TV Review: Revenge Season 2 Episode 14

Revenge Victoria Daniel Conrad Grayson balcony

I want to go to there.

But I’m still here, aren’t I?

TL;DR Another 2 characters die. Victoria seems to be truly back to her evil ways. The bar drama is finally over.

That’s as near to perfection as post season 1 Revenge is gonna get.

So Jack and Amanda are on their happy honeymoon cruise following their sappy wedding last episode. But Sam Anders is like “Yo, imma put a gun in yo’ face.” Struggling ensues. Jack manages to escape on a dinghy but is shot. Amanda stays behind to secure his safety. Emily shows up just in time to foil Sam Anders, but not before he manages to ignite some propane tanks and blow both Amanda and The Amanda up. Amanda dies. Nothing of value is lost. Meanwhile, Victoria, Conrad and Daniel decide to pin Helen’s murder on Amanda. Conrad also bumps up his political announcement. And Aiden and Accountant team up to infiltrate the Initiative.

I gotta give some snaps to Revenge. They’ve killed off 3 characters (one of them a main) over the last 2 episodes. And they’re only mid-season. It’s surprising.

That doesn’t stop the whole boat hostage situation thing from being overly drawn out and tedious. I don’t really care enough about Jack, Amanda or Sam Anders to give a shit about watching them struggle for their lives. This is made worse by the Grayson subplot (about a fucking party to announce a political campaign) being more enjoyable. Victoria and Conrad sniping at each other is the most consistently satisfying thing about Revenge.

Why I hate this episode:

Couldn’t Jack have died, too?

Amanda does the fucking dumbest thing I’ve ever seen a character do on this show. She and Emily have knocked Sam Anders out and are about to escape the sinking and propane-filling ship. Then Amanda sees her goddamn necklace and goes back for it. Cue Sam Anders igniting the propane and blowing that dumb bitch the fuck up. Really, Amanda? Really? I know you’re a crazy ho, but really?

Her dying thoughts are all lovey dovey bullshit about Jack and the baby and how Emily was her family. Blech. Wasn’t Emily down for getting rid of her on several occasions last season? Fucking schmaltzy crap.

Declan and Charlotte continue to contribute absolutely nothing. Their subplot involves their harrowing struggle against a failing air conditioner in the implied terrible heat. That’s literally it. Charlotte also has some whinge about not wanting to be used for yet another Grayson publicity stunt, but is easily swayed. Can she die next, please?

Burn Gorman (Owen from Torchwood, for the Whovians out there. Yeah, that’s right. I know my BBC sci-fi) is the new Initiative rep. And I’d just like to take this moment to say: he is profoundly hideous. Like, just, omg. His mouth looks like that seer girl from Once Upon a Time’s face scar. He’s just a mess. Just. Just no.

Oh, and Accountant seems to be edging closer and closer to main character status. What is this world coming to?

Reasons to watch:

At least she receives one of her dad’s fingers in the mail as proof of life. I lol’d.

The best thing about this episode is Victoria’s callousness to her straight-up murder of Helen last episode. Even Conrad is a bit disgusted by it. The best scene of the episode comes near the end, when Victoria, Conrad and Daniel are on the balcony at their house. Daniel asks how they go on after what they’ve done. Victoria pretty much just says they forget about it and don’t give a fuck. A lesson for us all.

Their plan to frame Amanda is also adorable. Victoria and Daniel stage a fake argument (that eventually points to Amanda as a reason for Helen’s disappearance) in Daniel’s office for the Initiative camera to pick up. Genius. Victoria poses as Helen to fool her driver, and they also plant a scarf in the Porter household, which Burn finds.

Amanda puts that old crowbar practicality to work when she and Jack are taken hostage. She almost immediately tells Jack that they need to kill him before he kills them. The plan doesn’t come to fruition, but I like a girl with a pragmatic, homicidal streak.

She also intentionally lets water into the boat. Where was this awesome craziness the past forever episodes?

Best line of the episode goes to Victoria. Daniel and Conrad are rolling Helen’s body up in a carpet and Victoria isn’t sad about any of it: “The bitch had it coming.” For polluting our plot lines, yes she did.

Emily and Nolan’s sincere concern for Jack and Amanda and their scramble to reach them in time is kinda cute.

Watching Amanda bleed out was extremely satisfying.

And Jack, though not dying, does get badly wounded. Close enough.

Revenge Jack shot dinghy

Maybe in the season finale?

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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