TV Review: The Vampire Diaries Season 4 Episode 22

The Vampire Diaries Katherine The Walking Dead

Ikr, K-dizzle.

Well, that character is dead.

No, not Katherine (don’t you EVER even think about doing that, TVD), that character whose demise I’ve been banging on about all season.

You know the one.

Come on, don’t make me spoil it for you.

TL;DR Too bad! It’s Bonnie. Can you believe it? At long last. Yeah, magic bullshit is gonna get in the way of things, but let me just enjoy this.

Because it really is that enjoyable.

Before we get to that, let’s look at the rest of this episode’s plot. Elena’s got her emotions back and is still lusting after Katherine’s violent death. Too bad Katherine is chained to Bonnie all episode while she drops the veil to ask Qetsiyah for help in defeating Silas. All our main cast mount a search for The Witch and the Bitch. Bonnie drops the veil just as they reach her, but Silas is hiding among them. Bonnie spends the rest of the episode getting bitched at by him before finally mustering all her deus ex machina magic and turning him to stone. And then she dies. Fuck yeah. Meanwhile, Stefan manages to dissuade Elena from killing Katherine. She mopes around until Kol tries to kill her (the veil is down, remember?), but Jeremy saves her. Aww. Meanwhile, Rebekah and Matt continue to flirt, Alaric has some bro time with Damon (who ends up in possession of the cure), and Bonnie’s attempt to keep Jeremy for good (which is what kills her) accidentally drops the crap out of the veil completely, bringing Alexander, Connor and Gay into town.

And considering next week is the season finale, presumably a whole bunch of other cameos.

I actually can’t believe how smoothly this episode went. Even Matt and Rebekah’s ongoing struggle to inject life into their rotted corpse of a romance was tolerable. Fuck.

The only real problem was how stupidly easy it was for Bonnie to defeat Silas. All she needed was a pep talk from her dead grandmother and bam! He’s stone.

I want to hope that what she did to him proves temporary just so Bonnie doesn’t become even more of a plot pandering piece of shit, but that would involve me wishing for more Silas.

Which I don’t want to do either.

Life’s not always fair, you know?

Why I hate this episode:

I’m gonna show my Australian-ness here, but what the hell are those graduation card things? You passed high school, so all your friends and relatives are obligated to give you money? What?

Part of the chained heat spell that Bonnie uses on Katherine is that what happens to one happens to the other. Which shoots down Katherine’s suggestion of just killing Bonnie. Boo. At least Bonnie takes care of that herself later.

Elena, while keeping her garbage to a minimum, doesn’t come out of her transformation back into emotions without being a bit of cunt. She tells Rebekah that their “friendship” was only a result of the emotion switch. Rude.

She’s also back in her eternal indecision about which Salvatore she wants to fuck. Great. She’s leaning towards Stefan this episode, fyi.

Stefan has a big speech to Elena about how grief and loss are part of being an immortal blood monster. Really, TVD? 4 seasons in and you still think we need to cover this? We get it, okay?

When Alaric is trying to prove to Damon that he’s not Silas in disguise, he uses their shared knowledge of Locker 42 (it has booze in it) to prove it’s the real him. Bitch, Silas is able to project himself as other people to you precisely because he can get inside your mind and read your thoughts etc. So that didn’t prove anything.

Grams consents to Bonnie using dark magic to defeat Silas. Woman, you ain’t got no consistency.

Why isn’t anyone bothered by all these high school students getting drunk in a public bar? Compulsion ex machina? Or the Gossip Girl version: no excuse at all?

Rebekah is in some serious fucking trouble, as Alexander, Connor and Gay surround her (and Matt. But he’s not a vampire). Rude.

Oh, and fucking Alaric is the only one who thinks of pinching the cure off Silas’s petrified body. Priorities, people.

Reasons to watch:

Almost everything is handled surprisingly subtly. They’re probably just delaying the serious melodrama into next week’s season finale, but for this episode, I’m impressed.

The cameos don’t flood in and spoil the plot. There’s really only Alaric, Kol and Jeremy, who are genuinely valuable to the plot lines. They’re also not overflowing with emotion. Alaric and Damon kinda just pick up where they left off, Elena is glad to see Jeremy but doesn’t overdo it, and nobody really seems to care that Kol is back. Cool.

Elena plays the Grey’s Anatomy-esque “I can’t, I can’t” card again, but is quickly interrupted by Kol bashing the shit out of her. That’s what you get.

Caroline asks Elena if she was being truthful when she said all those amazingly horrible things to her last episode. Elena doesn’t say yes, but she sure as hell doesn’t say no. Oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

While my eyes were originally rolling at the “omg, the high school is in the centre of the expression triangle. Golly gosh!” thing, it was subverted when it turned out the centre was actually in the catacombs/tunnels/caves beneath it. Good.

Bonnie’s chained heat plan is delightful for 2 reasons: 1) Katherine gets to grump about it. Katherine complaining about things is the closest you’ll get to hearing me talk. And 2) when Elena starts attacking Katherine, Bonnie receives the same injuries. And a Bonnie in pain is a Bonnie I want. But not as much as I want a dead Bonnie. Thanks, TVD.

There’s a loose thread about hospital patients being attacked and drained of their blood. Intrigue.

Best line goes to Elena. Yeah, I had to take it out of context, but IDGAF: “I don’t care about Bonnie.” Contextually irrelevant burn, bitch!

Caroline is close behind with her reaction to being slapped by Rebekah out of her Silas-induced hallucination: “Bitch!” Blonde catfight, anyone?

Lexi turns up to say hello to Stefan. She notes the growing partnership between he and Caroline. Could we have a shipper on deck?

I’d like to congratulate The Vampire Diaries on making my list of Top 5 TV Shows of the Past Year. If it had been ranked, Bonnie’s death would have made you an easy number 1.

Oh, and hey, Bonnie’s dead. I am resigned to it being temporary, but I just wanna feel this moment.

The Vampire Diaries Bonnie dead

I’d say I take no pleasure in how pathetically easy that pun was, but I’d be lying. And I wouldn’t lie to you.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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