TV Review: Bates Motel Season 1 Episode 9

Bates Motel Jake Vera Norma

90s slasher movie trivia will save you every time.

Being in the cab of a truck is fucking dangerous in this show, hey?

TL;DR Creepy Guy ain’t kidding around, Dylan bonds with an emotional Bradley, Vera has tension with Norman over wanting to move away, and Norman has sexual tension with his teacher.

Norman likes his ladies older.

The plot is pretty Vera-heavy this week. Following on from finding Shelby’s corpse in her bed, she’s kinda on edge about Creepy Guy’s threat. The Sheriff proves to be ambivalent, so she begins researching safer cities to live in. She also busts her real estate agent’s balls about getting her goddamn money back. And she’s finding the pot smoking of Dylan’s guests at the motel irritating. Luck’s just not on her side. The real estate agent tells her that he can’t help her and there’s no point in suing him. Just when all looks awful, Creepy Guy (whose Name is, maybe, Jake Abernathy. But I like calling him Creepy Guy, so I’m gonna roll with it) attacks her in her car (see above): Shelby owes him $150,000 and he thinks Vera has it. Uh oh. Meanwhile, Norman is praised by his teacher for a short story. Norman has a fight with Vera because he doesn’t want to leave town, so decides not to bother her with getting permission to publish it. He also dreams of drowning Bradley. Meanwhile, Dylan sneaks Bradley into her dad’s old office. And Emma is hit on by a cute pot trimmer hippie.

Nothing like an oxygen tank to get all the guys.

Yeah, it’s another episode that’s light on the action. But there’s only 1 more episode to go for the season, and I’ll give Bates Motel (having had only 1 major hiccup) enough faith to pull through.

I mean, if fucking Revenge can do it, Bates Motel certainly can.

I just hate that I have to wait.

Why I hate this episode:

I’m still finding the idea that a bunch of hippies, who are shown to be very liberal users of pot, would be suitable workers for an important pot harvest. They’ve gotta be stealing that shit. Come on.

Norman’s insistence that they don’t move kinda has no basis. He’s fallen out with Bradley, has no interest in Emma, and the only thing he says he wants to stay for is the school. Unless he really wants to get with his teacher (which I think he’s indifferent to), he has no real reason to want to stay as badly as he does.

And I’m with Vera on the moving away thing. The motel is gonna be made irrelevant by the bypass, the town ignores her, and it looks like she’s figured out what the growing (ah ha! Because weed is a plant?) industry is. I just wish someone would back her up.

Though she’s not right all the time. She acts like a super paranoid bitch to the Sheriff after getting some mildly ominous flowers. She is proven right (see image above), but she’s not a great communicator.

Dylan misses a prime opportunity to hook in with Bradley after they leave her dad’s office. Love triangles give series longevity. Hasn’t he watched Twilight?

Likewise, Norman’s teacher misses her chance to slobber up on him. She even plays the “you’re such an old soul” card to justify her impending paedophilia. Get on with it, girl.

Oh, and I was convinced that Bradley must have had an ulterior motive for wanting to see her dad’s office. But apparently not. What happened to you, Brad? I thought you were cool.

Reasons to watch:

Vera gets more boss points every week. She lays the law down on the hippies like a mad woman. And it works (temporarily). She’s also quite willing to stand up to the Sheriff, and she doesn’t pull any punches with her real estate agent (well, doesn’t pull any purse whacks).

Norman’s psychotic side breaks a little freer this episode. He has the dream about drowning Bradley. Later, when they pass each other in the hallway at school, he smiles to himself. Which obviously means he’s comforted by the thought of killing her. What? I can read into things.

Dylan and Bradley make a pretty cool team. If the age difference wasn’t so yucky, I’d be happy to ship them. Oh, who cares. I ship them.

Emma flirts with a cute-ass hippie guy. He later leaves her a pot cupcake, which she eats and gets stoned on. She also makes a joke about how him having a cigarette around her could blow her up, on account of her oxygen tank. I lol’d.

Creepy Guy wants his money in 24 hours. Vera agrees to his request (under duress, obv). So does she have a plan? Intrigue.

Norman brings the stuffed dog home, and Dylan gets second best line with his reaction: “That’s just weird, dude.” Someone had to say it (Vera just poorly feigned interest in it).

Best line of the episode goes to Vera, who is telling Norman that their motel experience could get them jobs in Hawaii:
Norman: “We’ve been open 3 days.”
Vera: “So? They don’t have to know that.”
Dat unscrupulousness.

Bradley finds love letters written to her father from someone who signs “B.” And assuming they’re not from Bradley, I wonder who they’re from? I don’t think any of our other main characters have names starting with B (though, as you may have noticed, I don’t always call them by their real names, so that doesn’t help).

The real estate agent tells Vera to go ahead and sue him: he’s $30,000 in debt and lives with his girlfriend. I lol’d.

Norman calls Vera crazy during their argument. It gets a predictably bad response.

Oh, and Vera goes from fighting with Norman to sleeping with him. No sex yet, but you never know.

Bates Motel Norma Norman incest sleep in same bed

This is the incest you are looking for.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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