CBF Review: Paranormal Activity 4

Paranormal Activity 4 Blair Witch Project

At least they learned something from The Blair Witch Project.

Horror CBF Reviews are becoming frequent. I’m losing my passion for the genre.

But come on, it’s fucking Paranormal Activity. 4.

It’s just the same old shit. You know it.

And it wasn’t as good as 3. Boo.

So the plot is a jump forward this time, as opposed to the flashback that was 3. It’s 5-6 years after the ending of 2, where Katie kidnapped baby Hunter. Paranormal Activity 4 follows some new family who live across the street from an incognito (and totally still evil) Katie and her weird son. They babysit the son when Katie has to “go to hospital.” Though you think her “son” would be Hunter, it actually turns out that the new family’s son is an adopted Hunter. What? The blonde daughter of the family is the main character, and she pretty much rolls around being blonde and young. Then there’s a bullshit cliffhanger ending with witches. Naturally.

I hate this movie because it’s a pointless piece of shit, they’re really stretching the willingness of the audience to believe these characters would film everything (why would you take a camera with you when going to rescue your little brother from demon witches?), and the demon flips a knife onto the ceiling at one point, then has it dramatically almost fall on the dad’s head later. Umm, I’m pretty sure you’d notice a knife just chillin’ on your ceiling for a couple of days.

You should watch because even though it’s the 4th movie in a franchise that’s been pretty lame from the start, it’s still decent, the Xbox Kinect product placement is hilarious, and Blondie seems like a cool (although way too obsessed with filming her life) big sister.

Verdict: 2 out of 5 stars.

Just go watch 3 again. Way better.

Paranormal Activity 4 Kinect dots

Blondie and her family should just charge $10 cover. Then everyone wins.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

7 responses to “CBF Review: Paranormal Activity 4”

  1. Scott says :

    The only good part of the series ever was when everything in the kitchen exploded open all at once. I think it was in 1? I couldn’t stop laughing.

    • ijusthateeverything says :

      That was in 2. Probably the only decent jump care in that whole movie.

      My favourite moment from the series is the rotating pedestal fan sequence from 3. Oh, 80s. Plus, there’s something about old VHS recording cameras that is lost on 15 year old blonde girls walking around with Macbooks in front of their face.

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