TV Review: Cult Season 1 Episode 2

Cult executive waitress stitched mouth

Eh, stitched-up is close enough.

I’d say that I’m wary of taking on yet another show to cover, but I’m guessing Cult is gon’ get cancelled soon.

Real soon if this episode is anything to go by.

I’m really only here for the cast.

TL;DR Slow, dull and lacking any true sense of menace, Cult is just begging to be axed.

You can forgive a pilot for having to introduce a ton of new crap, but the 2nd episode should definitely be bringing the goods. This isn’t.

The plot picks up the day after last episode left off. Jeff has spent all night watching Cult while Skye slept over. In the apartment of a kidnapped man, with said man’s brother who she just met less than 24 hours ago. Okay. Jeff consults his “nerd” friend for help with the laptop. Skye goes to work and deals with a suspicious coworker. They eventually track down Miriam’s husband, who turns out to be in league with whoever is doing this shit, and he allows himself to be blown up. Meanwhile, the cast of Cult find out that the kidnapped executive (who is still alive. See above) was trying to change the show. And over on Cult (like, on the show. On TV. You get this by now, don’t you?), Kelly investigates a murder while dealing with Billy threatening to expose some shit she did while she was brainwashed.


I think the best way to describe Cult at this point is “bland.” It’s just not compelling. The pace is unbearably slow. And even though a dude gets blown the fuck up, there’s no feeling of danger at this point. The executive is still alive, Jeff’s brother is still alive. I don’t care about Miriam and her husband. Shock me, Cult.

Why I hate this episode:




We’re still yet to hear anything from IRL Kelly (Kelly’s actor, whose name is Marti. Thanks, Wikipedia). Alona Tal is going to waste!

Jeff’s coworker is a tragically stereotypical Hollywood Nerd. She’s short and has mildly unusual hair colour, so is thus not fit to be beautiful. Although, when you’re competing with Jessica Lucas

The female cop is so obviously evil that even Jeff and Skye are barely surprised when they witness her in kahootz with Miriam’s husband.

Oh, and Jeff’s brother’s call is tracked to a fucking kids’ play zone, which is also used for a scene involving the mailing of a severed finger on Cult. Really? Was that the only location that wasn’t booked out that day? Like, honestly, what the fuck, guys?

Reasons to watch:

There is already an impressive amount of self-awareness (and I love me some self-awareness) at such an early stage. Remember me rattling my flaps about how absurd Jeff and Skye’s relationship is? Well, Skye has an excellent reason for that. Namely, she’s actually only working on Cult so she can investigate the disappearance of her father 10 years ago. When he was investigating Steven Rae (Cult’s creator) and Cult. Even though Cult has only been around officially for 1 year. Er. Ma. Gherd.

Jeff gets the points for pointing out how willing and helpful Skye’s been, and Skye gets points for having a great excuse. Everybody wins!

In-universe Cult feels a lot like this. You’d think that would be a bad thing, but it’s a bit adorably clueless. I like it.

The TV club/bar/lounge thing seems a lot less retarded this episode. It’s clear that it’s a mostly normal place, and the Cult stuff is all in a separate room for the hardcores. I will hold my complaints for now.

Evil waitress is cool. And refreshingly lighthearted.

Best line of the episode goes to Jeff, who is saying what any mentally capable viewer of this show would be thinking: “Are people really that crazy? They’d kill because of a televison show.” I’d kill because of a cancellation of a show. Unless it was a mercy killing.

Billy’s actor seems to be evil-ish at the table read, but then Evil Waitress stalks him, indicating a possible kidnapping. Evil-on-evil intrigue.


Cult Skye Jeff explosion Miriam's husband

Dat motion blur.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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