TV Review: Snooki & JWoww Season 1 Episode 3

Snooki & JWoww Jionni Roger

Now kiss!

They should just rename this the “Roger is an obscenely awesome boss show.”

And the girls go to a sex museum, so there’s that.

TL;DR The show is staying on the right side of irreverent. Not so much drama this week, but a few great one liners and a ninja restaurant keeps things fresh.

Yeah, so Roger continues being the best thing ever.

On the other hand, Jionni is quickly setting himself up as the least impressive boyfriend ever. He’s short, not really that ripped, and apparently a massive pussy.

Although I’m sure it’s part lie, he and Snooki go to retarded lengths to decry strippers. Who doesn’t like strippers? Snooki and JWoww even did some stripper hiring back in Jersey season 5. Stop being such prudes.

This week sees the end of Jenni’s birthday dinner. Then the girls go homewares shopping (because that’s apparently a thing that pimped out guidettes do), go to a sex museum, a ninja restaurant AND an ultrasound. Bitches be busy.

The show still isn’t letting go of the “this is serious business” thing it’s been trying to force on us. When they’re in the homewares store they pretty much flash their tits so they can get a discount. Bitch(es), you can afford it. This pissed me off for two reasons. Firstly, Snooki even compares the amount they’re paying (it was around $1000) to when she buys expensive handbags. That’s not a girl who views money as an issue. Worse, the fucking store guy discounts it down to around $600. What an idiot. They can afford to be bled a little.

But still, this is a 20 minute show, so with all this going on, we don’t get bogged down too badly.

Why I hate this episode:

Jionni is a wimpy little shit. Just have your bachelor party the way you want it.

And Snooki and Jenni going on about how strippers are whores, sluts and prostitutes is hideously hypocritical.

The show couldn’t really decide if the ultrasound was serious or not. The background music got all solemn and shit, and Snooki’s worried about if her child isn’t healthy etc etc. I don’t come to anything Jersey Shore related looking for that.

Reasons to watch:

Roger.

They complain about how Roger’s breaking Jionni’s balls. Baby, you can break my balls any time.

Roger sings the Oompa Loompa song in reference to Jionni’s height. It’s amazing.

He also tries to do the “here comes the aeroplane” thing to Jionni. It is also amazing.

Roger also gets best line of the episode, in yet another reference to Jionnie being a midget: “I had a bigger bowel movement than you this morning.”

Snooki, too, has a big ‘ol chat about poo. I like a girl who’s honest about it.

The sex museum is hilarious. Jenni also weighs in with second best line of the episode: “Let’s pay for our dildos and go to dinner.” I don’t think they actually bought any dildos (and with Roger around, why would you want one?), but I dug it.

The ninja restaurant is cool as hell, and the girls’ reactions to being scared seemed genuine, which is a nice change of pace.

Snooki doesn’t miss out on some decent quotes. Upon seeing her ultrasound: “Ew!” and “I’m gonna throw up.”

Oh, and the “next week on” bit shows that the rest of the Jersey crew will be coming over for dinner. They listened!

Snooki & JWoww animal sex museum

I don’t know. There was that…oh. No, the caption is right.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

3 responses to “TV Review: Snooki & JWoww Season 1 Episode 3”

  1. Scott says :

    Who’s the hideous camelgirl next to Jenni in the topless pic?

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