TV Review: The Glee Project Season 2 Episode 7

The Glee Project Nellie Britney Spears fruit

“I was interesting for about 12 seconds today. That’s super exhausting for me.”

It’s Theatricality week, so we should be able to expect some decent overacting and drama, right?

Oh, fuck you Glee Project. You used to be reliable.

TL;DR Nellie is still pathetic, Gaybraham is still sexually ambiguous, Aylin is still a Muslim. Same same. The outfits in the video were cool. That counts, right?

Ugh! What happened to this show? Only the boring people are getting kicked out, too, so there’s no excuse for the lack of squabbling and bullshit. That’s what makes this show great.

Anyway, this episode devotes quite a bit of screen time to Nellie and Gaybraham. Nellie is straight up inconsequential. Gaybraham is a crybaby. They’re not really focus material.

What really made me sad about this episode was how weak it was. This is the Theatricality episode, guys. Come on. The guest mentor was fucking Sebastian (the evil gay). Does he even qualify as a minor character on Glee?

Oh, and they use the Pussycat Dolls’ When I Grow Up for the video shoot. Is it even possible to have a more soulless version of a PCD song? Glee found a way.

On the plus side, most of the outfits in the video shoot were fantastic. Only Gaybraham as David Bowie looked a bit shithouse. And Lily couldn’t really pull off Cyndi Lauper (which the mentors were more than happy to point out).

Why I hate this episode:

Nellie gets more fucking notes about having no confidence. She’s gotten them pretty much every week. Bitch doesn’t learn.

She also totally blows her last chance performance. Yeah, she gets (spoiler alert. But really, you should be expecting this) eliminated, but I still hate her.

Sebastian is rocking a paedophile moustache/stubble thing. I think my vagina just permanently clamped shut. Barf.

They sing that song from A Chorus Line (the one about wanting to get a part. Meta!) and it is horrible. They all try way too hard and belt the crap out of it.

Aylin brings up the fact that she’s a Muslim. A. G. A. I. N.

The video sucked, but I guess I should be used to that by now.

Gaybraham (who I shouldn’t need to remind you is 20-fucking-4) cries like a little pussy when he has a whinge about being called androgynous. Dude, you are. And being a 24 year old who cries over name calling is not helping your case, btw.

He also side-steps labelling his own sexuality (he had stated in a previous episode that he was heterosexual, so I don’t know why it’s an issue now). Bitch is gay, yo. I don’t know why he feels the need to be so afraid of it on a Glee show.

Michael’s voice is starting to really annoy me. He sounds like he has a dumptruck-sized ball of snot up his nose. And he doesn’t go into the bottom 3, despite continuing criticism from the mentors. I think they just really wanted to get rid of Nellie.

After her last chance performance, Lily gets all uppity about how amazingly talented she is. She has a huge (ah ha!) chip on her shoulder about her weight. If you don’t like being stepped on because you’re fat, fucking diet and exercise. It works.

Ryan again goes on about how the winner is going to be a character on the show. Obviously he’s forgetting that he’s, you know, the writer, and it’s actually his job to create the characters. Silly Ryan.

Oh, and during the choreography rehearsals, Lily says she doesn’t know how Cyndi Lauper moves. Zach tells her that being like Cyndi isn’t important. Robert later criticises her on the video shoot for not being in the character enough. Then at the last chance performances, Robert and Zach jump on her together about her weak character work. Lily calls them out on it, but they backpedal and hide behind Ryan, who tells Lily to shut the fuck up. Rude.

Reasons to watch:

Gaybraham’s meltdown, while irritating, also shows what a stupid dick he is. So that works for me, too.

Almost everyone looks pretty cool in their superstar outfits. Special mentions to Aylin, who really pulls off that Madonna face, and Blake, who manages to make Boy George look attractive. Oh, and Nellie looks pretty hot as Britney Spears, but her attitude kills it. Oh! And Ali is stylin’  as Katy Perry. I like Ali.

Speaking of Ali, she wins the homework challenge. I’m okay with this.

Aylin doesn’t seem to care much that Charlie’s gone. Finally, we have something in common!

Nikki is pretty flippant about calling Gaybraham androgynous, even after he gets upset. That bitch is cold. Pregnant cold.

Nellie is given a song by Melissa Etheridge for her last chance performance. I’ve gotten that subtle gay vibe from her before, so I think they might have been trying to poke fun at her with that. Nice.

Lily gets an Adele song. Get it? Because they’re both overweight?

She rips the shit out of it, too, so extra points for Lily this episode.

Despite his pretentiousness, Ryan is actually pretty spot on about Gaybraham perceiving everything as a threat to his sexual identity. Just come out. Gosh. Nobody cares.

Lily swears during her post-performance rant. I like a girl with a mean mouth.

Oh, and Blake mentions he has a gay brother. Hook me up, bro.

The Glee Project Ali Katy Perry When I Grow Up video

Bloomberg is now directing music videos, apparently.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

2 responses to “TV Review: The Glee Project Season 2 Episode 7”

  1. Scott says :

    Lilly’s a dumb bitch; danceboy said if you can’t do Cyndi, do any character. Lilly takes this to mean “Be yourself, Lilly, you’re such a character!” But she’s not. She’s some fat chest-pumping whore. Remember how Dreads stole “skidoosh” from that last fat chest-pumping whore? After she stole it from Kung Fu Panda. Yeah. Words. Sentence Fragments. Edgy.

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