TV Review: Cult Season 1 Episode 7

Cult Marti Alon Tal car trunk

“Damn. Still nothing.”

It’s probably my fault for having recently binge watched the entirety of Veronica Mars over the past 2 weeks. I just look at how slow and pathetic Cult is and am ashamed that this is the network that cancelled ol’ VMars.

Side note: I totally increased my pledge for the movie from $10 to the $100 reward level. Blu-ray snobbery doesn’t come cheap.

TL;DR Skye and Jeff learn about FemCop’s cult-y childhood. And how ruthless she is. Everything is still vague and distant, though.

I’d call it “inaccessible.” It needs a spunky, blonde, female private investigator. God, why can’t every show be like that?

So anyway, following last week’s dream run-around, we’re back to the reality/Cult plot split. Our reality plot sees Jeff and Skye on FemCop’s case following her murder of Jeff and EJ’s boss. They dig into her juvenile record, which reveals she spent some time at this house thing somewhere. Yada yada yada it was a cult where the children were ditched and she took charge. She was a cruel bitch. Duh. One of the other girls who was there at the same time reveals that herself, FemCop, Stuart and some dude in a wheelchair murdered an actress when she caught them burgling her. Juicy. There is no clear connection between these kids’ “cult” and the True Believers yet. Meanwhile, Stuart schmoozes Roger to secure some kind of film deal with him. Whatever. And over on Cult, Kelly arrests Billy after she finds evidence to prove he kidnapped her sister. He gets bailed out. For now.

While I appreciate the backstory for the otherwise empty FemCop, I can’t shake the feeling that Cult is just throwing a bunch of random shit at us to confuse us into thinking there’s a mystery at play.

Maybe if I wasn’t suffering through this week-to-week and instead doing a DVD marathon then I could appreciate the build-up more. But as it stands, I’m sick of getting one little bit of detail in amongst a swamp of CW soap opera-lite.

Why I hate this episode:

Seriously, what the fuck is going on? Now there’s some 2nd cult? With members who feel bad about what they’re doing and care about each other? And vague references to being related to the True Believers? Give me something substantial.

No Evil Waitress again this episode. For shame.

Or Marti.

FemCop is doing a pretty bad job of keeping things incognito. She openly menaces Skye and Jeff. I mean ffs, they totally see her murder Annabelle in cold blood. She’s banking (correctly) that they won’t fuck her over because she’s their only lead on Nate, but damn, woman. For a super secret organisation person, you’re not very covert.

FemCop’s partner questions what she’s doing and begins investigating her integrity (he’s suspicious of Boss Man’s supposed home invasion). Um, I thought he was evil. Didn’t he erase shit from Nate’s phone in the 1st episode? I didn’t mention it in my post, but I’m pretty sure he did. Help, anyone?

Roger is initially skeptical of Stuart’s interest in him, but ends up happily accepting his gift of a flashy classic car, which apparently has no strings attached. Bitch, you’re on the show. You should have at least gleaned some innate wariness about odd generosity by now. Fucking actors.

Oh, and Jeff cautions EJ to stay away from FemCop/Cult stuff now that she’s cottoned on. Then he totally uses her research to do all his investigating this episode. You can’t have it both ways. Hypocrisy is my thing, bro.

Reasons to watch:

At least EJ’s (almost) in the loop now. And she’s already proven herself highly capable of getting shit done. Jeff and Skye really do need all the help they can get.

Although it’s confusing as fuck, at least we’re getting some relevant back story for the True Believers. I doubt that they’d bother introducing (and so early) the childrens’ cult thing if it wasn’t connected.

Also, the murdering of a famous actress during a burglary is like Sharon Tate mixed with the Bling Ring. Perez Hilton would jizz in his pants. Then take a photo of it, write a caption in MS Paint and post it to his blog.

Creepy Coworker reappears twice this week. Both times he’s snooping around Skye’s office. He has a phone call with Steven Rae but denies that Skye could be a problem. Though he obviously must suspect she is. Is he trying to protect her? Tell me more.

FemCop is impressively direct with her problem solving. She menaces Jeff and Skye at a funeral for the guy she killed. That’s gettin’ shit done.

And she doesn’t play around when it comes to silencing Annabelle. However, she does show loyalty to Wheels, who she confesses her murder of Boss Man to (and seems genuinely conflicted about it). I want to know more about this hierarchy.

Best line of the episode goes to Jeff, who is angered by FemCop’s appearance at Boss Man’s funeral: “Why are you doing this? Because of a TV show? I mean just…how sick are you?” Jeff not only makes a good point (as if you’d get worked up over watching a TV show. That’s ridiculous), but the rest of the episode then reveals that it’s not just the TV show. According to her conversation with Wheels, they’ve been working on whatever their plan is for many years.

Jeff and Skye later posit that Steven Rae might have been involved with the childrens’ cult (they find a photo of the kids with a car that is the same model and shares a number plate with the one Steven Wrote into Cult). Intrigue.

I’m glad to see Kelly finally making some progress against Billy. Her sister actually made sure to leave evidence that she was indeed in the boot of the car. Clever girls.

Oh, and Jeff’s grudging realisation that he needs FemCop for info on Nate shows savvy. Which these characters desperately need.

Cult Matt Davis Jeff face CW

Handsome, brooding and pained. It’s the CW trifecta.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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