Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 20 – TV Review

PLL Til Death Do Us Part Drunk Mum Initiative

I, however, made the grave mistake of watching it stone cold sober.
I have regrets.

There are only three possible explanations for how Pretty Little Liars turned out:

1) I. Marlene King is clinically insane;

2) I. Marlene King is the greatest troll of the decade; or

3) I. Marlene King is just an incompetent, egomaniacal dickhead.

Don’t you wish it was anything but number 3? Sigh.

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The Originals Season 4 Episode 13 – TV Review

The Originals The Feast of All Sinners Elijah

“Okay.”

Seriously, how did The Originals get renewed?

The ratings are lacklustre.

TVD is dead, so the CW’s not hanging onto it out of loyalty to the parent show.

And this episode feels completely like a series finale.

Who is Julie Plec blackmailing?

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Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 19 – TV Review

PLL Farewell, My Lovely group shot

Sorry, Em.

Can you feel the soothing waves of relief washing over you, with the knowledge that after this, only one more excruciating episode of Pretty Little Liars will ever darken you life?

We’re almost free.

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The Originals Season 4 Episode 12 – TV Review

The Originals Voodoo Child Elijah handsome

With a face like that, I don’t care how many Red Doors he has in his soulscape.

It’s becoming a sincere disappointment that The Originals, which has been pretty good at keeping its characters’ shit together, even when the plot was at times a tensionless, weasel-filled disaster, is having Hayley act so irrationally.

Fine, then. Fuck off. Elijah will be dripping in new ‘tang so fast it’ll be like you never existed.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 18 – TV Review

PLL Choose or Lose The Usual Suspects lineup

Pretty Little Liars is in the same league, right?

God help me, I actually enjoyed this episode.

Because something actually fucking happened.

If only we could go back in time and let the rest of the season and series know this hidden secret.

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The Originals Season 4 Episode 11 – TV Review

The Originals A Spirit Here That Won't Be Broken Jackson cameo

When did Hayley’s brain fall out?

No, seriously: what the fuck, Hayley?

Also, I’m still unclear on how the Crescents are not biologically related. So no, Hayley. Jackson was not the better choice.

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Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 17 – TV Review

PLL Driving Miss Crazy Ashley returns

Fucking finally.

But you know that thing I said about new lows every episode?

Not even Ashley can stave off that.

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