the night of Wilden’s murder looking for money, and might have stolen his gun. Hanna also leads the Liars on a mission to a mask maker who tells of his creation for Alison. They also discover a Melissa mould in the back.
Speaking of Melissa, Melissa’s back in town. She and Spencer have the expected polite antagonism. Melissa doesn’t know how to be charming, does she? Spencer and Toby also infiltrate Radley in search of answers on Toby’s mum’s “suicide.” They deduce that things don’t add up.
Emily is still suffering from her shoulder injury. A heated moment with her mum winds the Fields’ up on the wrong side of Family Services (they think Pam-cakes is responsible for Emily’s recurring, unexplained injuries).
And Aria encourages Ella to go to Vienna with her coffee shop boytoy. Aria gets her relationship going with her latest teacher, Jake, too.
I’m gonna take a break from moaning about Ashley’s plot line (though I will get to it for a little while. I’m consistent) and complain about the lack of action this episode. This slack pacing is some middle-of-the-season shit. We’re only in episode 3 and already we’re resorting to minor character relationship drama for plot lines?
There’s even a brief scene dedicated to Caleb’s daddy drama (which you know I am not a proponent of). Fuck off, you guys.
I wanna see Hanna get up in some more grills.
Why I hate this episode:
Really, I’m all for Ella gettin’ on that marginally-younger dick, but fuck off with this plot line, PLL. Aria coming to accept her mum moving on with another dude is so dated. We don’t need more scenes showing how cool Aria is with Ella #yolo’ing it up. We get it. Move on.
Also, if fucking Jamie actually comes back into this show, I’ll be pissed. Both in anger terms, and in the slang term for being drunk.
While I like the Family Services plot line for its potential drama (and the fact that it’s not just another boyfriend/girlfriend rerun thread), I reckon Pam got a bit of a raw deal. Emily is kinda of a bratty skank, and she totally did steal those pills. And it’s not like Pam was bashing a toddler with a 2×4. All she did was roughly grab her late-teenage daughter by the arm. Damn you, civil libertarians. Get out of Rosewood and go back to tumblr.
Aria is totally going ahead with her impending boning of Jake. Ugh. Their “date” consists of them watching a black and white noir film. Because you’re just so special and unusual, aren’t you, Aria? God. Fucking hipster. Double demerit points for Jake validating her obnoxiousness. Who could ever care about an obnoxious hipster? They’re the worst kind of people.
The Melissa mask mould looks more like Jenna to me.
I still don’t care about the Toby’s mum stuff.
Mona isn’t in this episode.
Oh, and Ashley is looking so fucking guilty RE killing Wilden. She better turn out to be a red herring, or have an amazing reason for killing him. I just can’t see Ashley doing it. It’s absurd.
Reasons to watch:
On the other hand, we do get some juicy deets about what shit might have gone down. The fact that Ashley went running to Tom (Papa Marin) for money, then (maybe) stole his gun upon being denied is pretty badass. If Ashley’s gonna be a cold-blooded murderer, she should also be the most fabulous at it. She’s off to a good start.
And hats off to Caleb, who apart from the occasional computer deus ex machina stuff, has been rarely useful. This episode he gets shit done.
Getting shit done is also Hanna’s thing. She’s the one who is the most zealous about hounding the mask maker. And she’s the one who pokes around the back room and finds the Melissa mould. And she snoops around the police station, discovering the evidence board for Wilden’s murder, which includes pretty much every main character. #blondepower.
There’s a moment when Ashley is in the bathroom alone, looking like she’s trying not to burst into tears. Baby, don’t cry. I’ll comfort you.
I felt bad for Pam, too. Bitch is just trying to keep her drug-addled, liar of a daughter under control.
Melissa acts all kinds of suss. Hanna sees her being questioned by that new cop guy. She’s as awkwardly hostile with Spencer as ever, as well. She poses the question Spencer once asked of her: if you had to choose between me and someone else who you loved, who would you protect? Spencer is not seen to give her answer. Can you feel the sisterly love?
Best line goes to Aria during a coffee shop stop with Jake. He’s bringing her the drink she ordered:
Jake: “Decaf, non-fat, iced mocha. That’s pretty much a glass of chocolate milk, right?”
Aria: “Yeah, pretty much. But you feel more grown up when you order it.”
Hey, at least she’s not a coffee snob hipster. There’s no coming back from that.
The mask maker says Emily would be great for a Medusa design he’s working on. I lol’d.
He then bargains info on the Alison mask for Emily modeling. He tells the Liars that Alison ordered a number of masks and he destroyed the mould at her instruction afterwards. Hmm.
Ella’s gettin’ some dick AND a European holiday. I’m jealous.
Oh, and as promised, here is Hanna’s fashion faux pas of the week. This t-shirt doesn’t really get there. It’s just like: why? The episode is called “Cat’s Cradle,” so I guess it’s a reference to that? Weird.