The Originals Season 5 Episode 10 – TV Review

The Originals There in the Disappearing Light Hope Hollow nuke

Who do you think you are with those blue contact lenses? Coco Montrese?

In an unrelated note, I saw a Toyota ad today with Ginger Spice from TVD.

See? There is a life after TVD. And it isn’t to keep setting up Hope for that Legacies spin-off.

I’m just not keen, okay?

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The Originals Season 5 Episode 9 – TV Review

The Originals We Have Not Long to Love Freya Keelin bombing

Sidebar: Freya’s “just got suicide bombed” hair is fucking delicious, honey.

The Originals continues its theft of things from Once Upon a Time, it seems.

Not only did they pillage Jaime Murray, but now they’ve followed OUaT Season 7’s plan of hurriedly dumping all the new stuff you introduced in your final season in the ramp up to the series finale.

I mean, I’ll allow it. But why emulate OUaT?

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The Originals Season 5 Episode 8 – TV Review

The Originals The Kindness of Strangers Elijah hot

Should we make Kameron an honorary Mikaelson? Her last name’s almost there as it is.

Wait, so you’re telling me an episode that features meaningful conflict and stakes between established main characters is better than wading through suddenly-prophecies and nobody vampire Nazis?

That’s crazy.

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The Originals Season 5 Episode 7 – TV Review

The Originals God's Gonna Trouble the Waters Antoinette

Forget her, Elijah. She’s just vampire Nazi trash.

I’d like to first start this post by correcting an error I made last episode: there was Hollow-quake action at the house when Elijah and Klaus were fighting. Remember that random hail? Yeah, I didn’t last week, either.

But if a Hollow-quake happens in the woods, but it doesn’t affect the scene in any way and only pretends to be important when it’s brought up by a C-list character in the next episode in a suddenly-prophecy, does it make a story-impactful sound?

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The Originals Season 5 Episode 6 – TV Review

The Originals What Will I Have Left Klaus Caroline car

Looks like the Elijah Sex Face Parade is gonna have some stiff competition with the Fuck Me Daddy Klaus Eyes.

My final note after watching this episode was “what the fuck were the writers thinking?”

And to be fair, we haven’t reached I. Marlene King levels of WTFery yet.

But seriously?

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Riverdale Season 2 Episode 22 – TV Review

Riverdale Brave New World Kevin Moose kiss

It’s a gay off.

Despite Kevin and Moose finally getting it together after all this time, this episode has nowhere near the sense of culmination that the Season 1 finale did.

Probably because Season 1 was a slight-to-moderately heightened teen soap opera, whereas Season 2 is this blood-drenched, gangland nonsense, serial killer pit of darkness.

Reel it in, Season 3. Reel it in.

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The Originals Season 5 Episode 5 – TV Review

The Originals Don't it Just Break Your Heart Elijah sex face

The Hotness Parade has evolved.

But if he’s not doing it with Hayley, do we even want it?

Also Antoinette actually is a secret villain or is she hyuck hyuck.

Really, The Originals?

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