Best Of: The Top 5 Movies of the Past Year (For Whatever Reason)

Best of Movies 2012-13

Can you believe it’s already been a whole year since I Just Hate Everything came to you in full, bile-covered splendour on May 7 2012?

So, I guess I better do some list thing.

Just a couple of things you should know:

I am including any movies I reviewed in the past year. Even if its release was earlier than May 7 2012.

As you would have noticed in the title, these aren’t necessarily the best movies of the past year, nor are they necessarily my favourite. I’ll tell you why I chose them, though.

They are in no particular order. Because bias is reprehensible, and I would never be so one-sided.

Oh, and I will be posting one of these lists for TV shows, too. So stop fucking panicking.

Okay, so I’d like to get the honourable mentions out of the way first:

That’s enough. Let the flashbacks begin.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower Nothing Hates U

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

My rating: 5 out of 5 stars.

I certainly didn’t hate this emotionally affecting coming of age movie. Yes, it’s teenage drivel, but goddamn, it plucked my heart strings. And I didn’t even know I had any.

I’m picking this movie because it was honestly my favourite movie of the last year. I know I said that these entries wouldn’t necessarily be my favourites, but this one is. It really is.

Bring on Percy Jackson 2.

Rosewood Lane basement

Rosewood Lane

My rating: 1 out of 5 stars.

It turned out that reviewing Rosewood Lane was an excellent idea. It’s a shame that it was one of my very early reviews, and thus shabbily put together and probably too scornful (calling Rose McGowan a “bleeding arsehole” wasn’t my finest hour. Or was it?).

I’m picking this movie because it not only is one of the most consistently viewed (and I’m not the only one who picked out the goddamn Sydney Harbour Bridge being used as a stock shot) reviews on I Just Hate Everything, but it’s also the review that has generated the most intelligent discussion.

And don’t worry, Rose is looking better these days.

Sorority Row Audrina

Sorority Row

My rating: 5 out of 5 stars.

This one should deserve to be here the least. You know, because it was released in fucking 2009. But I watched it this year, and I reviewed it, and it’s just a goddamn sassy ass slasher movie that knows exactly what it’s doing. It’s fantastic, and if you haven’t watched it, then you’ve wasted 4 years of your life.

I’m picking this movie because it’s the most referenced review on I Just Hate Everything. I’ve referenced it in 15 other reviews as of writing. Because I always come back to it as a near-flawless, modern slasher.

And Fucking Jessica has recently resurfaced in that TVD spinoff. Sorority Row lives on.

Pitch Perfect full cast glee

Pitch Perfect

My rating: 5 ouf of 5 stars.

Out of the 5 movies on this list, Pitch Perfect would be the one I personally care about the least. But I just can’t deny how much of a streamlined, enjoyable, sensible film it is.

I’m picking this movie because no other movie I’ve watched this year has lived up to the hype as much as this did. The Avengers came close, but I gave Pitch Perfect a long time between release and actually watching it, and all those months of anticipation were not wrong.

And thank fuck they let Rebel Wilson use her real accent.

Dark Shadows Eva Green blonde hot

Dark Shadows

My rating: 1 out of 5 stars.

Oh, Dark Shadows. It’s actually not the worst movie I’ve seen all year (thanks, Movie 43. You just made it), but it is a Johnny Depp/Tim Burton splooge-fest. Throw in Chloe Moretz, and you might as well just pour the acid on my face now.

I’m picking this movie because it’s finally the straw that broke the Johnny Depp/Tim Burton camel’s back. I’ve been railing against them since Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but now that the world has seen this, the healing might be able to begin.

And fuck Alice in Wonderland. I don’t say it nearly as much as I should, but fuck Alice in Wonderland.

Advertisements

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: