The Originals Season 5 Episode 8 – TV Review

The Originals The Kindness of Strangers Elijah hot

Should we make Kameron an honorary Mikaelson? Her last name’s almost there as it is.

Wait, so you’re telling me an episode that features meaningful conflict and stakes between established main characters is better than wading through suddenly-prophecies and nobody vampire Nazis?

That’s crazy.

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The Originals Season 5 Episode 7 – TV Review

The Originals God's Gonna Trouble the Waters Antoinette

Forget her, Elijah. She’s just vampire Nazi trash.

I’d like to first start this post by correcting an error I made last episode: there was Hollow-quake action at the house when Elijah and Klaus were fighting. Remember that random hail? Yeah, I didn’t last week, either.

But if a Hollow-quake happens in the woods, but it doesn’t affect the scene in any way and only pretends to be important when it’s brought up by a C-list character in the next episode in a suddenly-prophecy, does it make a story-impactful sound?

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The Originals Season 5 Episode 6 – TV Review

The Originals What Will I Have Left Klaus Caroline car

Looks like the Elijah Sex Face Parade is gonna have some stiff competition with the Fuck Me Daddy Klaus Eyes.

My final note after watching this episode was “what the fuck were the writers thinking?”

And to be fair, we haven’t reached I. Marlene King levels of WTFery yet.

But seriously?

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Riverdale Season 2 Episode 22 – TV Review

Riverdale Brave New World Kevin Moose kiss

It’s a gay off.

Despite Kevin and Moose finally getting it together after all this time, this episode has nowhere near the sense of culmination that the Season 1 finale did.

Probably because Season 1 was a slight-to-moderately heightened teen soap opera, whereas Season 2 is this blood-drenched, gangland nonsense, serial killer pit of darkness.

Reel it in, Season 3. Reel it in.

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The Originals Season 5 Episode 5 – TV Review

The Originals Don't it Just Break Your Heart Elijah sex face

The Hotness Parade has evolved.

But if he’s not doing it with Hayley, do we even want it?

Also Antoinette actually is a secret villain or is she hyuck hyuck.

Really, The Originals?

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Once Upon a Time Season 7 Episode 22 – TV Review

OUaT Leaving Storybrooke Regina Robin

Well, to be fair, Regina is the one that got me. Bitch.

It’s finally over. And for all my venom and bluster against this show over the years, there will be no gravedancing like there was with PLL.

Sure, even right to the very end this episode is full of plot contrivances and last minute twists that come out of nowhere. But amid all that, Once Upon a Time, much like it has for almost its entire run, found the one true thing within it all:

Regina.

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Once Upon a Time Season 7 Episode 21 – TV Review

OUaT Homecoming Cruella

Does being a Wish Realm copy count as being back, though?

I thought that this was going to be a trademark OUaT double episode finale, so let me just start by saying how grateful I am that it wasn’t.

Nobody deserves to sit through two hours of OUaT.

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