Film Review: The Collection

The Collection Collector mask

If you’re gonna make it in the competitive world of horror movie villains, you’ve gotta be practical.

On the one hand, the gore in this one is even more fabulous and brutal than its predecessor.

On the other hand, the story isn’t as constrained and melodramatic.

So that’s 2 good hands?

That doesn’t sound like me.

TL;DR The Collection is amazingly violent and corny, but that’s exactly what it needed to be. From start to finish, it’s relentlessly genre-fabulous. The foreboding carefulness of The Collector is lost in the process, though. 4 out of 5 stars.

Multiple 4 star reviews in the same day? Believe it.

So the plot is a ridiculous piece of garbage. So it’s perfect. Following on from his capture at the end of The Collector, Arkin is used as box bait in a sublime nightclub massacre. He escapes, but some rich girl is taken as the next box person. Arkin is hired/forced to help a team assembled by the girl’s father track the Collector back to his HQ and rescue her. Gore ensues. Arkin and the girl eventually escape, as does the Collector.

In the stinger, Arkin finds the Collector and boxes him up. Sequel, plz.

I was considering this as an It’s Not Shit, but I just did a horror sequel one of those. And honestly, I’m not surprised that this worked out as well as it did (thankfully, a different story than another of Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan’s horror sequels). I expected Silent Hill: Revelation to be a disaster. I expected The Collection to be gore-riffic. And it was.

The only major blemish on The Collection is the loss of atmosphere from the first movie. Arkin’s attempts to traverse the booby-trapped mansion were tense as hell, and much more classic horror. This time around the Collector knows who is there, where they are, and essentially just launches trap after trap at them until it’s over.

But hey, it’s a sequel.

Why I hate this movie:

I also didn’t give anything close to a fuck about Elena (the rich daughter girl). Her haircut was the only memorable thing about her. I didn’t see why all these people should be risking their lives to save one bitch.

Arkin especially. It was super frustrating that he was being forced to endure all this shit again just for Elena. He’s a horror movie survivor. Give him some respect.

Everyone bitches at Arkin for not saving Elena before the Collector could snatch her at the nightclub. Umm, Arkin was horribly injured and could barely get out himself. Dude can’t catch a break, can he?

The opening scenes see Elena, her blonde friend and that friend’s brother go to a dingy nightclub in a back alley that requires a password to enter. Don’t you guys watch horror movies? Have you not seen Hostel 3? Dingy, back alley nightclubs are a guaranteed deathwish. I’m getting tired of seeing young people act this dumb. Just go to a normal nightclub.

The movie tries to build some emotional backstory between Elena and the leader of the rescue team, who is her father’s security guy or something. There’s even a supposedly important flashback to a car crash he saved her from when she was 9. It doesn’t work. It just comes across as awkward and hokey.

Elena drops her hearing aid inconveniently onto the trigger of a bear trap (they’re back, bitches). Instead of forging ahead through her adversity, she fuckings risks it to get it back. What the hell?

Oh, and the girl member of the rescue team gets billed in the closing credits way after the male members who died much earlier than her. Sexist.

Reasons to watch:

The gore. Would you expect any less from Melton and Dunstan?

The nightclub scene is literally fantastic. From the thresher splattering most of the dance floor, to the lowering ceiling/grating that crushes/mashes a whole lotta people. Holy shit, it’s good. And I actually felt bad for blonde friend when she got crushed/mashed.

To escape the nightclub, Arkin grabs a body and uses it to ram a window and lands on it to break his fall. Smart.

The Collector is a sick motherfucker. The abandoned hotel that is his base is pretty crazy. The highlight would be the hordes of deranged, zombie-esque people he has on hand. He fucks their brains with drugs and staples other victims’ faces onto their faces. Yummy.

A couple of the notable kills include the Makeup Girl (a fellow victim that the Collector has a thing for), who gets iron maidened. Bonus points for it happening after she tried to rat the group out. And a member of the team is impaled by downward shooting spike poles, which leave him standing after being killed. How insulting. I love it.

During his final fight with the Collector at the hotel, Arkin is stabbed through his mouth: in one cheek and out the other. This is awesome.

After defeating the Collector, Arkin is trapped by flaming debris (the Collector has set the hotel on fire to hide evidence). Intead of fleeing to imminent safety, Elena smashes some display tanks to put out the fire and rescue him. Aww. Maybe she wasn’t so useless after all.

Both Elena and Arkin display some excellent lock-opening skills. To escape her inital boxing, Elena uses her bra wire to pull open a lock. Later, when Elena, Arkin and the girl team member are stuck in a cage, Arkin has Elena break his arm (well, re-break. He broke it escaping from the nightclub) so he can reach a lock. Fuck, man.

With 2 bullets left, Arkin shoots a hobo through a hole in a wall. This brings in a cop car and ambulance. Arkin uses the other bullet to shoot the cop car, which causes the hotel to be swarmed by SWAT etc. That’s some smart shit.

The movie is only 78 minutes long. See? It can be done.

Oh, and Arkin’s capture of the Collector (and, hopefully, the excellence of this movie) makes a sequel look pretty promising.


It’s just gore and craziness. Which is what it needed to be. The story is pretty bare bones and the atmosphere is vastly different to the first one, but Arkin is still a cool, capable hero. So it’s a little bit shit, but mostly great. 4 out of 5 stars.

The Collection Arkin cheek stab

Be jealous, Scream 4.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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