TV Review: The Glee Project Season 2 Episode 3

The Glee Project Blake hot

You’re the only 2 attractive males on the show. I need this.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a show with this kind of satisfying streak of not shit episodes.

The rage is calming inside me.

I need to go watch some regular Glee to reignite that fire.

TL;DR The unwarranted self-importance levels are reaching critical mass. I don’t know what critical mass means, but it sounds dangerous. Like Ryan Murphy’s fashion sense.

Oh, good fucking god, it’s the “vulnerability” epsiode.

And The Glee Project wastes no time in being totally oblivious to how contrived and pathetic it really is.

The lowlight of the episode has to be the homework assignment performance of My Life Would Suck Without You. To be fair, Glee actually did a good job with that one (it was the final song before the show began its nose dive). But whatever Glee can make bearable, The Glee Project can make vomitrocious.

Cue a bunch of vapid losers trying painfully to make an upbeat song into a downbeat piece of shit. Translation: they all put on their “constipated/cutting onions” face to try and look deep and emotional. It is torture.

At least guest mentor Cory Monteith calls Gaybraham out on it.

What makes this episode great, though, is Lily. I was right. She’s gonna be our villain. She’s like a fat, untalented Lindsay.

There’s a decent amount of bickering and bullshit, including a magical segment where they all get to talk about how they were bullied.

Why I hate this episode:

The homework assignment performance is truly, eye and ear rapingly, terrible.

And fucking Nellie wins. She’s so dull she makes Dani look like a well-rounded human being.

ADHD gets a little too into the bully acting in the video shoot (oh, they chose Everybody Hurts for the song. Obvious much?). He’s kinda scary and little pre-psychopath. Not sure if gusta.

To add insult, the finished video actually keeps in a shot of him stealing Mario’s cane. I think it was shot later and on purpose that time, but still. Seems like the mentors were just trying to cause trouble.

Ryan Murphy, after watching ADHD do a different take on the song he was given for the last chance performance, makes a quip about how this helps Glee be seen as something other than “the karaoke show.” He’s not fooling anybody.

The contestants play multiple characters in the video shoot. Some are bullies, some aren’t. It’s distracting and completely derails the message.

Aylin says in a confessional that she’s gonna keep doing what she’s been doing and that’ll get her through. Bitch, STFU.

Oh, and Gaybraham is apparently straight? Wut?

Reasons to watch:

Lily is a fucking tank.

Firstly, during their whinge-sesh about bullying, Lily admits to having been a former queen bee and total bitch (I’m assuming it was a couple years and more than a couple pounds ago). This explains a lot. She also cites Mean Girls as the reason she changed her ways (and her eating habits. Oh, that was too easy). Mean Girls changes lives, yo.

Unlike everyone else (especially Tyler), Shanna isn’t a wet pussy when talking about her bullying past. She’s honest about it and doesn’t milk the attention or wallow in woe. Love her.

Mario makes the most waves this episode, revealing himself to be a smug bastard. When the mentors try to critique him, he shoots back by citing his classical training credentials. Bitch, you’re on Glee. Training doesn’t mean shit. And don’t refute the mentors. It took them a long time and a lot of real, hard work to be able to coast along on a terrible reality show now that they’re old and unwanted. Respect.

Watching him devolve is satisfying.

The bullying scenes when they’re shooting the video are hilarious. They all seem very at home with being absolute bastards. Special mention to Lily (who almost breaks Aylin’s shoulders), Wheels (who even the mentors comment on how she’s a natural at it) and Shanna (she’s blonde, yo).

Oh, and Blake looks hot as fuck when he’s stomping heads.

The Glee Project Lily Aylin fight bully

And by “it”, I mean my vagina. Zing?

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

8 responses to “TV Review: The Glee Project Season 2 Episode 3”

  1. Scott says :

    I’m so fucking sick of Stevie Wonder.

  2. ijusthateeverything says :

    I was hoping he’d get eliminated.

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