DJ, Spin-off That Shit – Blog
Yes, this post has a terrible title.
It was that or I was going to try to work with the lyrics to that Ke$ha-before-she-was-Ke$ha song, so count yourself lucky.
Basically, I just want to take a moment to pre-judge the upcoming spin-offs of 3 of my top 5 shows from the last year.
Not from Glee, thank fuck.
Also not from Gossip Girl, unfortunately.
Spin-off of: Pretty Little Liars
Of the 3, this is the one we probably know the least about (because one of the others has a trailer, and the other has already technically had an episode). This one’s gonna start airing in October, after the PLL Halloween episode. So it’s gonna be a bit of a wait.
The plot seems to be something along the lines of blah blah blah teen angst blah blah mysterious curse blah blah blah everyone is young and pretty. It all souds very The Secret Circle-ish, which is definitely not a good thing.
I’m especially worried about the supernatural element. Mainly because I don’t want that cross-infecting back into PLL and making every little mystery have a “because supernatural” clause attached to it. No, ABC Family. No.
I already hate this because seriously, supernatural? Really? And I haven’t seen a trailer or anything yet.
I’m keen because PLL really hasn’t made any disastrous slip-ups yet. Yes, the author’s other series, The Lying Game, was boring trash (though I only made it about 5 episodes in. If anyone trudged on, maybe let me know how it’s going?), but I’ll give this a go. If only for the pretty people.
Spin-off of: The Vampire Diaries
This is the one we know the most about. Because, you know, it kind of already started in season 4 episode 20 of its parent show. But it won’t officially begin until October, either. Boo.
If you’ve watched the backdoor pilot episode, you’ll already have a good idea of the plot. Klaus and Elijah are going to take back New Orleans from some hot black vampire dude named Marcel. Rebekah is also apparently going to be around, but she didn’t do much in the episode already aired. Hayley is prego with some messiah baby. And Fucking Jessica from Sorority Row is a hot bartender.
I already hate this because the only thing Klaus fucking needs is his own show, isn’t it? Because more Klaus is exactly what we were missing. And Phoebe Tonkin already tainted one spin-off (I consider The Secret Circle a spin-off). It’s gonna happen again. And Klaus better not fucking keep pining for Caroline. God.
I’m keen because Rebekah might finally be a bona fide lead character. Yay. And Elijah is classy as fuck, so maybe he and Rebekah can drown out Klaus’ petulance and whingeing. Marcel is sexy as fuck and can sing. And Fucking Jessica.
Spin-off of: Once Upon a Time
I only found out about this one last night through a friend. I’ve gotta find a decent news outlet for this kinda thing (I’ve been trawling for a worthwhile tv news subreddit, but to no avail). Not too much to go on right now, but the trailer is very good. It’s going to start airing in Fall (Spring for me. ‘Straya cunt), which I guess means any time in September, October and November.
The plot will feature Alice (duh. Alice in Wonderland? You get it) and will show that Regina’s curse did indeed affect other lands. There’ll be bullshit, obligatory romance yada yada yada. I think it’s gonna follow the same format as Once Upon a Time (ie. present day/flashback intercuts). And there will be crossovers.
I already hate this because the last time Alice in Wonderland was a thing, it was a very bad thing (thanks, Tim Burton). Like, really bad. Unfortunately, Burton’s abortion of a movie is still pretty fresh in people’s minds and, from what I’ve gleaned in my own experience, has a decent fanbase. So I can already see everyone bitching and comparing them. And the trailer is already overflowing with CGI bullshit (not Once Upon a Time’s strong suit, either).
I’m keen because Cora is gonna be back (bitches). And Sophie Lowe is Alice. Unlike Mia Boring-kowska, Sophie appears to have the ability to emote and exist as more than a prop. And she’s Australian (Mia is, too. But I like to pretend she isn’t. For my country’s pride). And ABC has proven its ability to grow Once Upon a Time into something great, so I can only hope Wonderland will continue that.
Oh, and I can’t miss this opportunity: fuck Alice in Wonderland (the Burton version). When Once Upon a Time in Wonderland starts, I guess I’ll have plenty of chances to say how much I hate that movie. Good.