TV Review: The Vampire Diaries Season 4 Episode 21

The Vampire Diaries Elena Katherine torture

Hey, her hands are off-screen. I can imagine what I want to.

Aren’t you glad to shake off the awkwardness of last week?

And even though I’m gonna miss Evilena, I’m just happy everyone can stop putting their lives on hold to save the bratty bitch.

Also, impending Elena/Katherine showdown.

I’m ready.

TL;DR By all our characters’ powers combined, Elena is returned to the land of the feeling. Bonnie plots to double cross Silas. Matt is boring.

It’s what he’s there for.

So the plot thankfully leaves all that New Orleans nonsense behind and remembers that hey, Silas exists. But first, everyone must put themselves completely out to help Elena. After a bit of dream and sun torture doesn’t work, the boys call in Katherine to fix the bitch. Katherine (who is also a bitch. This should not be a surprise to you) lets her run free, which leads to her attacking Matt. After constantly bragging about how the boys won’t do anything to truly harm her, Elena is surprised into feeling emotion again when Damon snaps Matt’s neck. But haha, immortality ring. Elena resolves to kill Katherine because she (and Elena’s right) is responsible for everything that has happened to her/everyone. Meanwhile, Silas terrorises Caroline so he can lure Bonnie out of hiding. Bonnie is in hiding because she’s plotting against Silas. She strikes a deal with Katherine to get the Qetsiyah blood tombstone thing in exchange for Bonnie getting Q to make Katherine Silas-level immortal.

Katherine is, obivously, into it.

So there’s a lot to love. Katherine is around, isn’t she?

But this is hopefully the last episode (this season, at least. I’m realistic) where every single character is falling over themselves to help Elena. And nothing is more pathetic than putting your lives on hold to help some dumb skank “feel again.”

Enough. There’s only 2 episodes left. Enough.

Why I hate this episode:

Frustratingly, the only character who isn’t chomping at the bit to give Elena a hand this episode is Bonnie. Fucking Bonnie doesn’t deserve to be the most rational, intelligent character in any episode. Absurd.

She is also the only character who can see through Silas’ disguises. Because magic. Overpowered, much?

There’s a heavy subplot involving Rebekah trying to get back into Matt’s good graces. Girl, just let it go. He’s not worth it. It’s Matt, for fuck’s sake. You can do better.

Also, since when is Matt important enough in Elena’s life to be the thing that snaps her out of her apathy? It’s like TVD just intermittently remembers he exists so he can be an emotional ball and chain.

Caroline can’t be more excited about helping Matt study. Calm your flaps, women. It’s. Matt.

Silas is apparently so unable to track Bonnie down that he has to nearly murder Caroline’s mother and spend hours stalking Caroline just to lure her out. Despite the fact that Bonnie meets with Katherine at the Grill, the most publicly visited location in Mystic Falls. Twice. For an immortal hell fiend, his powers of detection leave a lot to be desired.

Rebekah offers to compel people to give Matt good grades and a scholarship. Fuck yeah. Right after forcing my friends into doing stupid shit, getting ahead in life would be my first use for compulstion. But the loser turns it down. Bro, you’re failing multiple classes mere weeks before graduation. You ain’t got time to learn. Just cheat at that shit. I think you’ve earned it.

Katherine tries to force Elena into telling her what she said to Elijah to make him fuck her off. You know I love you, K, but if you aren’t aware of what a terrible blight you are, then you’re not the girl I thought you were. Disappointing.

Elena’s post-Matt-death freakout is too similar to her post-Jeremy-death one. She plays the “I can’t! I can’t!” card again. What is this, Grey’s Anatomy?

Oh, and Elena must be fucking joking about wanting to take Katherine down. Poser, please.

Reasons to watch:

I totally called it with that tombstone. Yes, be impressed.

Bonnie’s deal with Katherine is the most delicious thing I’ve encountered this week. And I sometimes eat corn flakes with sugar sprinkled on top. I’m loose.

While being a petulant dick during her multiple tortures, Elena comes out with some very cruel and very accurate remarks. She starts off with Caroline, who initially decries what Damon and Stefan are doing. Elena lashes out and tells Caroline to move onto a better BFF. She regrets not having killed her, and proceeds to mock Caroline for being a terrible girlfriend. What, with the driving away both of her love interests. Elena then, in relation to Caroline’s relationship with Klaus, calls her a tease. Bonus points to Caroline, who then consents to whatever shit the boys wanna do to Elena.

We then move onto the sun torture from Damon and Stefan. Damon rationalises that whatever the methods, if they can get Elena’s emotions back, it’ll be worth it. She retorts that either way they’re screwed: if it doesn’t work, then boo, it doesn’t work. If it does, then Elena will remember every horrible thing they did to her and hate them for it. Damon ain’t got no answer for that.

Elena, in her defiance, also hurls herself into the open sunlight, just to prove that the boys will save her no matter what. I like it.

Matt comes across Rebkeah getting daytime drunk at the Grill. So like us.

She tells Matt that she likes Elena all evil’d up. Matt then calls Rebekah a “mean girl.” He knows!

Katherine (as always) gets to be her fabulous, awful self. She gets best line of the episode when she springs Elena from the safe she’s been locked up in: “Oh, honey, you look awful.” Reminded me of Fucking Jessica’s line from Sorority Row.

Rebekah is a close second, with this incredulous snipe for Matt after Caroline goes nuts to help him study: “You dated that?” Hey, he should be so lucky.

In Damon’s dream thing he puts in Elena’s brain, Caroline is the school’s valedictorian. Aww, he cares about her.

Oh, and Rebekah apologises for that shit she pulled in the season 3 finale (you know, almost killing matt/turning Elena into a vampire). Dat sincerity.

The Vampire Diaries Rebekah close to the cure

“And now I’m just drunk before midday. So, you know, things are looking up.”

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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