TV Review: Pretty Little Liars Season 3 Episode 15

Pretty Little Liars Mona Spencer quiz off academic decathlon

Figurehead positions in school clubs we’ve never heard of until this episode are clearly vital.

Yep, Mona is definitely still cray.

And still A. Ish.

And Byron could totally be Alison’s murderer.

Just another day here for the PLL girls.

TL;DR There’s some decent shit going on around Mona, Byron looks more and more evil, but it’s another Hanna-lite episode. So that’s not okay.

2 in a row. Get your fucking shit together, PLL.

Alright, plot lines time:

Spencer faces off against Mona to be the captain of the Academic Decathlon team. And loses. Despite showing some defiance to Mona earlier, Spencer is now worried about how openly aggressive Mona is becoming. Also continues to be completely oblivious to Toby’s A-ness.

Paige is back and suffering some serious repercussions from the almost-getting-murdered thing and the Halloween incident. So Emily naturally decides that a party miles out of town in the woods is a good idea. Paige freaks the fuck out before they get there and then Toby slashes their tyres, but the 2 are otherwise unharmed.

Aria’s suspicions of her father’s involvement grow. Ella says he was with her all night on the night of Alison’s disappearance, but Meredith tells her he snuck out to come see her, and went to see Alison, too. Fuck. Meredith and Aria bond over their info-sharing. Also, Aria and the Liars are absolved of responsibility for the fire. Btw.

And Hanna does pretty much fuck all. Her only worthwhile action is to shout Mona the fuck down after she defeats Spencer in the quiz. Hanna is fucking done with tiptoeing around this bitch. Mmm hmm!

Ugh, but seriously, how long will I have to suffer through Aria bullshit while Hanna gets sidelined? I mean fuck, I’d be happy with a half decent Emily plotine at this point. Jesus.

The only redeeming feature is that Aria’s plot is directly linked to details on Alison’s murder. And not, you know, meaningless whingeing about Ezra. So that’s progress, I guess.

It’s still better than TVD (which is back this week!).

Why I hate this episode:

I need more Hanna. I just do. I will not be placated.

Emily’s plot doesn’t go anywhere either. All it proves is how much an insensitive and straight-up ignorant bitch Emily is. Not only does she think going to the party is a great idea, but after Paige has her panic attack, she suggests going for a leisurely stroll in the woods to get some air. Coming back to slashed tyres and a chase after a hooded figure (revealed to the viewer, but not to Emily, to be Toby) isn’t really relaxing, is it Em?

Spencer loses to Mona at the quiz off. This is irritating for 2 reasons: 1) The montage shows Spencer is obviously destroying the crap out of Mona, then Spencer suddenly loses when she fumbles a single question. 2) Why is this Academic Decathlon that has never been brought up before the most important thing evarrrrr to Spencer? It’s just a device to make Mona seem capable of causing more damage. Plot pandering.

Byron is pretty insensitive to Aria RE having Meredith over at the house. And going frighteningly crazy at her and grabbing her bandaged arm during a fight. Right in front of Aria. For someone who should be downplaying their “Could be a murderer” side, he’s not being very vigilant.

Oh, and continuing the theme of not just fucking asking somebody about what they want to know, Aria, who now has Meredith’s word about the Alison/Byron blackmail and his whereabouts on the fateful night, still won’t talk to Byron. Just get some answers you pale bitch!

Reasons to watch:

The Liars’ confidence towards Mona seems to be growing. Except for Spencer’s minor crumble following her quiz defeat, our 4 ladies do a pretty good job of not letting Mona intimidate them. The scene where Mona tries to be civil at lunch quickly devolves into the Liars rightfully pointing out inconsistencies in her act and her obvious lying. Mona’s pained tears are their deserved reward. Good.

Hanna takes this a flying leap further later, after she consoles Spencer post-quiz. Having been told by Lucas that Mona is blackmailing him, and seeing her take something from Spencer when she didn’t need it herself, Hanna lets loose with a fantastic monologue about how Mona can go and fuck herself.

In fact, it’s the best line(s) of the episode: “I’m onto you, okay? Nothing’s changed. You’re still pulling strings and pushing buttons. Manipulating lives. Using people’s secrets. You know, I wasted months visiting you, defending you, feeling guilty for everything you did to me. And I kept thinking ‘Maybe if I was a better friend.’ You almost reeled me in. ‘I’m scared, Hanna. I need you.’ Bullcrap! I know you’re still A and I know what you’re doing to Lucas. (Mona tries to interrupt) No! I’m done. I don’t wanna see you. I don’t wanna hear from you. And I don’t wanna know you.” Mona gon’ get maaaaaad.

We’re getting some pretty damning points against Byron for murdering Alison. The reason he and Meredith were fighting was because she saw him stealing the Ali diary pages from Aria’s room, and when the girls are frantically searching for the pages (before Meredith confirms Byron took them) he pretty much gloats over them while pretending to know nothing.

I’ll give Aria points for following that scene by immediately deducing that he must know something about them.

Meredith says that Byron saw her on the night of Alison’s murder. He accused Meredith of being in on Alison’s blackmail scheme. And Meredith says Byron definitely went to see Alison. Of course, this all hinges on Meredith telling the truth. I’ll be uncharacteristically trusting. For now.

Speaking of blackmail, Lucas reveals to Hanna that the reason he was helping A was because Mona was blackmailing him for a test answers black market thing he was doing. Hopefully he’s telling the truth, too.

Ella gets to show off her bitchy side when she gives Meredith nothing but frost when she tries to apologise for accusing Aria of setting her on fire. Meow.

There’s some new, moderately attractive nerd guy called Andrew on the Academic Decathlon team. I guess Spencer needs a new love interest now that Toby is the devil.

Oh, and the ending shows Mona (hoodie clad, of course) stalking Byron on campus and talking to a colleague on the phone. Bitch is still A, eh?

Pretty Little Liars Hanna bra bad outfit

Bitch is floppin’ around more than a Goldeen in Super Smash Bros.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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