TV Review: Once Upon a Time Season 2 Episode 17

Once Upon a Time Henry well

“He’s right! Get him!”
Can you imagine?

Well, Regina doesn’t make good on her threat to kill Snow from last episode.

Not really, anyway.

Also, 80s.

TL;DR It’s a total Regina episode, which is exactly what I want. The 80s stuff gives her some emotional depth, and she kicks quite a bit of butt in present day Storybrooke.

Even though she didn’t kill Snow. It’s the unreachable star.

So the present day plot follows on from Snow/Gold’s killing of Cora last episode. Regina vows revenge and decides to double her fun by using Snow’s death to cast a curse on Henry which will force him to love her. Naturally, all our goody-goody characters (even Gold. Because grandpa) try to stop her. This culminates in Henry trying to blow up the well to eradicate magic, but everyone just talks it out instead. Later, Snow (who is totes depressed) goes to Regina and begs for death. Regina whips out her heart to see a creeping black spot, and decides to let Snow destroy herself. Trollol. Meanwhile, back in 1983, a father and son stumble into the newly arrived Storybrooke. Regina quickly tires of her victory, so thinks it would be a great idea to steal the child. She catches Dad, but Son escapes.

Also, Son grows up to be Driver. Gasp.

So yeah, this episode is almost 100% Regina. That’s satisfying.

My only major complaint would be the ease with which Regina is dissuaded from her revenge. Her face last episode seemed to suggest that nothing would stop her, but come this week and she’s all mopey and rational. Give me some unbridled rage.

Why I hate this episode:

And of all people, it’s fucking Henry who gets her to cool down. Henry is such a morality chain for Regina. If she didn’t have to worry about hurting his precious little feelings, she could do whatever the hell she wanted. I’m sick of it. And even though he does show her compassion this episode, he still ends up in Emma’s arms. Brat.

Regina gets sick of Storybrooke in less than a week back in 1983. She quickly discovers that her maternal heart yearns for a child, but Son gets away. In 1983. Henry’s, what, 12? So Regina spent another 20 years in sheer, unforgiving boredom until she finally landed Henry? Please explain.

Regina declines Snow’s request to kill her. Fuck.

She does so because she’d rather Snow destroy herself (again, so Henry doesn’t hate her), but Regina’s pretty fucking confident in that. Just like any other foiled supervillain ever. Just fucking kill her now!

Regina gets bored of fucking Graham. After only a week. Bitch cray.

Gold is a bit inconsistent this episode. He goes to the crypt to pay respects to Cora (and pretty much brushing off the fact that he murdered her), then spends the rest of the episode revenge-blocking Regina for no real reason except for David’s insistence on familial obligation. Gold needs to get his groove back.

Oh, and was I the only one who wanted to see Henry blow some shit (maybe himself?) up?

Reasons to watch:

Graham’s back. I do miss him.

We finally get to see Storybrooke pre-Emma from Regina’s point of view. The conflict between her absolute victory and the sinking hollowness of it is delicious.

We also get to see her go super stalker on Son. She brain(heart?)washes Graham into arresting Dad for drink driving so she can have Son all to herself. She’s not a total psychopath, though. When Son rejects her, she allows him to leave (though she keeps Dad. Wonder what she did with him?). And when Son returns with some State Troopers, Regina is on the other side of the invisibility cloak in tears. I just want to see her be happy!

During her moment of discontent, Regina visits Gold for help/advice. He pretends not to know anything about the curse. Makes me wonder when exactly Regina realised he was clued in.

We see a 1983 Storybrooke resident reading a newspaper headline about Ronald Reagan. So Storybrooke gets real-time newspapers delivered? Clarification please, ABC. Intriguing, though.

Henry’s “dynamite the well” plan is adorably childish.

Best line of the episode goes to Granny’s admonishing of Ruby’s whore-ish outfits in 1983: “When I put ‘over easy’ on the menu I was talking about eggs!” She’s a sassy old broad.

Snow is depressed over killing Cora. I lol’d.

And I relished the black spot in her heart almost as much as Regina. Embrace it, Snow.

Driver is all better now, but has decided to stick around Storybrooke. He video records the whole heart-ripping exchange between Regina and Snow, and then it is revealed that he’s Son all grown up. Good, now fucking do something, you lazy jerk.

Henry, during his mediation between Regina and Emma/David/Baelfire (see first pic), refers to Regina as “my mum.” Good.

Oh, and Regina’s face when Dad catches her giving orders to Graham’s heart is priceless. Oh shit, indeed.

Once Upon a Time Regina office heart

“It’s definitely not a magic, mind-controlling walkie talkie plot device. That’s crazy.”

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

10 responses to “TV Review: Once Upon a Time Season 2 Episode 17”

  1. Tiann Nerng says :

    ooh Lana was sooo good in this episode, especially in the 1983 scenes!!!

    I wanted to slap MM/ Snow for acting like an dolt, staying in bed and moping for killing a homicidal bitch – really?!?

    and yes, Henry was ANNOYING with a capital A.

    btw I love your reviews. So much snark 😉

  2. Teylen says :

    If Snow was so desperate to die she might have performed a normal suicide.
    Instead of trying to trick Regina into doing it which would have, as she noticed, pretty much crushed her affords on Henry..

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