TV Review: Revenge Season 2 Episode 12

Revenge Daniel shirtless

Especially when Daniel isn’t that impressive shirtless. Just sayin’.

So I’ve survived yet another week.

I am still tired of having to talk myself off the ledge every episode, though. Just be better, Revenge.

TL;DR Things move as slowly as ever. There’s some decent (and not frivolous) tension between BritBrit and Emily. Business shenanigans abound. At least there’s a heroin overdose to keep me from falling asleep.

Falling asleep? How cute. I meant passing out.

The plot mainly follows Daniel and Emily as they go to LA to win over the chick who runs Stonehaven. Victoria comes along, too, to help Jason (Conrad’s old rival) make the deal. Victoria fails, Daniel acquires Stonehaven, Jason fucks Victoria off (but not before fucking her) and Victoria is disappointed in Emily’s betrayal of her. Meanwhile, Helen tasks BritBrit with assassinating Victoria to ensure his sister’s release. He fails. Meanwhile, Nolan is playing lovey-dovey with Accountant, but figures out she’s just after the Carrion project. Meanwhile, Conrad buys out the Ryans, but Sam Anders tells of his casino proposal and Conrad likes it. Oh, and it’s Charlotte’s birthday. But nobody cares.

Ugh, this business drama is all so dry and boring. I don’t care. I just don’t care. Goddammit.

This is episode fucking 12 and Emily has made no tangible progress in getting closer to the Initiative. I mean FFS, I’d probably be excited to see Mama come back at this point. At least bitch was waving guns around and shit. Seriously. Nothing is fucking happening. I don’t care about Grayson Global’s corporate acquisitions. Holy fuck.

At least the bar drama has Conrad involved now. I’m expecting plenty of delightful smuggery.

Why I hate this episode:

Though I am pissed off that the bar drama is still ongoing. I was pretty much ecstatic when Kenny revealed he had accepted Conrad’s offer to buy the bar. Then Sam Anders comes in and is all “I want to build a casino,” and Conrad’s like “Hot.” Fuck. And wouldn’t building a casino be an ugly thing for a political candidate to do? Come on.

Victoria continues to mean absolutely nothing. Still? Really? She spends most of her time slutting up Jason only for all her work to be in vain when Daniel and Emily trump him at the meeting. Please, writers, give her something to do. She used to be Victoria Grayson.

Who gives a shit about Charlotte’s birthday?

Nolan is a wet pussy when it comes to how disgustingly tender he is around Accountant. He’s on the verge of tears when he says how much she means to him. Vile.

Helen and the Initiative are bizarrely clueless about Emily. The Graysons’ security guy figured out the whole switcheroo thing almost immediately last season. Get your shit together, guys.

BritBrit fails to snipe Victoria twice, by mere seconds each time. Way to choke.

Charlotte, as she is now 18, announces she has changed her surname to “Clark.” Nobody cares.

Oh, and Helen shows BritBrit footage of his sister to incentivise him to kill Victoria. After he fails, she sends him footage of her overdosing on heroin. Seems like an unusually rapid conclusion to a plot thread (and one that was actually halfway decent. BritBrit could have been forced into more situations). Wasteful.

Reasons to watch:

Nolan catches on to Accountant’s scheming. He even breaks out the ol’ whale cam to film her “discovering” the Carrion files (he set it up to prove his suspicions). Now break up with/kill her and let’s move on.

Accountant appears to be working for Helen/the Initiative under duress. Helen cryptically reminds her of what’s “at stake” if she fails to retrieve Carrion. Ooh.

Nolan reveals that Carrion is able to black out Manhattan in mere minutes. So we know that now.

Conrad’s GTFO package for Kenny is pretty smooth. It’s black dude’s murder confession and $50,000. And it works (until Sam Anders rebels). So we’re down to only 1 Ryan. That’s halway to the goal.

Helen’s plan for BritBrit to assassinate Victoria was lulzworthy.

Best line goes to Victoria, who is miffed when she sees Conrad has re-hired Ashley: “It seems that the cat has dragged itself back in.” Meow (obligatory).

Oh, and BritBrit finally remembers he has balls when he semi-strangles Emily and threatens retribution if his sister is indeed dead. His grip on her reminded me of something…

Revenge Aiden choke Emily

Choking is hot, right?

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

6 responses to “TV Review: Revenge Season 2 Episode 12”

  1. Anonymous says :

    Did u swear enough

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