Charmed Season 1 Episode 1 – TV Review

And no, I’m not going to harp on with “b-b-b-but the original.”

Because since when is Charmed fucking sacred?

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Dynasty Season 2 Episode 2 – TV Review

Dynasty Ship of Vipers Steven reaction face

And Steven looks super handsome.

I’m ready to call it: Dynasty is reaching Gossip Girl Season 2 levels of fabulosity.

Sending Fallon to New York was the on-the-nose push I needed.

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Riverdale Season 3 Episode 2 – TV Review

Riverdale Fortune and Men's Eyes Cheryl bra locker room

As is becoming tradition.

Riverdale may have dropped the ball when it came to absurd, over the top mafia drama last season.

But how do you feel about absurd, over the top prison drama, eh?

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Dynasty Season 2 Episode 1 – TV Review

Dynasty Twenty-three Skidoo Alexis caviar

Alexis(was)onfire.

Step aside, Riverdale. The real drama-actually-happens-at-our-parties deal has returned.

Also, Cristal is fucking dead.

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Riverdale Season 3 Episode 1 – TV Review

Riverdale Labor Day Archie shirtless

When I said I wanted Season 3 to go back to basics, this is exactly what I meant.

Step aside, wannabe-Riverdale. The real, ab-flaunting deal has returned.

Also, levitating babies.

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Heathers Season 1 Episode 10 – TV Review

Heathers Are We Going to Prom or Hell JD Veronica dying

“But I thought you couldn’t cry for me because I was already dead?”

Yeah, mate. I’m over it.

I kept trying to give Heathers a fair go. And to be fair, it wasn’t all bad.

But goddamn, way to be all bluster and controversy, and then have nothing to actually back it up.

This is just like that stupid Seth Rogen in North Korea movie. Except that wasn’t ten fucking episodes long.

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Heathers Season 1 Episode 9 – TV Review

Heathers I'm a No Rust Build-Up Man Myself funeral

-Heathers, 2018

Get it? Because Heathers was cancelled before it even aired?

Also, a major character dies this episode.

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