TV Review: Glee Season 4 Episode 15
“Hey, did you miss me?” -Aimless Melodrama
Well, at least we got 1 episode without it. That’s pretty much the best you can ask for with Glee.
TL;DR Helllllooooooooo bullshit soap opera crap. There’s a healthy dose of bad song cringe thrown in as well. And too much Moulin Rouge.
Oh god, why?
Okay, so at McKinley, Will is dealing with the aftermath of Emma jilting him. He tasks the glee club with doing movie music mash-ups. The boys choose songs from 80s Tom Cruise movies, and the girls do Marilyn-cross-Madonna. Nothing to see here. Jake and Marley have a bust-up after she admits to kissing Blake on Valentine’s Day. Will tracks Emma down and they decide to get to know each other again. Then Finn drops the “I kissed your fiancé/my former teacher” bomb. Hilarity (for me, anyway) ensues. Meanwhile in New York, Kurt gets cozy with that English dude, but Santana keeps needling him about having sex with Blaine on Valentine’s. Santana also deduces that Brodie must be a drug dealer (although he’s more likely a ho). And Santana (she’s everything) also gets Rachel to come clean about her positive pregnancy test.
Santana Santana Santana.
I really must point out how liberating last episode was. I mean, Santana and Quinn had fucking sex. Like, that’s freedom. Now we’re dragged back to this soap opera reality. It’s shit.
The only characters I didn’t hate this episode were Santana (of course), Sugar and Kitty. And Sugar and Kitty barely have anything to do with the plot (especially Sugar. Peripheral bitch). All the main plots are just soaked in overblown bullshit.
Kurt’s is probably the worst. Surprise. It becomes clear through a painful Moulin Rouge sequence that he’s still in love with Blaine. 1) Fucking get over it already. God. 2) English dude is all like “I know I’m just a rebound and you’re still in love with Blaine. But I want you and I to be madly in destiny-shattering love already, so let’s keep it up.” They barely know each other.
Seriously English, you’re older, not alien-faced and have a British accent. Go out there and do better.
Why I hate this episode:
Will’s plot line is scarily WTF. Artie and Finn track down Emma, so Will does the ol’ Say Anything boombox trick to get her to speak to him. Then she says that she jilted him because they don’t know each other anymore (she specifically says that he’s a different person because he went to DC for a bit. What?). Um, no cunt. It’s not that you don’t know each other anymore. It’s that you guys have been so badly pushed out of focus for so long that the audience doesn’t know you anymore. This is nothing more than an obvious plot device so Glee doesn’t have to bother coming up with anything new for them. Absolutely disgusting.
The Jake/Blake/Marley plot continues the trend of being boring as fuck. Nobody cares.
Jake is also such a little bitch when Marley comes clean to him about the kiss. What kind of Puckerman are you?
Similarly, after Finn tells Will about kissing Emma, Will just tears up and walks away. Bro, Finn even offered for you to punch him. That would have been way cooler. So OC.
I’ve been sick to fucking death of the mash-up episode each season since the second time they did it. There’s a point where indulging a legacy becomes just plain indulgence. Move the fuck on.
The performance of Shout (Glee’s 500th, fyi) is lead by Blaine and Brittany. It’s crap.
Also, to fit in with the theme of movie songs, Blaine introduces it as the song from Animal House. Bitch, your target audience won’t even know what Animal House is. Stupid.
The Moulin Rouge song is amazingly crap. You didn’t think there could be a more poorly sung version of Come What May, did you? Glee: making Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman look like professional singers. At least there’s a silver lining.
It’s also the song that Kurt and Blaine apparently discussed for their wedding. Ew lol.
The girls’ Material Girl/Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend mash-up is so fucking obvious. Looks like someone saw the Material Girl film clip and was like “that, but emptier.”
Jake and Marley re-enact Ghost’s pottery scene. It’s terrible.
Santana sincerely comforts Rachel after she breaks down about the pregnancy test (see below). Please no.
Nobody even wins the mash-up contest. Artie was using the contest as a way to cast for some movie he’s making, so because this is Glee and everyone is special, they all win and are all going to be in the movie.
Oh, and Kitty apologises to Marley for constantly bullying her and being a general cunt. Why?
Reasons to watch:
In Kitty’s defence, she does immediately follow this up by crossing her fingers behind her back when “promises” she won’t tell anyone about Marley kissing Jake. Nice.
Santana fills the bitch quota admirably. Every scene she’s in involves her antagonising everyone in the room (or not in the room, in Brodie’s case). She suggests pregnancy-themed movies when Rachel, Kurt and English are deciding what to watch. She openly brings up Kurt’s sex with Blaine in front of English (and the wedding song thing). She accuses Brodie of being a drug dealer after she found a wad of cash and a pager when she was going through the apartment. And she even makes fun of how perfect his body is. That’s every base covered. Thanks, babe.
There are a couple of good songs. The opening Will dream where he and Emma dance in black and white inside a rotating room is honestly amazing. I couldn’t believe I was watching Glee for a minute there.
The closing Footloose number also surprised me. I wanted to hate it and make a joke about how it was even more offensive than the Footloose remake, but I won’t. Somtimes you gotta cut loose.
Finn and Artie pose as gingers to scam info on Emma out of her parents. Dem wigs.
Best line goes to Sugar, who has an idea for the movie music challenge: “We should do The Artist so we don’t have to sing.” I endorse this laziness.
Marley fantasizes Blake into her pottery make-out with Jake. I lol’d.
Oh, and now that Santana and Rachel are all buddy-buddy (as insane as that is), it looks like Santana will be sticking around. I hope.