TV Review: The Vampire Diaries Season 4 Episode 16

The Vampire Diaries Hayley Phoebe Tonkin tits shirtless

Oh shutup, Hayley. We get it, already.

Elena is a bad girl now that she’s switched off her humanity.

Which means we get to recycle Stefan’s plot from season 3.

At least this one has more attempted murder of Caroline.

TL;DR Elena is a heartless bitch; becomes valuable for first time in a long time. Everyone is trying to find Katherine/the cure, but seem oddly unconcerned about Silas.

Silas plot? Pfft, we obviously need more Stefan wangst. Duh.

The plot this week mainly pays attention to Elena being totally a mean girl. She goes around feeding off people and shit. Stefan, Caroline and even Damon try to keep her in line, with mixed results. Meanwhile, Hayley is back (finally). Katherine is sending henchmen after her to tie up the loose end, so Klaus offers her protection in exchange for info on where K-dizzle is. Also, the cure. Hayley/Klaus hate sex ensues. Damon and Rebekah are also on the Katherine trail, but neither team is coming up with much yet. And Bonnie isn’t in this episode.

Just brace yourself for her self-righteous, idiotic return.

I know it would probably be a bit much to launch straight into more Silas drama right after Jeremy’s death, but the whole episode it just feels like the writers are just sitting on their fucking hands. It’s very B-plot heavy. Silas is out there, right now, plotting a 3rd massacre, people. Get a move on.

But Evilena is pretty tasty.

Why I hate this episode:

That doesn’t mean she makes much sense, though. Sure, turning off her emotions would cause her to give far fewer fucks, but even simple logic must be telling her that publicly feeding off everythang would be detrimental to her self-preservation. And if she was going to be really super cold and calculating, you’d think she’d care a teensy bit about finding the fucking cure/protecting herself from Silas.

She also almost kills Caroline. Rude. And she is able to dominate Caroline in a 1-on-1 fight simply because “Alaric taught her.” Excuses.

Turning off her emotions severs her care for Damon, thus breaking the sire bond. The poor girl loses one bullshit, behaviour-altering plot disability and just picks another one right up.

Damon apparently likes Evilena. Umm, Evilena is essentially Katherine, but he didn’t want to be with her because she was too amoral. How the seasons change us.

The vampire Katherine sends after Hayley is some old friend of Damon’s. Damon has friends now?

Hayley and Klaus’ hook-up, while fantastic for le shippers, is tenuous. They spend most of their scenes talking about how they’re in love with someone else (Klaus with Caroline. Duh. Hayley with Tyler. Also, duh), which is evidently code for “Let’s fuck each others’ brains out.” Worse, their sex scene is only an excuse for Klaus to notice a birthmark on Hayley which could be vital in finding info on her parents. Like I said, tenuous.

Stefan compares Elena to Katherine. Elena’s like “Nuh-uh, I’m so much better.” Um, fuck off, bitch.

Stefan justifies his persistence in helping Elena by making some lame speech about how she never gave up on him when he was ripper-tastic. Puke.

Oh, and Elena’s emotional blackout isn’t even consistent. At the party, Stefan and Caroline dance together and have fun. Elena sees this and has an obvious emotional reaction. Keep your shit straight, TVD.

Reasons to watch:

Evilena is the closest I’ve gotten to an extended appearance of Katherine in a long time. I’ll take what I can get.

Even if it is completely ridiculous, bitch does know how to have a good time, usually involving injuring Caroline. At the cheerleading competition (because the episode it titled Bring It On. Do you get it!?) she purposely drops Caroline during a flip. Then at the party, following an altercation with Sheriff Liz, they get into a pretty bitchin’ cat fight. Elena almost ends it by snapping off a branch and going to stake Caroline. She is thankfully foiled.

Speaking of Liz: hey, Liz is still around. She reports to Stefan that the Mystic Falls blood bank has been cleaned out (and later, 6 other blood banks around Mystic Falls have also been raided), which is the closest thing we get to hearing about Silas all episode. Kudos. Elena attacks her when she arrives at the party, too. I lol’d.

This leads into the second best line of the episode:
Liz: “What’s going on here?”
Elena: “Just some underage drinking and drug use.”
So brave.

Best line of the episode belongs to Elena, too. She and Damon are discussing her recent changes: “Should I go back to being a scared little girl who couldn’t admit what she wants?” Self-aware and amoral? Divine.

Hayley and Klaus’ sex is sexy. Obv.

Stefan and Caroline flirt the fuck out of each other at the party. Ship. Tease.

Oh, and Rebekah makes almost as good a team with Damon as she does with Stefan. Girl knows her Salvatores. It’s a shame that she doesn’t get to do much.

The Vampire Diaires Rebekah

What? Her hands are out of shot. Anything could be happening down there.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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