TV Review: Revenge Season 2 Episode 7

I know I’m usually pretty prompt with my Revenge posts, but I have simply lost any excitement I once had for this show.

There’s just nothing at stake anymore. Even when Mama pulls a gun and is about to execute Victoria and Conrad, I can only think 2 things: 1) She’s not gonna do it because they’re main characters. Duh. 2) Why should I care about this situation? Mama is a crazy idiot and Victoria and Conrad are the villains who pretty much deserve it anyway.

I don’t care what happens to these people.

TL;DR There’s a surprisingly decent amount of plot relevant drama. If only I gave a shit.


So the plot sees Mason follow up on his discovery last episode of the Emily/Amanda being in prison together thing. Except he incorrectly assumes (with some prodding from Amanda) it to be an obsessive gay relationship (with Emily as the crazy one). Amanda gets pissed off with his snooping around, so tries to crowbar his ass. Emily busts it up then reveals the truth about who she is to Mason. Then promptly frames him for WHM’s murder and the frame-up of Conrad. Burn. Meanwhile, BritBrit convinces Nolan to hand over the David Clark start-up cheque so Daniel can use NolCorp as a tool to usurp Conrad at Grayson Global. I think. I’m not a business guy. And Mason tells Mama that the Graysons framed David so she goes nuts and pulls a gun on them. BritBrit and Emily stop her before she does anything and ship her the fuck away.

I gotta give this episode points for trying to do something exciting. The hostage situation and Emily’s revelation to Mason were genuinely exhilarating, but they are rendered completely moot almost immediately.

Mama doesn’t shoot the Graysons. Shocker.

And Emily puts Mason behind bars instantly. She tells him to write a book clearing her father’s name and she’ll engineer his release when he’s ready. So the only character (apart from our heroes) who knows the truth is now out of action. Boring.

On the other hand, the moment where Emily reveals herself to Mason is the first time I’ve IRL gasped while watching Revenge in a long time. So there.

Why I hate this episode:

Initiative Initiative Initiative. I’m sick of it! Just tell me something meaningful about them.

Also, a lot of the reason why the Graysons are tied up with the Initiative is about business and money and shit. Lame. I don’t care about your fucking Grayson Global melodrama. Unless it pertains to Emily’s revenge, cut it out.

Is anyone else sick of Emily’s pretentious bookend narrations? It’s so Grey’s Anatomy, which is definitely not a good thing. Yeah, Gossip Girl does it too, but it’s funny and flippant. Emily tries to be serious and poignant and it fails.

The Kenny bar drama adds a new character this episode. It’s Sam Anders from Battlestar Galactica. Oh god, are they really going to keep snowballing this? I don’t care about Jack’s bar. Unless it pertains to Emily’s revenge, cut it out.

That Initiative woman is apparently one of Grayson Global’s biggest investors. Tell me what you want or fuck off. You’ve been in 3 episodes now. Do something.

Mama continues to embarrass herself. She still won’t believe that WHM was a ruthless assassin for the Initiative. Get a clue, bitch. Or just take your medication and get out.

Emily never reveals that she is Amanda, so before she and BritBrit send Mama away, Emily’s like “tell me something you’d want to say to Amanda.” And Mama’s like “I wish I could have been a better mother.” Sentimentality kinda falls flat when both your characters are dickheads.

Accountant shows up for an obligatory scene where she says she’d love Nolan even if he was poor. Go away.

Mason fucking agrees to confessing to WHM’s murder and the Conrad frame-up. He’s had years to atone for his misdeeds in a way that wouldn’t see him in prison for a murder he didn’t commit. And he has proven to be a smug jerk. I don’t believe that he would suddenly decide “well, I guess I deserve it. Better go to jail until Emily is ready to set me free. And I know she is a driven psychopath. I’m sure it’ll be fine.” No.

Oh, and the ending of the episode is Emily and BritBrit kissing passionately. Go back to Daniel.

Reasons to watch:

Emily actually displays compassion for Nolan, something she has been doing pretty poorly for the most part. When he tells her he’s jeopardised NolCorp to help secure Emily’s safety (still a bit lost on how Daniel getting control of Grayson Global helps Emily, but I’m a dumbass, so) she seems sincerely upset for him. Good girl.

Despite how pointless it was, Mama’s gun fun time with the Graysons was pretty cool. Bitch angry. She even gets them blindfolded and on their knees, execution style. I lol’d.

When they think they’re gonna die, Conrad and Victoria link hands in a genuine display of affection. Later, when she’s going to bed, Conrad kisses Victoria on the forehead. Aww.

The Mason stuff was alright, too. Emily gets Mason to try to fob off Mama (she’s listening and instructing him via ear piece). Dude goes off script and tells Mama about what the Graysons did to David (which leads to the hostage sitch). I lol’d.

Amanda finally almost does something useful when she tries to kill Mason. Points for effort.

Mama is gone for good. Hopefully. And the WHM drama should be over now, too.

Daniel calls Victoria a homewrecker. Burn.

Best line goes to Emily when she says this about her mother staying at the Graysons’: “The sooner she gets out from under that roof, the better for everyone.” Replace “that roof” with “this show” and it’s super accurate.

Victoria and Conrad incorrectly conclude that the Initiative is responsible for setting Mama on them and tampering with their security cameras. Which very conveniently supports Victoria’s proposition that she and Conrad oppose the Initiative.

Oh yeah, Victoria wants Conrad to help her oppose the Initiative. Maybe she’ll become relevant to the plot again.

Revenge Emily Mason this close

But I’m bigger than that (ah ha!).

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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