TV Review: American Horror Story Season 2 Episode 11

American Horror Story Lana escape


If you were thinking this episode couldn’t possibly top the character-killing rush of last episode, you’d be right.

But it more than makes up for it with sweet satisfaction.

And it’s so sweet you’ll get diabetes.

Worth it.

TL;DR Lana is finally freed, exposes Quinto, and kills him. Could there be any greater perfection? Oh, Kit gets out too. Whatever.

Whatever indeed, you blasé blonde twink.

The plot this episode (with only 2 more episodes to go!) sees Mother Superior making good on Lange’s urging to free Lana. Lana gets out, sics the police on Quinto, and then confronts him in his apartment. Before the police arrive, she grills him on the whereabouts of Clea’s body. After he says he totally fucked her corpse, Lana shoots him dead. She goes on to expose Briarcliff. But when she goes to help Lange out, Fiennes tells her she committed suicide. He is lying. She also backs out on an abortion for her rape-baby. Meanwhile, now that Bloodyface has been revealed, Kit is released from Briarcliff. Using her death as a loophole, Kit bargains for Frenchie and his baby to come, too. They return to Kit’s house and discover Alma, with a baby of her own. And over in present day, Dylan McDermott (baby Bloodyface) hires a lactating hooker to sate his mummy issues. It doesn’t go well for her.

I’m a bit worried about how they’re going to squeeze 2 more episodes out of this thing. This episode kills off Quinto, ends the Bloodyface mystery, frees Lana and Kit, and Briarcliff is totally exposed. The only threads really left hanging are McDermott in present day and Lange being hidden by Fiennes. Uh oh.

And the fact that Briarcliff isn’t immediately shut down after Lana has hard evidence against it is fucking stupid.

But there is no way to properly describe the satisfaction of Lana (although she takes her time) answering the question of “Why Don’t You Just Shoot Him” with “Okay.”

Why I hate this episode:

Waiting for her to pull the trigger is fucking agonising, though. Like, she knows Quinto is a merciless psychopath with trap doors in his apartment. Yet she still takes her sweet time finally pulling the trigger.

I’m not sure if Lange has regained her mind or not. She clearly remembers everything, but she has some spiel about how she sees things more clearly than ever now that she’s a mad woman. So, are you still mindfucked or not? Irritating.

Looks like we’re still not going to get any tits from American Horror Story. There are multiple moments in McDermott’s scenes where they could have at least slipped a nip. But no. Tease.

Alma’s back. I wish I cared.

Pepper continues to be a laughably ineffective guardian to Frenchie and her baby. The orderlies just go about their job and take her away when she tries to defend the baby from Quinto. Weak.

I know it was a foregone conclusion, but Lana baulking at the abortionist was fucking ridiculous. She’s all like “No more death.” Bitch, you already gunned down the rape-daddy and you’ve already gone to coat-hanger town with this little bastard yourself. Just fucking finish what you started. No commitment.

Frenchie is just rollin’ around Briarcliff with a fucking baby like she didn’t get murdered a few weeks ago. Umm.

Oh, and the McDermott sub plot doesn’t really go anywhere. I think it was in there more for shock/gross-out value than anything meaningful. At least they’ve saved something for the next 2 episodes, right?

Reasons to watch:

Lana kills Quinto. How could you want more?

Kit is also finally released, and with a chick he digs and a baby as well. And yeah, I don’t really give a shit about Alma (and the aliens thing has been played down so much that I don’t really care about that anymore, either), but it was pretty juicy to see her just spin around, bub in arms. No happy ending yet!

Frenchie’s flashback to her alien impregnation is yuck-tacular. They shove some child-sized glob of something inside her. And even though some Photoshop effects obscure her bits, we do get to see her “naked,” so at least American Horror Story is trying to deliver.

Kit proves himself to be more than just a smooth, hairless face. After some nuns take his baby, he successfully bargains with Fiennes to release Frenchie and the baby with him (using the afore-mentioned loophole). I was impressed.

And he proves his nobility, too. When Lana is being smuggled out of Briarcliff by Mother Superior, she has to sneak past Quinto, who at this moment is bargaining with Kit to get the confession tape back. He offers Kit his baby in exchange for the tape, but Kit does the selfless thing and distracts Quinto long enough for Lana to get into the cab. He’s a good dude.

Lange takes great pleasure in slut-shaming Fiennes for putting his dick in Satan. I lol’d.

Best line goes to McDermott’s hooker: “Look at me. I’m a rockin’ body and a titty full of milk.” There is no greater boast.

Lana isn’t far behind with this glib response to Quinto’s just-shot body: “Prison’s too good for you.” Boom, bitch.

Lana also displays some self-awareness when she rightly heaps responsiblity on herself for Wendy’s death: if she hadn’t been so dogged in chasing the Bloodyface story, then Quinto wouldn’t have gone after Wendy.

McDermott totally breast feeds off the hooker. We’ve seen it before, but would that ever get old? TV needs this.

Oh, and the police prove useful again by totally accepting her evidence against Briarcliff and getting her in there to (attempt to) rescue Lange. Lana just gets her shit done these days.

American Horror Story Lana gun

“Goodbye, Mr Bloodyface.”

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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