TV Review: Bates Motel Season 1 Episode 5

Bates Motel Ethan Asian shot

It’s gotta be, right?

Yeah, this post is super late.

I was busy.

I have a life sometimes, you know.

TL;DR Vera gets out of jail instantaenously, Dylan gets deeper into the town’s criminal underbelly, Norman and Emma find basement girl.

A productive week for the Bates family.

Okay, so following her arrest for Keith’s murder, Vera is all mega pissed and self-righteous. She’s mad at Norman because he blabbed to Dylan. And she’s mad at Dylan because that’s just how she do. Norman bails her out, by they fight because he had sex with Bradley. God, Vera. Could you be any more jelly? After telling her lawyer that she refuses to plead guilty, everything is fixed when Shelby fiddles with the evidence and the case is dropped. Happy days. Meanwhile, Emma is back in business and she and Norman resume the search for clues from The Book. They track down a boat owned by Keith and find basement girl there. Meanwhile, Dylan experiences the town’s volatility first-hand when his Asian friend gets shot the fuck up by a junkie. Dylan later mows said junkie down with his truck.

Homicide: it’s a Bates thing.

So yeah, it’s a pretty busy-yet-simple episode. All plot threads get nudged along satisfyingly. Emma is less of a cunt than before. Cool.

No big issues from moi.

Why I hate this episode:

Vera is kind of a dick to Norman. He even brings her flowers after posting her bail and she ignores him. She’s really not helping her “I’m so not jealous because my son lost his V-plates to someone other than me” case.

Shelby’s motives are frustratingly unclear. So from last week he was a rape dungeon-owning, heartless, child threatening demon. Then this episode he’s all helpful and tampers with evidence. You’d think a guy who has a rape dungeon would be more careful about arousing police suspicion just to help out some chick he recently started banging. Isn’t that what a rape dungeon is for, anyway?

Dylan, conversely, is turning into big brother of the year. He wants an advance from his employers so he can get a house for him and Norman to move into (to get away from Vera). Soft.

Though much more subdued this time, Emma still refuses to accept that Norman and Bradley are a thing. Norman tells her they’re together and totally had sex, and she’s all like “It’s just sex. Whatevs. Please fuck me.” Step off, bitch.

Oh, and instead of taking basement girl to the hospital or to the Sheriff, Emma and Norman bring her back to hide out at the motel. Yeah, they know Shelby’s corrupt, but Sheriff CocaineHangover obviously isn’t. Get this woman some help!

Reasons to watch:

Vera is an enjoyable douchewad. Her anger towards Norman thankfully transcends mere dickery and evovles into petty fabulousness. She and Norman get into the ol’ “I’ll kick you out of this car” sitch. And Vera does it. And doesn’t come back. You go, girl.

She’s also miffed when her lawyer is a young, pretty woman. The envy suits her.

Asian dude’s shooting was fantastic. He’s talking smack to the junkie about how he owes their employer money, then the junkie just pulls out a gun and shoots him in the neck. It’s fast and bloody.

Asian dude also gets points for lending Dylan the money he was planning on asking the employers for. Aww.

Dylan finally gets to indulge his Bates legacy by running the junkie over. I lol’d.

Best line goes to Norman, who is having the argument in the car pre-kick out: “You scare me.” Vera’s response is appropriate.

Emma says that Norman and Bradley aren’t serious because Bradley hasn’t changed her relationship status yet. So tragically accurate to reality.

Emma uses her oxygen tank to batter the door on Keith’s boat in. Bitch be practical as hell.

Norman leaves Bradley an adorable and overlong voicemail message. Dat teen nervousness.

Oh, and Vera seems to be coming around to the idea that Shelby might just be a fucking psychopath. Not that she isn’t around them all the time/is one anyway.

Bates Motel basement girl sex slave Asian

“Alright. But only because Norman’s here.”

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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