TV Review: Glee Season 4 Episode 3

Glee Season 4 Rachel Brodie Dean Geyer kiss

“I sure hope my long-term boyfriend doesn’t choose this exact moment to turn up after having not been around for 3 episodes.”

Well, I’m honestly impressed that it took until episode 3 for Kurt to bash his way back into the spotlight.

And he fucking takes writers’ pet to embarrassing new heights.

Couple that with a heavy Blaine sub plot, and it’s like Glee never even changed. Glimmer of hope extinguished.

TL;DR I kinda just covered it. Kurt and Blaine fuck up the whole episode. Kurt gets everything way too easily and Blaine hogs songs while remaining completely arbitrary. Rachel’s plot thread slips in near the end, but nothing can fix this mess.

Not even Sarah Jessica Parker. Mainly because SJP’s presence makes this even more fucktardedly unbearable.

So, the plot this episode focuses on Kurt getting an intern job with Vogue online. SJP is his very easily impressed boss. Promotions and total coddling ensue. Blaine and Brittany recycle the loathsome “student election” plot from last season (but thankfully condense it into a single episode) for no reason at all. Rachel finally decides to get her mack on with Brodie. Finn shows up. Cliffhanger.

So if you haven’t guessed that my major problem with this episode is Kurt, then I’m seriously worried about you. You need some help. But let’s keep bitching, shall we?

Not only does Kurt instantly get the job after a very superficial interview, he also gets to be SJP’s personal confidante after a single meeting. He then proceeds to honour the good will from his boss by trespassing in the office at night to give Rachel a makeover. SJP comes charging in with security, but instead of doing something sane, she instead praises him and helps him shoot a music video. And then she sends the video to Anna Wintour and she loves it. Everything’s coming up Kurt!

Kill me now.

The only thing keeping this watchable is Sam’s abs and Rachel’s infidelity.

Why I hate this episode:

I think we’ve heard enough about Kurt. Let’s move onto Blaine.

So it’s a total recycle plot of last year’s student election, except we’ve swapped Kurt for Blaine. Thankfully there are no bizarre speeches about how dodgeball is the modern day equivalent of stoning. Unfortunately, just like last time, the whole thing is taken very seriously by the contenders. Who the fuck cares about your goddamn student elections? The debate (which recalls something similar…) is fucking insane. Artie’s endless list of promises is so stupid. Student councils don’t do anything! Brittany proved this last season. Nobody fucking cares! Sue doesn’t, the other students don’t. So why should we?

He wins, too. Thanks to Sam’s abs and Brittany’s brain existence failure.

There’s a part where Blaine is asking Kurt’s advice on which bow-tie to wear for the debate and Kurt doesn’t pay attention and only talks about himself. This is apparently shocking. It isn’t.

SJP turns out to be horrifyingly incompetent at her job (she hired Kurt, so I guess that was a sign). Although she does address the fact she isn’t qualified, it doesn’t stop her from using her influence to give Kurt everything he wants and doesn’t deserve.

I hate Kurt if you hadn’t picked that up yet.

Oh, and Rachel’s sub-plot also involves her being bullied by her NYADA classmates for being an out-of-towner. Kurt’s answer to Rachel’s genuine peer problem? New clothes! And it works.

Wtf.

Reasons to watch:

Sam’s contribution to the debate is stripping. I am okay with this.

Kurt’s only singing contribution this episode is as backup to SJP. If that isn’t the most brutal insult in the entertainment world, I don’t know what is.

I appreciated how SJP’s character wasn’t the stock-standard “massive bitch editor” stereotype. So there is at least some creativity left in this show. Shame they wasted it on the guest star.

Sue gets more than one scene. She’s still the most useless antagonist ever, but she’s also still hilarious.

Schue actually gets a decent sub-plot. Now that he’s achieved his goal of winning Nationals, he finds himself at a loss with what to do with his life. What really made early Glee so compelling was the balance between the kids’ stories and the adults’ stories. Glad to see Schue back. And facing some real problems.

Kurt ignoring Blaine made me lol.

Also, Blaine realises that the only reason he came to McKinley was for Kurt, and now he has no motivation. Drama!

Becky’s back with her xylophone.

Brittany/Sam seems to definitely be happening. Feel bad for Santana, but if bitch can’t even bother to be on-screen, that’s what she deserves.

Rachel dresses like a hot slut and locks lips with Brodie. This moment is made even more perfect by Finn showing up at the door about 2 seconds afterwards. Brodie’s hotter. Dump Finn, Rachel.

Brodie admits to having been obsessed with Ace of Base when he was younger. 90s kids will understand. I hate myself for saying that.

Best line goes to Brittany, with setup from Artie. He’s practicing debate questions with her:
Artie: “What is your favourite colour?”
Brittany: “Phillipino.”
At least the Glee writers can still enjoy racism.

Oh, and Kurt wears this fucking strange shirt with a wolf (I think) face on it. It’s sublime in its wtf-ness. Truly mesmerising.

Glee Season 4 Kurt SJP wolf

Snooki be maaaaaaaaaaaaad.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

6 responses to “TV Review: Glee Season 4 Episode 3”

  1. dimigeor says :

    Quick! Write about episode 4! There was a surprising lack of “glee”. First episode in … a really, really long time that was actually good (for Glee).

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