TV Review: Revenge Season 2 Episode 19

Revenge Victoria Conrad Patrick

It’s the go-to Grayson move.

It’s been 4 weeks since the last episode.

That’s, like, a month.

I’d complain that I have no idea what’s happening anymore, because I don’t.

But hey, Street Fighter.

TL;DR Nolan and Emily unmask The Falcon. By beating her at Street Fighter. Yeah. Victoria’s not-so-abortion gets outed, too.

Also, politics. Because Revenge.

The main plot this week follows Emily and Nolan as they hunt down The Falcon. They manipulate Victoria into contacting her, then something something computer magic and Nolan is challenged to a game of Street Fighter. He and Emily go to an arcade and (gasp!) The Falcon is a girl. Nolan defeats her and forces her to do something with a USB drive. Shocker, he hacks her computer, gets her arrested, and obtains proof that Victoria didn’t have an abortion. This dovetails nicely with an interview Victoria and Conrad are doing for his campaign. Victoria admits the truth on live TV and Conrad ain’t happy. Meanwhile, Ashley is scheming with Jack, but ends up going back to work for Conrad (so she may or may not be backstabbing both of them), and Charlotte goes clubbing with that bitch she punched in the face instead of helping Declan with a college admissions essay.

Damn, C. You cold.

I’m glad they moved so fast with destroying The Falcon. Just hearing the characters keep saying that ridiculous name made me cringe.

But still, the whole subplot is so contrived and trivial. Of course she’s a young, emo-ish Asian cyberpunk “hacker.” The Street Fighter thing is just retarded. The Internet should have taught us all that hackers have no ethics or morals by now. And then Nolan hacks her back through a fucking USB drive. I suppose it should be refreshing to have some computer tech stuff that isn’t magical bullshit, but really? A USB drive? How did The Falcon get to be as feared as she is if that’s all it takes to get her sent to prison?

Why I hate this episode:

Extra super demerit points for her abominable screen name: Fa1c0n. Because she’s totes 1337 hax0rz lol!!!!1!

Gabrial Mann seems to be trying even harder than usual to display “emotion” this episode. Probably because Nolan is still upset over Accountant’s death. But fuck. His level of determination when playing Street Fighter is uncomfortable. Dem crazy eyes.

He’s also V melodramatic. But nobody’s surprised by that anymore.

The Declan/Charlotte subplot is pathetic. “Oh noes, my girlfriend isn’t helping me with my essay.” What is this? Fucking Lizzie Maguire?

As much as I’d love to defend Victoria, the way the episode presents her decision to dump her baby for a scholarship in Paris is pretty rough. And this is Victoria’s own flashbacks, so I would think they intended it to appear sympathetic. It isn’t.

Jack lurks at the Grayson house during the interview. Why is he even allowed to be there? Did I miss something?

Oh, and Charlotte lies to Declan about where she is (says she’s at home when she’s out), then immediately allows paparazzi to photograph her. Hmm, I wonder if Declan will find out? Dumbass.

Reasons to watch:

I felt bad for Victoria when she had to admit that she abandoned her son in front of a TV camera. Even Conrad finds it a bit (hey, that’s a lot for him) distressing. When he slams her about it later, he’s not just mad about what she’s done to her campagin, but angry that she tossed her child aside. When Conrad’s taking it seriously, you know it’s big.

Emily and Nolan fuck The Falcon over hard. They not only use her to ruin the Graysons, but they sic the FBI on her, too. And to cap it off, Nolan is given the honours of doing the ol’ Revenge “X” on her photo. Another job well done.

Daniel and Emily are back on. Kinda. They’re having sex and Daniel springs an announcement about them getting married again. This pisses off both Victoria and Jack. But she’s still gettin’ the D from Aiden, and together they’ll be using the marriage to finish the Graysons off for good. I wish I had an excuse to get into bed with Daniel and Aiden.

Takeda pops back in this week. Daniel is having suspicions about Aiden and wants to see his personnel file from his time with Takeda. Takeda then chastises Aiden, and Aiden goes on a rant about how getting his revenge (ah ha!) on the man who killed his sister has brought him no peace. His only plan now is to help Emily complete hers and then ride off into the sunset. So noble.

Emily visits Jack to see baby Carl and is surprised to see Ashley swanning around. Dat jealousy.

Jack, continuing his tantrum against Emily, revokes her Godmother title. Burn.

Best line of the episode goes to Victoria, who is fully aware she’s on a soap opera when she tries to make a comeback to Conrad: “And I suggest you go to hell!” Melodrama isn’t all bad.

Sharpay and Ryan’s mum from High School Musical is some governor’s wife character.

Oh, and the girl Charlotte punched at the ball and is now friends with is named Regina. Oh, ABC. They also kiss. I’ll allow it.

Revenge Charlotte Regina kiss hook up

It’s about fucking time.


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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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