TV Review: The Vampire Diaries Season 4 Episode 17

The Vampire Diaries Bonnie white eyes sacrifice

Unfortunately.

So Bonnie is apparently now a black hole of bad decisions.

She fucking sucks Caroline into her stupidity and causes her to make the 3rd and final sacrifice happen.

Fuck you, Bonnie.

Oh, and she gets goddamn amnesia, so now she doesn’t have to take responsibility for any of it.

Yay.

TL;DR The 3rd sacrifice happens, but Silas still needs the cure. Which Elena and Rebekah might be close to finding.

Also, filler.

So there are 2 major plot lines this episode. The first is back in Mystic Falls. Silas (still disguised as Shane, though all our main characters know it isn’t) convinces Bonnie to set the 3rd sacrifice in motion by fooling her father into believing she is succumbing to expression. He calls in a coven (exactly 12. Convenient, right?) of witches to help, because the 3rd sacrifice has to be of witches. Meanwhile, Stefan and Caroline are aided by Klaus in finding the site of the sacrifice so they can prevent it. But Caroline’s BFF loyalty is too powerful, and she kills the witches to stop them from killing Bonnie (Stefan has the fantastic sense to warn them of Bonnie’s involvement with Silas, which causes the witches to change their plan from “heal” to “exterminate“). The second plot line takes Damon and Elena, as promised, to New York. Damon does this to apparently help Elena feel things again (Lexi did the same thing to him in the 70s) so she’ll switch her humanity back on. His real plan is to actually use some old connections to track down Katherine. Surprisingly (not), his plan fails in the exact same way as Lexi’s did, and Elena snatches the info on Katherine and heads out on a girls’ road trip with Rebekah (oh, Rebekah is in New York, too. Just because) to find K-dizzle. And the cure.

While half of the episode is devoted to furthering the plot (the Mystic Falls half, if you hadn’t guessed), the other half is just Damon and Elena talking about emotions and feelings and blah blah. Who gives a fuck?

Certainly not Elena.

Why I hate this episode:

Or me. If you needed help coming to that conclusion.

Damon’s plan is fucking stupid. He does exactly what Lexi did for him, knowing very well that he totally betrayed her and the whole plan was a waste of time. Then he’s supposed to be surprised when Elena does the same thing to him? Have some foresight, dude.

Also, how the hell did Lexi fall for that shit? Why would she even give enough of a damn about Damon to help him in the first place? And why, having known him for a long time, would she believe he’d have genuine feelings for her? Fucking women.

Even Elena figures out his shit early on (though Rebekah ratting him out does confirm her suspicions) and flips it on him. I thought Lexi was supposed to be cool. When you’re being outdone by Elena, you know you’re not.

Damon has also confirmed his position: Elena must take the cure. Selflessness is not a good look on him.

Silas has the exact same personality, speech pattern and mannerisms as Shane. Put a little effort in, actor. Jesus.

Caroline totally drops the ball on the whole “preventing” the sacrifice thing. I know she did it to save Bonnie, but is that really a good enough reason? When you weigh one person’s life against the revival of hundreds of thousands of mostly vengeful supernatural hellspawn, it’s kind of a no-brainer. God, with that kind of preferential treatment, you’d think Bonnie was Elena.

Caroline continues to lie to herself about her affections for Klaus. You’re fooling exactly no-one. Stop.

Oh, and is anyone else expecting “Elena” from this episode to turn out to be Katherine? That new haircut tipped me off immediately, but nobody even considers it.

Reasons to watch:

But if it is Katherine, that would be juicy as fuck. Please let me be right. Otherwise strangers on the Internet will laught at me. Well you know what? If I’m wrong then I’ll go back and edit this entry. Deal with it.

At least something is happening this episode. The sacrifice means we’re one step closer to a slew of cameos.

Bonnie’s memory wipe goes all the way back to just before Silas awakened. Which means she doesn’t know Jeremy is dead. Her grief will be delicious.

She does a pretty badass job of convincing her dad that she needs to be “helped” by some witches. Amorality is my fetish.

Caroline may have been a short-sighted fuckhead, but she does later realise that she, like, totally murdered 12 people. This is made fucking fantastic by her looking to Klaus for consolation, and him essentially telling her to fuck off. Yeah, that’s what you get, bitch. You don’t go around calling him too disgusing to love and then expect him to make you feel better just because you want him to. Lesson learned?

Klaus is initially hesitant to get involved with Silas, but when Stefan and Caroline tell him that every supernatural being he’s ever killed (and remember, Klaus has been around for a long time. Long) will be back for revenge, he soon perks up.

Later, Silas accosts him and brandishes the invinci-stake. Yeah, Rebekah and Elena better hurry up and find that cure, because Klaus under duress is not gonna be a fun time.

I like Elena’s new haircut. If it is, you know, Elena.

Rebekah plays 3rd wheel to Damon and Elena in New York. Dat unimpressed face. She does it so well.

Damon and Lexi’s hookup was super scandalous. I wonder if Stefan knows?

Also, troll points. The rooftop fuck-n-ditch (in sunlight, no less) was just the cherry on top.

Caroline’s first scene shows her cleaning up after the party from last episode. She picks up a partially filled cup, sniffs it, then drinks it. Anyone who’s had to do the hungover clean-up knows that that shit is fucking hardcore.

Oh, and she doesn’t leave anything to chance when she shanks up that witch bitch. If you’re gonna do it, you might as well do it right.

The Vampire Diaries Caroline Aisha witch sacrifice

Either way.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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