Hanna Marin: Fashionistard – Blog

Hanna Marin Fashionistard

Strike a pose.

You know? As in “fashionista” mixed with “retard.”

What? I’ve used portmanteaus before.

Because I’m as classy as a French person, and only twice as rude.

If you’ve been keeping up with my Pretty Little Liars reviews (if you haven’t, then educate yourself, dammit), you’ll know I have a certain something for Hanna’s sartorial choices.

In fact, I include a snapshot of one in every single review.

I do this for 2 reasons: 1) Hanna is my favourite Liar, so it’s nice to guarantee at least one shot of her each episode. And 2) some of the shit they put her in is fucking weird.

Don’t believe me? Let’s take an episode-by-episode look at her style record from season 3:

So if you count that up, that’s 19 Ews to 5 Passes. Yeah, Hanna’s got a problem.

But why did it all go so wrong? The other 3 Liars have such simple and defined styles. Aria’s the alterna-chick (though I don’t miss those fucking coloured hair extensions), Spencer is the prep, and Emily usually wears simple-yet-sexy clothes.

Meanwhile, poor Hanna just seems to have whatever the costuming department couldn’t find a use for just vomited onto her (and occasionally recylced on Revenge). I just wish she’d find some kind of consistency. Even ol’ Serena, while being a hilarious victim of trends, figured out that she always had to pop the tits. Hanna needs to find a unifying theme or accent to inform her outfits. Not just random trash.

Looking back at season 3, I was most alarmed when that 80s influence started creeping in. Yeah, neon nail polish is cute, but collared, white shirts with leather jackets are fucking not. Her episode 21 effort was easily the most WTF of the season.

If I had to choose my favourite, I’d obviously have to go with her Marilyn outfit. Fitted her perfectly. But since every episode isn’t the Halloween special, I think I’ll give praise to her blouse from episode 24. It’s probably the only thing she wore that season that felt unique from the other liars, but wasn’t also a goddamn mess.

Things seem to be looking up, though. As of 2 episodes into season 4, Hanna’s gone 50/50 with her style blunders. Which is why I’m introducing a new feature into my PLL reviews (and retroactively adding it to the previous 2. Because this is the Internet, bitches, and if I can edit my opinion, I damn well will): the Hanna Fashionistard Counter!

That way you won’t have to laboriously go back through every post to keep track of her. Because I just had to do that to write this blog, and it was crap.

I Just Hate Everything: making criticism lazy.

It’s what I’m here for.

Pretty Little Liars Hanna fringe dress

Fringe dress: the fuck-up that started it all.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

39 responses to “Hanna Marin: Fashionistard – Blog”

  1. sarahkinmont says :

    You are retarded, blind as a fucking bat and a rude bitch. “Hannah is my favourite character” nek minit, slam everything she wears. You obviously have no sense of style and a personality as unlikeable as a fucking troll. Keep your opinions to yourself, you grotty whore bag bitch.

  2. Anonymous says :

    you have no life

  3. Anonymous says :

    You obviously have bad taste. Not trying to be rude but Hanna’s fashion sense is amazing. Using the word “ew” to describe everything she wears is just plain dumb. Read a magazine for once and “educate” yourself on amazing, high end fashion. Everything Hanna wears is frickin awesome so back the HELL off!

    • Anonymous says :

      BTW I know I sound really mean and rude in the last comment, and don’t get me wrong, I understand everyone has their own opinion, I just don’t think you should be downing Hanna’s fashion sense, especially when lots of girls look up to her and want to dress like her. Please don’t be offended, but 99% of girls disagree with your statements about Hanna’s style being “ew”. I think she always looks fab.

    • ijusthateeverything says :

      High fashion wouldn’t be high fashion if it wasn’t polarising.

    • Anonymous says :

      Hahahaha. No. They’re heinous.

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