TV Review: Bates Motel Season 1 Episode 3

Bates Motel Norman hospital

Norman’s got some smooth moves, yo.

Ooh, here comes the psycho.

What’s wrong with Norman?

A lot.

TL;DR Norman’s homicidal/insane compulsions are growing, Deputy Hot Stuff might not be as chivalrous as we thought, and Norman is still swimming in pussy.

It’s that “ugly and might murder me” charm. I gotta get on that.

So it’s still Norman’s show this week. Following the proof of The Book’s story that he and Emma found in the woods last episode, Norman is obsessing over the pornographic/rapey images. He passes out at school from the stress. At the hospital he bonds with Bradley, whose dad is probs gonna die, but is taken home by Vera, who is having a crisis of her own. Namely, that Sheriff Guyliner got a search warrant for the house and now Keith’s (the motel’s previous owner. Who they killed. Obv) belt is missing from Norman’s room. Vera sluts herself out to the Deputy, who found the belt during the search and hid it. She exchanges sex for his “help.” Norman, wracked by guilt and apparitions of Vera, breaks into Deputy’s house. Instead of finding the belt, he finds a battered Asian girl in a rape dungeon. As you do. Meanwhile, Dylan starts his new job guarding the pot farm. It’s boring, but it pays well.

I’m still kinda pissed off that Vera is getting pushed out of focus by Norman and Dylan. I get that Norman is the main character, but Vera is fucking Vera Farmiga. Give her the glory she deserves.

I do love watching Norman flare up with murdery urges, though.

Why I hate this episode:

Dylan’s subplot is super lame. He pretty much just rolls up to his pot farm job, which is much tamer than he thought it would be. He hangs out with that Asian guy and they make small talk. The most exciting thing they do is hunt a pheasant to eat, and that happens off-screen. Moving on.

Emma’s obsession with the whole Book thing is a bit unbelievable. I mean, all she saw was a shed. Sheds tend to look pretty similar, especially when overgrown in the woods. She tells Norman that she’s ready to take The Book to the police, against Norman’s wishes if need be. Calm the fuck down, bitch.

She also admits that she only became so interested in their adventure into the woods as an excuse to hang out with Norman. Manipulative skank.

Vera clearly shows that she prioritises not going to prison for murder over Norman’s hospitalisation. So why does she leave the Sheriff’s department crawling over her house just to go see Norman? I thought you were a strong, independent murderer who don’t need no maternal weakness?

It’s pretty clear that Vera boned Deputy as part of their bargain, but she acts all mopey about it afterwards. Girl, you’re hot and amoral, he’s hot and amoral. Just go with it.

Emma cock blocks Norman when he’s talking to Bradley. Rude.

Oh, and Dylan makes a Deliverance reference to Asian (who looks to be early 20s), and he doesn’t know what it is. Dafuq?

Reasons to watch:

Norman is definitely not a normal kid. His attitude when trying to talk Emma out of pursuing the truth about The Book is very dark and scary. He follows this up by having visions of tying his teacher up in positions akin to those depicted in The Book. He creepy.

When Emma later tells him she wants to go to the cops, Norman is even firmer. I wouldn’t fuck with him.

He kept Keith’s belt as a memento of the incident in the kitchen. Vera questions why he’d want to keep something to remember such an awful incident, and Norman honestly can’t explain why. Your boy’s got problems, Vera. Juicy problems.

The apparition of Vera is cruel, guilting and demanding. Which happen to be Vera’s strengths.

What the fuck is going on with Deputy’s rape dungeon? Tell me more.

The episode ends with Deputy arriving home while Norman’s still down there. Definitely tell me more.

Bradley keeps fliriting her ass off with Norman. She’s also aware of the likelihood her father won’t recover, and seems to be coping with it. Thank you for keeping the melodrama at bay.

Dylan makes an effort to bond with Norman. He tells him to stop calling Vera “mother,” which Norman agrees is creepy, and advises him to get out more. They seem to have some level of brotherly bond.

During this exchange Norman claims not to remember trying to kill Dylan with a mallet last week. Interesting.

Dylan gets paid $300 a day for his weed watching job. I’d do it.

Oh, and he does an adorably inept Robert De Niro from Taxi Driver imitation to psych himself up for his job. He tried his best.

Bates Motel Dylan Taxi Driver mirror


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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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