TV Review: Snooki & JWoww Season 1 Episode 2

Snooki & JWoww Jenni

You will soon learn that I have developed more than a crush on Roger. I mean me. Not Jenni. Me.

A shallow review for a shallow show?

Yes.

TL;DR This is about as empty as a reality show can get. But it’s 20 minutes of delicious fluff.

And you thought Jersey was getting more and more soap opera.

This week we see the girls actually move into their gigantic apartment. Also, they whinge about bachelor parties.

That’s about it.

But I can’t really get pissed off. I knew what this would be going in. And Snooki and Jenni keep things cute enough.

I just can’t help but feel (and I mean it) the absence of the rest of the Jersey Shore crew. I don’t think Snooki and Jenni are strong enough to carry a show by themselves. This episode sees Roger and Jionni getting roped in as full cast members, but it still feels flat. This is painfully apparent during Jenni’s birthday dinner, which is just the 4 of them in a massive, empty apartment.

This show makes me feel lonely. And I already do that enough to myself, what with my horrible disposition and personal hygiene.

Why I hate this episode:

They keep playing this like it’s a real thing. Nobody’s buying it. Snooki goes on about how her dad’s gonna be pissed that she didn’t read all the terms of the lease blah blah blah. He does, btw. Come on, girls. We know a swarm of producers would have approved that thing before you and your ridiculous nails got anywhere near the dotted line. Drop it.

Jenni’s car breaks down. Don’t act like you can’t just go buy a new one. Or call a cab for fuck’s sake. Instead, this is an excuse to show Jenni learning to drive Roger’s ute. Although this is hilarious, it’s blatant padding for the already anorexic running time. Pathetic.

Jenni brings her fucking dogs with her. Lose ’em.

And Jenni has a bitch at Roger about how she doesn’t want him going to Jionni’s future bachelor party because she “knows what goes on at them.” Probably because she used to be the stripper, and not the maid of honour. I like the volatility between Jenni and Roger, but this another needless “fight” brought on arbitrarily.

Reasons to watch:

This makes me want Jersey back sooooooo bad.

The theme song is pretty snazzy. I don’t care. I love it.

Roger is the highlight of the show. He’s too much boss for this show to handle. He nabs the best quote this week. Jenni threatens to twist his nipple: “Don’t touch my titties.” Get the fuck out, J. I want him.

It’s nice to see Jionni has loosened up since his marathon tantrum in Italy. Though I do like it when he and Snooki fight. And this is a reality show, so I’m sure they’ll cook up a good throwdown sometime soon.

Everyone makes a butt-load of jokes about how short Jionni and Snooki’s baby will be. Brilliant.

Jenni’s 2 second outburst in her car after learning about Snooki’s situation is very JWoww. Love her.

And Snooki gets in a pretty nastily awesome dig at Jenni during her and Roger’s bachelor party argument. They’re talking about Jenni being controlling, and Snooki says “He (Jionni) would leave me if I was like that.” Cue awkwardness. And awesomeness.

Snooki & JWoww Roger kiss

He’s. Mine.

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About ijusthateeverything

Sincerity is death.

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