TV Review: Glee Season 4 Episode 6

Glee Marley vomit bulimia Grease Sandy

What a noob.

So this episode is titled “Glease.”

Yeah, I’m with you there, Marley. Get those fingers out, ladies.

It’s gonna be a puker.

TL;DR They hold back on the Grease stuff much more than you’d expect. Kurt/Blaine drama is kicked to the side. Kitty gets to be a sneaky bitch. Can’t believe this episode actually worked.

Devastating.

So the Grease musical has come together very quickly. Marley is upset because her costumes are becoming too tight. Little does she know that Kitty is secretly sowing them in to send Marley into fat panic. Amazing. Kitty bolsters this effort by teaching Marley the virtues of bulimia. But Blake snaps Marley out of it and she’s fine. Damn. Meanwhile, Alex is pulled out of the musical by his concerned parents, leading to me still not caring. Meanwhile, Kurt and Rachel fly out to McKinley to see the show, and Kate Hudson puts her moves (and vagina) on Brodie. And Finn/Rachel, Kurt/Blaine, Tina/Mike and Brittany/Santana long for each other. Because melodrama.

Let’s be honest: I prepared for the worst. THE. WORST. Have you forgotten the butchering of Rocky Horror? But there’s only a handful of songs from Grease, and I don’t really know Grease that well anyway, so whatever.

But this is Glee, so I must bitch. Bitch like the sun! (I’m not good with similes) Marley and Blake are so fucking boring. There’s nothing exciting or worthwhile about them. They’re just Finn and Rachel copycats with no significant back stories or flaws. Marley’s only point is that her mum is fat. Blake has zilch.

Worse, Kitty is still swanning around being a fabulous cunt. So it’s hard to care about Marley and Blake being sweet and non-threatenting when I’d much rather watch Kitty fuck some bitches up.

Why I hate this episode:

Glee seems to have a running problem with their villains being more appealing than their “heroes.” Kate Hudson is back to her evil ways. And when Rachel is so pretentious and dumb (she tells Hudson to “get back in the game” and pity invites her to go to an audition together) I don’t feel any sympathy for her when Brodie falls into those blonde, over-30 clutches.

Rachel also gets to be a hypocrite when she decides to return to McKinley, then gets all whingey that Finn is there and “it doesn’t feel like home anymore.” You knew you would see him. Typical female in a romcom bullshit.

Kurt gets hit with this as well, storming off while spewing self-righteousness when Blaine tries to talk to him. Yes, Blaine is a cheating douche, but Kurt’s the one who flew across the country to come see him, then bitches out and makes Blaine look at fault. Fucking drama queen.

Blake leads the first musical number of the episode, which is Greased Lightning. And he sucks all the energy out of it. He’s like a male, less masculine Kristen Stewart. Easy on the eyes, though.

Kurt is back. Well, we had 1 episode off. I suppose that’s the best I can expect from Ryan Murphy.

Finn calls in Santana to play Rizzo once Alex is pulled. Tina thinks she is the one that will be filling the role, and nobody even considers her. Tina gets no respect, yo.

Mike wants Tina back. And she’s willing to listen. Maybe she doesn’t deserve respect.

Marley wears the Sandy outfit for the end number. And instead of being called a “sad, clown hooker” like Rachel was, she is lusted after. And she doesn’t look anywhere near as good as Rachel did. Fucking double standards. Oh, and Finn fantasizes he and Rachel into the song, and Rachel is wearing another version of it this episode. So now he thinks it’s attractive? Jerk.

Oh, and the musical gets a perfect review from Lima’s supposedly harsh newspaper critic. Fuck off.

Reasons to watch:

I’m surprised and impressed with the restraint Glee showed this episode. Even though all of the broken up couples (except Will and Emma) have moments of longing, none of them actually reach for the reset button. Good.

The Grease stuff isn’t too heavy-handed. Good.

When Will first announces that he’s leaving and Finn will be replacing him, Tina flips her shit and calls Finn incompetent. Both true and hilarious.

Kitty is the best. She makes good on her obesity prophesying from last episode and starts making Marley believe she’s going to expand. Kitty is the new Santana. But blonde and even more ruthless. She’s perfect.

Rachel accidentally sums up the awkward plot split this season by telling Kurt that the musical has nothing to do with them. I lol’d.

Hudson is a cruel bitch when she encourages Rachel to go to the musical just so she can fuck Brodie while she’s away. She’s troll-tacular.

Brittany confuses Mercedes with Alex. Because they’re both fat, black and inconsequential to the plot.

Best line goes to Kitty. She’s holding a sleepover (so she can pressure Marley into bulimia) and Alex wants to come. She says he can, but his invitation is conditional: “But if I catch you hiding your dinkie between your legs and prancing around like Silence of the Lambs, you’re out.” Kinda sad that this show’s target demographic (fat, loveless 12 year-old girls. And huskier gays) won’t get that reference.

Second best line goes to Hudson, when she very accurately calls Rachel out on what she is: “A privileged, self-indulgent, diamond-” and then she’s cut off by Rachel hanging up. Because Rachel can’t handle the truth!

Blake and Marley kiss, leading to Jake being sad. Good.

And Hudson’s only motivation to sleep with Brodie is out of spite: the only reason to do anything ever. That’s my motto.

Glee Kate Hudson Cassandra Dean Geyer Brodie shirtless

Oh, K-Hud. You old dog.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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