CBF Review: Looper

Looper Joseph Gordon-Levitt Joe squint pout smirk Bruce Willis

Squinty and smirk-pouting. His Bruce Willis impression is going well.

It’s the new Inception.

But with more Joseph Gordon-Levitt and less awe.

The plot follows JGL, who assassinates people who are sent back in time. His future self (Bruce Willis) is one of his hits, but escapes. He intends to kill the child version of a future criminal superboss. That child is Emily Blunt’s telekinetic kid. JGL wants to bone Emily/do the right thing, so in the end sacrifices himself (thereby erasing Bruce from existence) to give the kid a chance at not becoming evil. Aww.

I hate this movie because our main character is a merciless, joyless murderer and we’re supposed to care about him, the future mob using time travel to bump people off is retarded (why would they risk something so mega illegal and dangerous? The present day mob bumps people off just fine without using magic), and JGL never shows the appropriate acknowlegement of his future self (he discounts all Bruce’s experiences and motivations. Dude, that’s you. At least cut him some kind of slack).

You should watch because JGL looks way hotter than usual with all his young-Bruce-Willis facial effects, Piper Perabo is in it as a stripper/hooker (meta reference), and at one point the kid goes full Carrie and telekinetically explodes one of the bad guys. It’s juicy.

Verdict: 3 out of 5 stars.

JGL will always be 3rd Rock From the Sun to me.

Looper Rainmaker child boy kid

Well, JGL grew up looking alright. Maybe this kid has a chance.


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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

5 responses to “CBF Review: Looper”

  1. donalddark says :

    I ask for and receive enjoyment from this site-although I can’t quantify or measure said enjoyment. so thanks.

    looper is small movie-its done well, but forgettable.

  2. CMrok93 says :

    Good review. Not only is it action-packed and tension-ridden, it concludes its metaphysical discussion concerning time travel with a punctuation point that is so strongly defined and yet so elusive in its final meaning that it will send your head spinning for a loop or two (no pun intended).

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