Hitchcock – CBF Review

Hitchcock film Helen Mirren Anthony Hopkins ending

It feels good, basically. You get it.

I actually kind of a little bit really loved Hitchcock.

The cast is ridiculously amazing, and the main characters are funny and relatable (not all biopics are born equal, are they?).

So instead of writing a mooning love letter, I’m gonna do a Compliance and just sum this shit up. Save you the saccharine.

Besides, I already puked out over 1000 words on The fucking Apparition today. I’ve earned this.

Hitchcock is a biopic that revolves around the time of Alfred Hitchcock’s (a sublime, not even kidding, Anthony Hopkins) life when he made Psycho. He faces resistance from studios who just want him to pump out money-spinning drivel, and the increasing tension with his wife (Helen Mirren: perfection). ScarJo turns up as Psycho’s leading lady Janet Leigh, Jessica “I’m too beautiful to work” Biel puts aside her vanity to appear as Vera Miles, Toni Collette is his secretary, and Danny Huston has a subplot where he’s trying to adulterate all over Helen. After some trials and soul-searching, Hitch and his wife eventually take care of business and release their masterpiece. Together.


I hate this movie because it doesn’t really go anywhere or have anything particular to say (it’s pretty much just “here’s Alfred Hitchcock’s life over a little bit of time. That is all”); there’s a recurring thing where Hitch sees apparitions of Ed Gein (who Norman Bates was inspired by) talking to him and shit. They don’t fit at all; and it’s not clear how obvious Helen’s affair with Danny is (at a couple points it seems as if it might as well be public knowledge, then Hitch later flips shit when he “finds out” about it. Huh?).

You should watch because it is gleefully fun, which is fucking nice in a biopic; the cast is seriously incredible (Anthony Hopkins. Omg, Anthony Hopkins. The scene where his frustrations finally explode and he terrifies Janet while showing the cast how to do the shower scene is just magical); and in a scene apparently stolen from my life, Hitch binge eats out of spite and sorrow one night (he subsequently has wine for breakfast. This is how life should be all the time).

Verdict: 4 out of 5 stars.

Such fabulosity. Even if he is a bit fat.

Hitchcock film Anthony Hopkins crow The Birds

Hitch isn’t a proponent of the raw food diet.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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