TV Review: Glee Season 4 Episode 22

Glee Alex Wade Unique Katie catfish

Glee doesn’t understand the concept of a “surprise.”

It should come as no surprise (do you see what I did there?) that an episode titled after the 2nd Bring It On sequel should be this lacklustre.

But hey, at least Kurt doesn’t get any songs.

It’s a consolation prize I can live with.

TL;DR New Directions win Regionals. Duh. Alex is “Katie” (see above). Brittany is accepted into MIT. Rachel gets shunted out of focus.

And they ruin Icona Pop’s I Love It. But again, that should come as no surprise to you.

So our plot sees Regionals finally happening. But not before 2 “important” glee club members quit (but don’t). Brittany is identified as book-dumb but accidentally brilliant, and is accepted into early admission for MIT. For some reason this causes her to be an absolute cunt to everyone. Sam calls in Santana to calm that bitch down. She does, but Brittany is still leaving McKinley. Aww. Meanwhile, Blake finally learns who “Katie” is: Alex. Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (totally picked it. Because obvious). He flips shit, but agrees to doing Regionals and will be quitting after. Nothing of value will be lost. Meanwhile, Blaine gets some proposal advice from some old lesbians (but hasn’t gone through with it. Yet). Meanwhile, Will and Emma finally get married. And over in New York, Rachel performs her final callback audition for Funny Girl. The thread is left hanging, though.

A travesty.

You know, on the whole (and being generous, because this is Glee) it wasn’t a particularly bad episode. It is sad to see Brittany going. And Blake/Alex’s subplot isn’t given enough time to be frustrating, and neither is the Blaine proposal one.

But the Regionals competition has never felt more arbitrary. Nobody even really cares about it. It’s kind of just a thing everyone happens to be doing. And they’re clearly going to win, otherwise they’d have nowhere to go next season.

And that Jessica Sanchez chick pretty much busted a lung while nailing her songs, and she still lost. Rude.

Why I hate this episode:

The other team at Regionals is just a black & white photocopy of the Warblers: all male, private school, a cappella. The only thing they were missing was the violent bullying and bizarre sexual tension. Which were the only worthwhile things about the Warblers. Sad.

Who cares about Regionals?

Brittany’s plot line is taking the “cute” aspect of Glee’s hyperboles into just offensive retard territory. This is a show that is supposed to preach social messages through “real” situations. You can’t have Alex’s painful confession of unrequited love, the lesbians’ marriage proposal, and Brittany being declared the greatest scientific mind since Einstein in the same episode. Choose a side, Glee.

Speaking of the lesbians, this is yet another chance for Glee to make yet another play at gay suffrage. We fucking get it. Being gay was hard. Being gay is hard. At least they kept it short this time (and Kurt oddly silent).

And Blaine is obviously itching to go into a didactic rant when he proclaims his soon-to-be fiancé is a boy (the horror!) to the woman at the shop (before he knows her story). You can see the disappointment when it gets shut out. Kurt has evidently taught him well.

Blake’s blow-up about needing to find out who “Katie” is doesn’t really make sense. He whinges about how mean it is that the joke, if that’s what it is, kept going for so long. Umm, you’re the one who continued chatting to “Katie” even though you knew she was fake (and had Kitty basically gagging for you). Shutup.

Marley covers for Alex, too. Ew.

Alex plays the “it was still me behind that text box. Just try to forget about the horrifying deception and identity theft, K?” card. Blake apparently has some dignity left and disowns Alex. Tee hee.

None of the Regionals judges are celebrities. They ain’t no Lindsay and Perez.

Their version of I Love It sounds like it belongs on a Kidz Bop reject pile.

Kitty’s Regionals hair looks like shit.

Where the hell is Quinn? Mercedes and Mike are still around for some reason.

Oh, and Marley slips in another one of her original songs for the Regionals set. It’s vague and about the future and chasing your dreams. All or Nothing? Definitely nothing.

Reasons to watch:

Much like I did with TVD, I’ll congratulate Glee on making it into my Top 5 TV Shows of the Past Year. If there was rankings based on how much fun a show is to hate, Glee would never not be number 1.

Some of the melodrama this episode goes over well enough. Brittany’s tearful goodbye speech to everyone feels genuine. Who knew Heather Morris could emote?

Despite being a deceptive fuckhead, Alex’s predicament seems slightly sympathetic. Though I was very glad when Blake disowned him. What did Alex expect?

Fondue for Two is back multiple times. Lord Tubbington is apparently a stickler for continuity when he does the editing.

Blaine goes to Sam for advice with his proposal. When Sam says it’s a bad idea, Blaine throws Sam’s own sorta-wedding in his face. Boom!

In fact, Sam picks up third best line this episode in that scene with an entirely appropriate response: “Dude, we’re in high school.” Nobody else (not even the old lesbians) seem to agree with him, though.

Blake’s line, second best of the episode, would have fit nicely with that. The context, however, is his spaz out when wanting to discover who “Katie” is: “What’s wrong with you people!” Blake is the emo king.

And Sam sneaks in again for best line when explaining that he is not the proposee (is that a word?) of Blaine’s: “I mean, he wants to do me, but we’re just friends.” As much as I’d hate Blaine getting something he wants, I’d be happy with that fanservice.

Sugar’s back. Hot.

During her cunt phase, Brittany calls Marley’s song a “turd.” Because it is.

Will and Emma are finally (FUCKING FINALLY) married.

The old lesbians’ proposal was sho shweet.

Jessica Sanchez’s club’s rendition of Wings was better than Little Mix’s. Mainly because I don’t care for Little Mix. There’s only room for 3 UK girl groups in my heart (4 if you count both factions of the Sugababes. Which, as a purist, I guess I do. Okay, 4).

Santana’s hair looks good.

Oh, and Rachel sings the crap out of her callback song. Resolution, plz.

Glee Rachel Funny Girl callback finale

It isn’t fair.


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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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