TV Review: The Vampire Diaries Season 4 Episode 14

The Vampire Diaries Katherine Silas Jeremy

Katherine, that is. ‘Cuz y’all know I don’t give a fuck about Elena.

Holy motherfucker, Katherine fucking Pierce is finally here.

My crusted labia just crawled with excitement. Like a cuttlefish.

And in true Katherine form, bitch isn’t playing around.

Get ready to lose a main character.

TL;DR It’s Jeremy. Also, Klaus further reinforces his love for Caroline, the cure only has a single dose, and Silas is awakened.

I know, you were hoping for Bonnie to die. We all were.

So we’re picking up from last week’s island getaway. Elena, Stefan and Rebekah call Caroline to help them find out where the cave of wonder is. She and Tyler use the hunter sword (and Klaus’ translation) to find their way, and an interesting caveat to the vampirism cure: there is only 1 dose. Meanwhile, Damon gets cozy as that new hunter (says his name is Galen. I’m gonna call him Gay. For convenience and for shipping purposes) drags him along to the cave. Meanwhile, Shane, Bonnie and Jeremy also go to the cave. Everyone ends up at the cave, okay? Bonnie and Jeremy (ditching an injured Shane) make it to Silas first, but they have to feed him their blood to awaken him and unclench the cure from his grasp. They’re hesitant, but Gay isn’t. Luckily Elena saves them. But it isn’t Elena, it’s Katherine, who feeds Silas Jeremy’s blood, steals the cure, and is outta there before she can see a reanimated Silas snap Jeremy’s neck.

Dead.

So I said a few episodes ago that TVD had “won television” when Stefan and Rebekah (oh, btw, I just remembered/realised the correct spelling is Rebekah, not “Rebeka.” This will be fixed from now on. But I cbf going back and editing all my previous posts. So there) hooked up, but I wasn’t ready for Katherine slipping in and murdering a main character.

So brace yourself for hyperbole again: TVD has won television. Again.

Victoria Grayson wishes she was so fabulous.

Why I hate this episode:

But there are still a few quibbles. Rebekah’s unimportance to this week’s happenings was pretty frustrating (especially for devoted/retarded Rebekah die hards like myself). She is also way too easily pacified by Gay. It still irks me that original vampires went from bitch-slapping the heads off 500 year old vampire fugitives to being unable to foil a slightly-stronger-than-usual human.

Even though there’s only 1 dose of the cure and we’ve been told it’s the only thing that will defeat Silas, I still can’t shake the feeling that Elena is going to receive it somehow. Ew.

The Klaus/Tyler/Caroline subplot is weak. It’s all about how much in love Klaus is with her. So much so that he’s willing to help them find the cure with not much promised in return. Then he flip-flops and declares he will brutally kill Tyler fo’ shizzle once he’s out of the Gilbert house. Then he flip-flops back and promises not to kill him (with the provision that Tyler fuck off) because he wants to prove his mercy to Caroline. Either you are a badass, homicidal, fuck cannon, or you’re not. We’ve got enough whipped vampire “men” on this show (remember season 1 Damon? Those were the days).

Caroline also has a massive, ugly cry when she has to say goodbye (forevarrarrr!!!11) to Tyler. I don’t care about that anymore.

Despite making an impressive delcaration last episode that he wants the cure for himself and not for Elena, after finding out there’s only 1 dose, Stefan’s like “Oh, then it’s defs for Elena.” Ugh.

Oh, and fucking Bonnie and Jeremy reach Silas first. So unworthy.

Reasons to watch:

At least they’re in as much disbelief as we are. Bonnie delivers probably the smartest thing she’s ever said, which is the episode’s best line: “Look at us: a newbie hunter and a witch who needs adult supervision. How are we the ones that made it this far?” How indeed.

They also pay pretty heavily for their supposedly good fortune. Bonnie gets shanked in the back by Gay (possibly fatally, as her spell to imprison Klaus disappears, although Bonnie is still alive. For now) and Jeremy, well, dies. I really hope Silas doesn’t put all that shit about him raising the dead to good use to undo Jeremy’s death. As much as I enjoy Jeremy’s chest, his character has been stagnating ever since Anna died and it would be sad for TVD to start retconning every major character death. Again, remember the earlier seasons? We haven’t lost anyone really valuable since Alaric, and that was a while ago.

Katherine is pretty much the best thing ever. She fools all our pathetic heroes yet again. She also beats Elena the fuck up, which will never be something I don’t want to happen. They still haven’t made out yet, though.

The tombstone turns out to be unimportant to the Silas thing. Shane only needed it as payment for his witch. Fun fact, though: it’s made out of Qetsiyah’s calcified blood. So I think we might be seeing more of it. But probably as a deus ex machina, unfortunately.

Speaking of Shane, he breaks his leg and doesn’t make it to Silas’ chamber. I lol’d.

Gay and Damon have some banter. Gay says he needs Damon as leverage to prevent Bonnie from performing the spell to free Silas. Damon scoffs and says he picked the wrong Mystic Falls resident for that exchange. Ikr?

After Bonnie bleeds in the well and sees a vision of her Grams, Jeremy deduces that it’s not actually her spirit, but a trick by Silas. Jeremy apparently has a brain hidden somehwere under those pecs.

Elena and Stefan have decided they need the cure to use on Klaus, thus making him able to be killed. I can always hold out hope that not everyone will end up pandering to saving Elena’s humanity, can’t I?  Shutup.

In a rare, touching moment, Klaus implores Rebekah to take the cure. Both because he wants her to be happy, and so nobody can use it on him. At least he’s honest about it. And I believed him for both reasons.

Oh, and seriously, Katherine is the best.

The Vampire Diaries Elena injured bleeding

Oh, thank GOD.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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