TV Review: Snooki & JWoww Season 1 Episode 7

Snooki & JWoww Jionni Roger lap dance drag queen

I never thought I’d be so jealous of a drag queen.

Oh, hello. I didn’t see you there.

Last time on I Just Hate Everything we asked if the Roger/Jenni phone call with the shouting and the lawsuit (ie: actual drama) would be interesting.

It’s not. Just like the majority of this show.

But, you know. Snooki. And Jwoww.

TL;DR If these weren’t easily consumed, 20 minute episodes, I’d probably switch off. I’m getting sick of the occasional Roger one-liner being the only thing that genuinely excites me.

Just do something! Do anything! Be interesting! Fight, fuck, I don’t care. Just do it. God.

So this episode focuses on…umm…eating? The foursome go to a restaurant with drag queens, then go to an engagement dinner at Jionni’s parents’ house. Nothing else happens.

Yeah, my problem with this episode is still the total absence of any meaningful drama. I understand “meaningful” is a relative term for a Jersey Shore spinoff, but come on. The Roger/Jenni phone fight fizzles out within 3 seconds of the episode starting. I’m just so bored. I never thought I’d be bored by anything Jersey. Makes me kinda miss the endless ordeal of SamRon from season 3 of Jersey Shore. And that is not a good sign.

Worse, considering this is most likely a staged reality show (we all know it), is this really the best the producers can come up with? Either they’re really bad at their jobs, or holy fucking shit this is actually a real reality show.

Why I hate this episode:

We actually don’t find out why Jenni is being sued. All we get is that it was something she did when she was 22, and the show tells us nothing else. Oh well, let’s Google this shit.

Hmm, it looks like I’ll have to be more specific.

Actually, cbf. The show doesn’t tell us, so my whingeing is still relevant.

Jenni and Roger actually do get back on the phone and go at it a little more. Jenni turns out to be one of those “if I say sorry then I am absolved of all responsibility” girls, though. Fuck off, bitch. You best not be grillin’ mah Roger.

The engagement dinner is very boring. Skip.

Jenni is frigid towards Roger again. My offer is still good, Rog. I’m lubed and ready.

Snooki decides the girls should go on a safari to Cancun. I’ve never been to Cancun, but I don’t think it’s the world’s top safari destination. Total wtf moment.

Oh, and the ending teases us with more drama next week (Snooki crying on the phone and saying she can’t live with Jenni). I’m not getting excited over these anymore until the show actually delivers. For once.

Reasons to watch:

The scenes at the drag queen restaurant are pretty hilarious. Jionni and Roger get lapdances, and they didn’t look too upset about it. Looks like I’m in with a chance after all.

They also both get their shirts off, and I gusta’d.

Following the Roger/Jenni fight, the gang all end up at the apartment before going to dinner. It’s super tense between Roger and Jenni, but Jionni (obv) is totally oblivious to it. It’s cute. In a dumb guido way.

Snooki trips and almost gives herself the ol’ “whoops-a-daisy” down the steps. Although I like how she is able to laugh at herself when she does something clumsy.

Roger makes a joke about how Jenni should sell her vagina to a pawn shop because she isn’t using it. That’s love.

Oh, and best line of the week goes to the black drag queen when she flirts with complete subtlety with our guidos: “You like chocolate? You like chocolate with nuts?” Simplicity is the way to go.

Snooki & JWoww Jenni laughing drag queen restaurant lapdance boring

Admitting you have a problem is the first step.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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