TV Review: Pretty Little Liars Season 3 Episode 6

Pretty Little Liars Spencer

Bitch has been keeping up with her Snooki shit.

After last episode’s wangst-fest, it’s very refreshing to see the PLL crew do a total inversion.

Which means Emily and Aria stay the fuck out of the way. Praise!

TL;DR Hanna and Spencer plot lines are much more relevant. And they’re much more boss than Emily and Aria. And we actually get some progress with Alison’s case.

So let’s start with our plot lines (organised by liar) this episode:

Spencer teams up with Jason as they hunt for clues to Alison’s murder. This is interesting and important.

Hanna acts like the bratty-boss-bitch that we love her for, and plots a scheme to confront A. It doesn’t go well (she is blonde, people), but Hanna always lights up the screen.

Aria does absolutely fucking nothing this episode. Her sole story revolves around her finding a large sum of money in Ezra’s sock drawer. His reason for having it is pretty flimsy, but even if he turned out to be Alison’s goddamn killer, I still wouldn’t care because he’s so dull.

And Emily stays mostly out of focus (thank fuck). She has a few more flashbacks to the night she was a drunk bitch, but nothing tangible yet, so snooze.

I must say we’re back to form here for the liars. I suppose I’m so used to this show being consistently enticing that even 1 Emily episode can leave me feeling like Blake Lively at the Oscars: untalented and with great tits. Analogies aren’t my thing. But yeah, this episode makes me want next week so much more.

To be completely honest, though (and it pains me), I’m starting to feel a bit fatigued with the whole mystery. I mean, I totes thought it was Ian, and that’s gone now. We’re not getting any definite and lasting conclusions to mysteries. Even Veronica Mars would solve 1 big mystery, then put twists in another. Here we just keep getting further and further away from finding Alison’s killer. Sure, there was the Mona thing last season finale, but A is still around and worse than ever. Eh. You know I’ll keep watching.

Why I hate this episode:

Even though they are swept aside, Aria and Emily really know how to stale up the joint. Aria in particular still gives me the shits. How can the girl who was supposed to be the main liar end up so pathetic? She is the epitome of inconsequential, and I don’t care at all about her domestic drama bullshit. Reveal Ezra is one of the A Team, and maybe it would have all been worth it.

Emily’s only relevant moment this episode comes when she runs into Holden at the church party. Holden who? I know, right. He’s that guy with the weak heart or something from last season who Aria pretended to date so she could secretly see Ezra. He has some stamp thing for a club that Emily remembers from her night on the sauce. Reminded me of that awful Gossip Girl episode with the secret sex club.

Toby continues to be boring and seems to just pop up whenever Spencer needs to kiss somebody. And I thought he was mostly up to speed with the whole A sitch. Why are Hanna and Spencer lying to him now? Or am I mistaken?

And Ashley embarrasses herself with Ted, and runs away. I just want her to be happy!

Reasons to watch:

Spencer actually affects Garrett’s trial. She and Jason track down an anklet of Alison’s (April Rose is the name of an antique store) and turn it into the police. Oops! It actually helps prove Garrett didn’t kill Alison. Because she was proactive and determined (even enlisting Jason for help), I did care when she broke down afterwards. Poor Spence.

Hanna gets to indulge her bratty side. I like how she’s shallow and flippant. Reminds me of me, when I was a 16 year old blonde girl. You know, in my dreams. Sigh. Her plot to confront A is intercepted by Wilden (douche cop). But considering how shady he is, it looks like we have another contender for the title of A.

Alison is back in flashback form this episode, and A gets off their vibrator and sends Spencer a gloat-tacular text. These elements keep that plot moving. Keep ’em up.

Best line this episode comes from Ted, of all people: “You haven’t partied ’til you’ve partied in a church rec room.” I’d go. For the free food.

Speaking of the party, Ashley asks Ted where the adult refreshments are. Silly Ashley, you’re in a church and trying to sex a pastor. Good luck with that.

Ted is kinda cool. I hope he and Ashley get their shit together.

Hanna gets a couple of decent lines, though. When discussing the appropriate footwear for confronting A: “I wear 3 inches or I wear nothing.” And when Spencer tells her A could be Lucas: “Then I’ll show up with a paddle and finish what I started at the lake.” Bitch be badass.

And Spencer’s dad is all mysterious and shit. The Hastings have so many secrets. Can I marry into this family, just for the drama?

Pretty Little Liars Hanna Spencer

If Blair Waldorf makes a rule, you goddamn obey it.


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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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